Scarless events

My sister-in-law referred to the Xmas for the in-law side of the family as the ADD Xmas. That's because everyone raced through the present opening to watch the football game. Consequently, not all gifts were opened in the sight of everyone. They were held to the privacy of the person's home at a later time.

I don't know how many times I have missed getting to absorb the value of some event in my children's lives because I was off to the next thing on my list. I hope it was often since they are now gone from home. But memories are tricky and I don't know what they might label the ADD event for them for whatever reason.

Fortunately, humans are malleable people and we let our memories guide only what we want them to guide. We all get over miserable events in our lives and move on. Most of the time there is no scarring effect. I hope the New Year brings those scarless events. So be it.

Ravaging sands

I recently communicated with a friend from the remote past. It was good to hear from him. A lot has gone on in his life. Life never leaves us the same after it blows through. He was the epitome of freshness and enthusiasm. He now is ravaged by the sands of time. I would like to say it's sad to see, but I would just be incriminating my own story to say that. So, I will instead say that I empathize with him. I hope he finds the kindness from the Creator that he seeks.

For those who think they know

Words, words, words. So says a Shakespearean character to indicate that someone just said something meaningless. Words in the wind is another expression. Words, however, do allow us to express the emotions and intentions we have in our minds. So, I don't particularly like the two expressions just mentioned.

Last Friday at work there was a debriefing session with a company that wants to fix our department, so I thought I would play a little mind game (word game) with them. I did this to see if they truly can tell about people making up the department just through having training sessions and debriefing sessions. I don't think they are too terribly good at it. At least, over the last 3 months, I think they are tuned in to the wrong speech markers and behavior tags. They'll be back in February. That means I am left to plot against them again. At least I will have a little planning time. This should be fun.

Lining up pictures

I use a camera from time to time to have the great memories in place. I look back on those memories through the snapshot that has been taken only rarely. I wonder why that is sometimes. But that is the subject of another blog.

Today I had an occasion that reminded me so much of looking at pictures of our lives at various stages in life. I have a decision coming up concerning my daughter. I know that that decision will take place over a period of the next 4 weeks and then that particular decision time will be gone forever although its ramifications won't. So, I started down history lane to form a "track record" in my mind to help me make this decision. That is typical of my M.O., but I realize that other people use a different process by which to make decisions. The events that ended up going into that record were pictures that I wanted to destroy or redo. Of course, time is linear, and redoing and destroying are impossible.

I lined up snapshots that I hoped would lead me to a bottom line and then a decision could be made. Well, the bottom line wasn't there. It was smudged, gray, unclear. The snapshots were clear, but adding up snapshots does not include real life. It only adds up moments in time. It doesn't factor in hope or prayer. It doesn't include that I am really not in control of what is best for other people (nor should I be).

There will be a decision made over the next 4 weeks. But, I have no idea what that decision will turn out being. It will only include the pictures in my mind of past events to a less than 50% extent because life is dynamic, not static like memories and pictures. Every time I look at a picture, I remember what happened after that or what resulted after the picture was taken.

That leaves me with a dynamic life-giver leading me through a dynamic life circumstance. I just have to trust that a card will not be misplayed from this hand. If it is, it will cost me in a very important aspect of life for the next 20 years. So, walking in the park over the next 4 weeks will be an interesting proposition. That's when the dynamic life-giver and I get together. I hope to see clearly the path through this life circumstance, just like I clearly see the path in the park every day. May it be so.

Until then

I got to talk of dreams today. They were not shared dreams, however, with the one to whom I talked. That is a shame since I would like for them to have been shared. So, I can see some decisions that I hoped I could avoid ahead on the horizon. But, life is not predictable, and people do not always act as they indicate they will when only in the talking stage. And the One who can invade people's minds with thoughts that they don't have at first is still in the mix. There will be another occasion to talk again of dreams. We'll see how it turns out at that point.

Tunes for refreshment

The music inspired me today. In fact, I can't go long in a day without hearing my inspiring music. It feeds my psyche. It causes me to be grounded. It allows me to think clearly. It urges me to give tribute to whom tribute is due. So, I keep my music in the car and my study so that I can always remember who my maker is. Not that I would forget. But so that I can keep him foremost in my environment. Simply having words in the environment won't cut it. Art and music feed my psyche. So, I try to have plenty of both. Long live the musicians and artists among us.

