So, now I pray

Once upon a time I thought I had all the answers to child raising. What I learned on the way through the child raising years was that every child is different, and life screws up everybody on the way through so that there is no such thing as an ideal family. I thought about starting the blog with "What I learned on the way through the child raising years could fill a book." Oh, I could write a lot about what I learned from the experiences life gave us, but I think it really boils down to the two observations I actually did start the blog with.

On good days, I say I love my daughter no matter what. On bad days I say I don't know where I went wrong. My children are not me, but when they are so different from me that the family resemblance (metaphorically speaking) is not noticeable any longer, then I have to wonder about the chain of events that led to a breakdown in family resemblance. I also have to try to wonder about the spiritual aspect. I started out thinking, in those days when I had all the answers, that I could present my children to God as spiritual people because they would see the same in me. But, as I mentioned, life screws up everybody on the way through. Such idealism as I started out thinking ought to be condemned everywhere it is taught. I don't know if I was taught such idealism, or if I just thought that is what was taught. Either way, it doesn't matter now.

So, now I am in the business of prayer. I don't understand much about prayer. It doesn't make sense intellectually that God would need to his people to pray if prayer is merely a series of requests. But, even though I don't understand it, it is one of the strongest themes found in both Old and New Testaments. But if one of the clearest themes will accomplish God's will, then I ought to abandon my petty idealism for sure and just do what has been a spiritual discipline throughout the ages. The results couldn't be worse than the way it turned out thinking that a strong Christian example would work. I kick myself now for my stupid idealism. So, now I pray.