The broken life

I see brokenness all around me. People I know, including me, have children that have strayed from the straight and narrow. People I know have divorce decrees structured that give their precious children to reprobate parents for weekends and holidays who should never be allowed to be in the presence of children. People I know have back ailments that have dogged them all of their adult lives, but they just live through the pain. People I know have experienced children who have committed suicide at young ages. People I know work themselves to the bone only to go home to ungrateful children who think their parents should be doing more for them. People I know have seen trials of drunken teenagers kill their children and left them with grandchildren to raise. People I know live with spouses who have diseases that have robbed them of earthly vigor - still the commitment to spouse and Creator alike is honored.

Ad infinitum.

All of these people call themselves by the name of the one who died for their forgiveness of sins. All of these people call out to the one who created the heavens and the earth and who decides at times to intervene in human affairs.

My heart aches for all of them and me along with them. Our cries continue to haunt the heavenly realms. It seems they are put into a vault. Not long ago, I wept on the way to work for the sorry human condition I find myself in. I wiped my eye and turned the tear on my finger heavenward, thinking, "Surely you see these tears!"

Hear your broken people. Heal your broken people. Don't discard your broken people. Meet your broken people on their individual paths tomorrow and speak to them, reassure them. The journey home is long.

Succumbing to grace

Rage is what I experienced today. People trying to do jobs at which they were incompetent. People trying to go over other people's heads with supervisors. People trying to get others in trouble. People socializing when work was supposed to be getting done. People wasting time when productivity to meet a tight schedule was needed. All on my watch. Somehow, I will sleep tonight and wake up to return to the same group of people with the same behaviors. Through the night I will hear the refrain, "My grace is sufficient for you." Tomorrow I will start renewed because I can be gracious in return for the grace I receive tonight. A conversation with the Maker of all about 6:30 AM will ensure the day gets off on the right foot. I'll run the above idea by Him at that time, but I think the answer will be, "Freely you have received. Freely give."

Gone in 60 seconds

"You say the nicest things." Of course, it's not the words. It's the attitude behind the words. A person smiles, nods, empathizes. A person visits, calls at the right time, places a card in the mail. It's all about actions and pictures (attitudes). It's not about words. When the words fade, which is about 30 minutes after they are uttered, a person remembers the gesture, the attitude. Words are like dreams. They dissipate, but one remembers the fact that a dream occurred.

Maybe today and tomorrow, I can decide to be pleasant, to have a ready word for someone who will then also decide that I was pleasant toward him or her. That should affect someone positively. I would love it to be so.

Pictures not words

All of us have heard, "Guns don't kill, people do." It's the same with words. They are vehicles. When words are used to malign others, the receiver of the words should not say someone has said thus and so to me. The receiver should say, "Your anger, your hatred has been conveyed adequately." One has to look past the words to the attitude or total message. Then, the proper response on the part of the receiver can formulated. If the response is to duel with the other person in words, it is much like the old-time duels with guns. It's still the people doing the killing, not the guns/words. There are other ways to show anger and hatred besides using words. Body posture is one. Ignoring someone is another. Avoidance is one. Fisticuffs is another. Pulling strings behind someone's back to get the person transferred or reassigned is one. Staring is another. Words are just vehicles. If one uses a thousand words, it's still just worth a picture. So, it's the picture, not the words that are important.

What pictures of others are rumbling around in my head? That guides my actions. Changing pictures changes the words. Not the other way around. My desire in working with others should be to have the right pictures, kind pictures, honest pictures rather than plotting, scheming, malicious pictures. Today I resolve to do so.

Vehicles

A car has no brains. It is the driver that makes the car do what it does. It is the manufacturer that designs the car in the first place that gives a car its magic. Words have no brains either. They are not magic. It is the speaker with an idea that has to use words as a vehicle to express the idea. The idea is magic.

Part 2 later.

Spin doctor

In writing, people always have a choice of words. That means that the choices made truly represent what is on someone's mind. This is generally true of speech although it is somewhat more complicated. This makes email a great medium to analyze. It's the written word, so it really does reflect one's thinking. It takes a clever person to put spin on a message. That's because it takes time to massage words to communicate something other than what is on someone's mind. So, next time you want to put a mask on the words you write, just spend a little more time than it takes to empty your mind of its first round of word choices. Massage, massage, massage—presto, spin happens. Congratulations.

Wisdom of not knowing

I don't know what it is like to live to 100. But, this weekend my grandmother turned 100, so we had a big party for her. All of her extended family with the exception of 2 grandchildren, 2 great grandchildren and 1 great, great grandchild gathered to honor her. People came from California and Arkansas and all points around Texas. Grandmother tired after about an hour, so she went back to her apartment. Then she came back for another two-hour round of eating and gift-giving before retiring for the night.

At the end of the party, I went over to her and said that I thought she would mention why she had lived so long. I was looking for something profound, some advice to follow. But, her answer was, "I don't know."

And that's about the truth for many aspects of life. She was wise enough to admit it. I think I need to be looking at certain aspects of life and admitting my absolute failure to be able to analyze them accurately. "I don't know" needs to be a more recurring refrain from my lips. I need to look at a circumstance and admit, "I didn't create it. I don't understand it. I don't control it. Not even close. Don't even try." So be it.

The quietest man

I work around the corner from a health insurance man. He is very quiet. Most days I don't even know whether he is at work or not. He exchanges greetings if I happen to see him on the elevator or in the bathroom, but that is rare.

This week it was time for my annual review for health insurance, so I went to see this very quiet man. We talked about my current needs an updates. And, of course, no talk with an insurance man happens without talk of death and dying—thus the need for life insurance. I guess he thought I was a little distraught with the talk of death and dying, so he mentioned that death doesn't really matter for those who know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. It was very naturally spoken by him, it's just that I wasn't expecting that statement from him, the quietest man on earth.

So, I am thankful today that I live in a world in which many around me, whether I know it or not, have a faith that will lead them home one of these days. Once in a while, it looks as if evil is actually overcoming good. Then I run into these quiet people. It always surprises. But, it also always encourages me.

This Thanksgiving I am encouraged that this world has many representatives of the next world all around me.

Noticing a turn of events

I am wondering now what will happen. 6 weeks ago the One who disturbs his people's sleep did so and led me to a book I had not read in a number of years. It was about apocalyptic literature. I accepted the ensuing events over the last six weeks in light of the intensity of oppression that is reflected in this genre of literature. And it has been intense at work. I have prayed for a certain enemy, but as is the case with enemies, they don't relent. I have worked 10-16 hour days to survive in this environment. Still nothing has changed.

But as is also true of apocalypses, there is an end to the oppression. The Weaver of Events wins and works His will. The last two days have seen a turning point. Finally, the one human who can rid the enemy of his ungodly work has been made aware of certain obstacles (placed in the way by this evil minion) that have been unnecessary and unreasoned. In time, the One who weaves to win will get the recognition he deserves for the capitulation of one who belongs to His enemy. I will sing that praise in advance through this blog. I say "Thank you" and hope it echoes through the divine quarters.

This for that

There sometimes seems to be a unity in life that allows for compensation, a quid pro quo system. It seems that if one experiences good, then bad follows or if one has a particularly bad experience, then a particularly good experience follows. One such case of this happens the Friday after Thanksgiving. My maternal grandmother turns 100. What an achievement. On the other hand, I never knew my paternal grandmother. She died when my father was around 10. Another such case is that my son departed for another world at an early age. Immediately on the heels of departure, The One who compensates led me straight into a job I had tried for over a 10-year period of time. It was just in a different town from the one I had lived in for a long time.

Call it irony, maybe even cruel justice. I don't understand the compensation fully. It just seems to exist. I don't think there is an answer in the sacred book or an equivalent observation in it. It doesn't seem to be related at all to the sow-reap principle. So, I just accept it when it happens and log in one more observation.

Inside the storm

I work in the midst of a stormy environment. Everyday I see evil wax and wane against good. Somedays corruption wins the day. Other times, integrity wins the day. So, a storm rages. I frequently remember this saying:

Sometimes God calms the storm.
But sometimes God lets the storm rage
and calms His child.

So, after a particularly nasty storm last night, The Calmer of spirits came today to do just that. Tonight my spirit rests.

One day this, the next day that

What happened?
One day I was trucking down life with hope in one hand and zest in the other.
What happened?
The next day the life-partner took a different track in life and I lost the hand of hope.
What happened?
The next day the son of my loins departed this life for the next and I lost the hand of zest.
What happened?
One day I realized that this world highlights life's arrows and darts, and I lose unless someone is waiting on the other side and is actively guiding me home. Zest and hope are restored.


John 1
11He came to his own country, but his own people did not receive him. 12Some, however, did receive him and believed in him; so he gave them the right to become God's children.

On people and dens

I don't really know anymore what society wants out of people. Somebody gripes about something or someone, it seems, all the time. If you make accommodations for someone, a larger group gets mad or starts to question. If someone sees someone else get to do something that (s)he doesn't get to do, petty jealousy sets in. People decide not to get along for a variety of reasons. Politics is disgusting, but we are all forced to play it. So, we're all left with doing what suits us. So, when the Master Teacher decided to clear out the temple for some of the same reasons I just mentioned, I guess he had reached his limit. I think I am at mine too. And I think everyday that I could say when I go to work, "You have made my father's house of prayer into a den of thieves." Father help us all.

My hearing has improved

Listening to voices that don't come through the space continuum of our 3D world is an art not a science. Mainly because it deals with belief. One has to believe actually that the Creator not only creates but also "speaks" so that He can be understood. Thus, in my personal odyssey through this life, I have had to learn to decipher the "voice" that can be heard.

In my younger years, I heard nothing. Then again, I uttered prayers, but they didn't merit an "answer" to them most of the time. They consisted of thanks and help me. But ever since The One Who Showed No Mighty Rivers to me liberated me from the chains of organized religion, I have had experiences that "spoke" to my mind and intersected with circumstances that I had nothing to do with.

So, listening these days does not mean that my ears have audible sounds that stike the ear drum. It means that I have learned to see trademarks on experiences, mind impressions, visual scenes, dreams, disturbed sleep, and I'm sure another "sound" or two that are left off this list. Oh, they don't happen daily. Sometimes weeks go by. Sometimes perspective comes after a couple of years. Sometimes, inspirations happen in retrospect of a decade. Sometimes encouragements come every few days. But, that is the way it was designed. I am an adult child and I'm not living at home. So, when my father visits, he leaves a little of himself behind. He communicates in the most pleasant of ways and occasionally in the most troubling of ways.

It made such a difference when I finally understood the Son of Man's words when he said that he was returning to his father, but that he would leave someone else with us who would stand beside us and that this other person would guide us to a more complete understanding.

Thanks to him I understand "voices" when I hear/sense them.

What I'm left with

This was one of those mornings which happened just like I wanted it to. I got up, walked, ate breakfast, went to a study, ate lunch, watched a ball game, etc. So, why is it at the end of the day (literally) that I feel as if I missed something today.

I think it is that I am expecting that the One who leads will lead me to something/someone that will slake my thirst for wanting to see what is in the other dimension. That does happen on occasion. I guess I want to see it on a more frequent basis. So, I'm left with trusting.

That's all anyone is ever left with. And the Master Teacher's main saying about the after-life is about trusting: "You trust God. Trust me as well... I am going to prepare a place for you." So, I'm left with trusting.

I'm not buying it

I think I need to take a page out of the history of the earth. The earth was hot at first, then cooled. As it did, life began to flourish on the earth. First it was in the sea; then came the flying creatures, then the huge reptiles. They disappeared. Next came several species of humans, the last of which was the species that modern people resemble. Over that period of time the earth continued to change. It went through periods of ice over much of the earth and through periods of heat and drought. Once a volcano erupted that nearly caused the human race to go extinct.

All that to say that sometimes we have to depart from childhood ideas and ideals. Circumstances around a person change. Sometimes huge changes take place that cause the world to "be a different place." A person, for example, who became an adult in 1930 went through so much change during the 20th century that his or her childhood didn't even resemble the childhood of his or her grandchildren. It was a different world!

And although it is the popular idea that the One who made the world and everything in it never changes, there's something about the history of the earth and the world that I was born into and that I will exit that tells me a different story. And I wish that the children of the Creator would allow God to deal with each of his children in the generation in which he was born instead of always trying to figure out the grand design and saying that they have captured God in some design that they have concocted. Or that the way the Creator dealt with his children of the ancient past is the way in which he deals with His current children. I'm not buying it (if it is for sale anywhere).

Subtlety

I was expecting something different. I wanted to see fire from heaven burning the sacrifice on the altar. I got taking the men to the river to see who wants to lap water like dogs so that they could remain in the army.

I guess it doesn't really matter what the manifestation was. The One who leads in a variety of ways knows which way fits the occasion. I was disappointed. But, He didn't focus on my expectations. He simply came and went in the hearts of each participant without the trumpet's flourish. I was a little vengeful in what I expected and wanted. But subtlety was the fare for the day. I have to trust that the One who leads His children home helped each participant grow from something almost so subtle that I missed it. But, I am not in control.

Anticipation of God's main business

Tomorrow will be a special day. 6 people will be meeting in order to heal some of the splits that have happened to them over a 2 1/2 year period. 5 of these people have worked together for this period of time. 1 person has been a member of the team for only 4 months. Words have been exchanged and attitudes have been exhibited that have split the group in its desire to work together.

What is touching is that God shows up for meetings where reconciliation is the main theme. He's the precipitator of such meetings, the sustainer of graciousness during such meetings, the center of any progress in human relationships.

So, I look forward to tomorrow's meeting. I know the One Who Mends will show up. He will heal. He'll guide. 5 people will enjoy camaraderie again. A 6th person will join the bonding experience.

Appreciating a gift

The language of Neanderthals could not have been too sophisticated. It resembled more what chimpanzees have been able to accomplish since the muscles allowing for speech (attaching the jaw to the temple area) were not placed in the same position as modern homosapiens. However, that does not mean Neanderthals did not have a communication system set up.

But, what good does language do if its generators use speech to destroy instead of advance a good cause. So, it causes me to pause on the Son of Man's words, "By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." It's not a statement about sophistication of communication. It's a statement about the use of speech. Since it is a gift to homosapiens, its use should be prized. No other creature in the animal kingdom can be justified or condemned by its use of words.

Communication war

So much of the job entails communication with others. It's almost like a war every day. Some of the battles in the war are lost; others are won. Those lost cause a great deal of time in validating why the battle was lost. The wins are simple and create no time in validation. Usually a battle is won. But the lost ones require so much time, one would think that is all that happens in a day's time. So, talk is not cheap. Winning communcation isn't cheap. A lot of it has to happen for progress to be made. Losing communication is not cheap because so much backtracking takes place. Talk is prevalent, but not cheap.

Spirit over vehicle

I had a good conversation today about uniformity. The particular item of discussion was whether or not a particular reading method should be used throughout the whole school district of the city I work in.

I hate uniformity. But I love zeal. No matter what method a teacher uses, if she teaches with zeal, the children in her class learn. We need to make sure that a teacher teaches with zeal rather than monitor what method (s)he uses.

It seems that with any business, the matters of a person's spirit are infinitely more important than the vehicle a person's spirit is required to fit inside. There's not a one-size-fits-all vehicle. People's spirits drive beauty or terror in whatever capacity they may find themselves.

Poised position

"Poised" is a position I desire to be in. I don't know too much about this position. But, I do ask the One who would like to use people to poise me in the right positions for His use. I guess He will use me when the right time comes. I don't always know if my position is poised or not for Him to use. But, I guess he will let me know when He's ready. In the meantime, I wait in position.

Memory Maker

Memories are what we are left with when a person leaves our presence. If we write those memories down for posterity to read, then we help others have a memory even though presence never occurred. Church history is replete with creating memories for us all even though none of us alive today lived with these former great people. Polycarp is my favorite. He seemed to have had awesome presence with the early Christians.

The story of how he died a martyr's death is inspiring. It has created an indelible memory in my mind. It helps get me through hard times. It's a story of commitment in the face of the ultimate sacrifice. That allows me to hang on to my commitment when I least want to carry on with commitments I have made. So, I thank the greatest Memory Maker of them all for perpetuating Polycarp's memory much past his hour of presence on the earth. It has helped me to stay on the path home.

A second note about spiritual language acquisition

ghoti

This is always a favorite example of phoneticians when they began explaining the sound system of English. The word above is pronounced "fish." How, you say? gh=f as in enough; o=i as in women; ti=sh as in imagination. Sleight of hand to be sure. But the example allows for discussion leading to establishing spelling rules in the English language.

So, would there be equivalent rules of spelling or pronunciation in the spiritual language code? For example, if a spiritual event happened for someone else, would it be safe to transfer that principle for myself if my circumstances are different? Or would that be like selecting gh to sound as an f at the beginning of a word. Or what about some of the cultural comments that Paul makes? Is the thinking today that a woman's hair is her glory? Perhaps a woman's brain is her glory today or her class status or her ability to cook delicious food or any number of things. Or what about the application of Old Testament ideas to the modern scene? Because Hezekiah received 15 more years for his life, does that mean we also can negotiate with our Maker? Because the last book of Daniel is a book written in 164 BC using a former Jewish hero and having him "interpret" visions that applied to the oppressive times of Antiochus Epiphanes, does that mean that the modern person should be looking for some kind of modern application of the book (usually explained by religious people as a prophecy for modern times)?

Problems learning how to read the English language have come to be known as dyslexia. It's a correctable condition. I'm wondering if compensation for dyslexics needs to happen in the world of spiritual reading as well. Biblical scholars abound. Maybe they could help us learn something about spiritual reading.

Is there a vote for spiritual reading?

Language acquisition of any kind is interesting to me whether it be 1st lanugage acquisition, 2nd language acquisition or written language acquisition. In several different forums lately I have been informed of steps to written language acquisition or reading. The steps are phonemic awareness, sound/letter correlation, oral fluency, vocabulary, and comprehension. These are truly needed ingredients in order to read well.

So, I started thinking about acquisition to other "codes." What if there is a language of reading messages from the other (spiritual) dimension. What ingredients would that entail? Probably the same ones. One would have to be aware of the "sounds" of the new language. I suppose that would mean that a person is aware of the basics of God's hand in an event. Next would be the idea that God's actions are correlated somehow to our own. Next would be the act of seeing God's hand in action over and over. One would have to learn how to articulate new and old events well enough for others to understand it. And finally, one would fully comprehend God's actions in his own life and sometimes in the lives of others.

Maybe reading the other dimension's language with fluency is the same as wisdom. Maybe experience is a synonym for it. I don't know for sure. But, it's nice to know that there many, many fluent readers among us and that they can teach others how to read well. Perhaps, accepting the notion of a Creator is the step to be in a beginning reading group. And I am sure that he has much more success at teaching reading than the public schools. And I am pretty sure that he evaluates our ability from time to time. Thus, language acquisition and being a Christian in the world are synonymous.

Revealing what's inside

Being a linguist is the best job in the world. That's because analyzing speech is so fun. The Master Teacher said that people speak from the repostiory of the heart. That's the whole basis for any analysis I do. And it is so interesting to hear what is in people's hearts. Just today I heard someone making a derogatory comment about someone else because of regional vocabulary and pronunciation. I heard a presenter at a workshop make a plea/sales pitch for something she believed in strongly. Yet another person made some remarks in order to be positive about a situation that is irritating her to death. I had many more encounters than these but these serve to show that people's hearts are being exposed at every turn.

The derogatory comment was made to show the superiority of the individual. She needed the boost of herself. The presenter was proud of herself for fooling her audience with a little semantic witchcraft. She was blowing smoke because people allowed her to redifine some key educational concepts so that they could see their own goals more clearly (according to the redefined concept of education). She needed the job security. The last person was hurting over a situation and didn't want it to drag her down although she was spending more time on the matter than she wanted to.

I did reply to 2 out of 3 of these people to let them know that I knew what was on their hearts. The other person wasn't seeking a response, but charlatans never are. Words are dead give-aways to people and their thoughts. It's so fun. I guess the Master Teacher thought so too since he commented on it. There's a responsible side to this job too. But that's another blog's worth of words.

Say what is meant

I hear people speak many times, but just as many times, I hear reports of what people speak. It's not the same thing because I know that when speech is reported, that the teller only relates the gist of what was said through his or her own filter. I reacted to a statement of reported speech today. That's always a little perilous. But I knew I had to send a warning message of what I hoped was not said. I figured that if the teller had changed the wording, that she would get the message that I thought she had a poor choice of words. If the teller was accurate in the reporting, then the person she needed to carry the message back to would get the message of not being in denial, but accepting the results of her actions. Either way, I wanted to get a message across.

People don't expect that kind of reaction from me usually. They just think I need to listen to their version of a story. So, when I say something in order to send a message, they many times think that I am not a fair listener. But, since they are not expecting the response of getting a message about the report they just made, they make quick judgments about my reaction. In the end, it is a miscalculation on the part of those reporting someone else's speech. They find out that they need to choose accurate wording. But, that is the key to clear and concise communication.

To Him who is out ahead of me

I was called last Friday about a meeting that was to take place today. The one who informed me to prepare for the meeting, told me how vicious the people were who instigated the meeting. So, I was "loaded for bear."

The rest of the story reminds me of some of the fights that the Old Testament records that Joshua was called into. The battle lines had been drawn. The armies showed up, but God had laid all the groundwork and the Israelites routed their enemies. The Jericho takeover is a good example of this kind of story.

So, I showed up for my meeting. The person who had called the meeting was extremely nice. The people vicious people who instigated the meeting were equally as nice. They posed their questions, but accepted the answers. A resolution was made before the meeting's end. A more amiable meeting probably has not been held in this place. For a flash of a second, it seemed as if the groundwork for the meeting had already been laid.

In the old days of my youth, I would have let that flash of a thought go and looked for more earthly reasons for the meeting to have gone smoothly. But, these days, I pay attention to the flash of a thought. Of course, the groundwork had been laid. It seems that earlier in my life I had chosen to close my eyes to a recurring theme. Abram had the groundwork laid for him when he took his only son to the mountain to sacrifice. Isaac had the groundwork laid for him when he went back to his homeland to choose a wife. Jacob recognized the groundwork done for him before he met Esau. Moses knew that the pillar of fire was there to go before him into the wilderness. Joshua only had to march around walls for them to collapse. Jehoshaphat knew that someone had leveled the playing field for him before fighting one of his local enemies. Gideon conquered a huge army with only a handful of men because of the work ahead of time done for him. Even the Son of Man had someone who went before him to prepare his way.

So, call it scales falling from the eyes or something, but today I was supposed to have been led into a lion's den. I could not help but notice that someone was in the pit with me who had shut the lions' mouths. So, I say thank you to the One who goes before me on the way.

Trusting souls and sacred books

Once upon a time there was a book made that was added to over the centuries by people who lived over an 800-year period of time. It was considered sacred. After that 800-year period of time, a few other pieces of literature were added to it, but not many. Then, an event happened that divided history. It was reported that the Creator sent His son to earth to express His opinion about how life should be lived. Then a whole new sacred book was compiled that included the teachings of this son and how those principles were to be worked out in the culture.

I'm wondering why the sacred book was closed. One of the teachings of the son was that the Creator had put inside every trusting soul a conscience that would reflect the teachings. That's why the book should be added to continually. His spirit is not a retired author. Some modern people have been gifted to write. But, their books aren't sacred according to most of the trusting souls in the world. I think we ought to open the book and add some of the journeys of the modern trusting souls. They are equally as inspiring as some of the old stories.

I also think that if the book had not been closed, the bickering about meanings of certain of the sacred writings would have not continued at the level it is today. People would have accepted other writings from their own culture to argue about. Nonetheless, I think the Creator sent His son in order for people to just be inspired to live decent, honest, lives of integrity. And there are plenty of those stories if people would just notice or listen. I pay a lot more attention to the living spirit in people these days than to much debated passages from ancient texts, unless it would be to the teachings of the Creator's son. Then, this trusting soul is all ears.

In this world

The politics at the office are harsh and growing harsher. Scandals are breaking loose in Washington. Young people are being killed in public schools. A wall will be erected to keep our southern neighbors out if voted so by the congress. Terrorists are daily trying to enter our country to wreak havoc. Once a week I pass a wreck on the way to work. And in nearly every quarter destruction and wickedness seem to gain another inch of territory.

But, I walked in the park tonight in safety. My stomach is full. I can go to work from a house in which I slept comfortably. The moon outside is so full and bright and vibrant like its Maker. The earth is rotating on its axis. My son is in the safekeeping of my Father.

John 17
14I gave them your message, and the world hated them, because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. 15I do not ask you to take them out of the world, but I do ask you to keep them safe from the Evil One. 16Just as I do not belong to the world, they do not belong to the world. 17Dedicate them to yourself by means of the truth; your word is truth.

Divergent paths

Sometimes I think about my daughter's life. It has been so-o-o different from the one I lived at her age. I think about her childhood and see that she had a very different personality from mine. I consider her parents and see that they were so different from mine. I think of her brother and see that he was so different from my siblings. So, what should I expect? That she should be made in my image? She shares DNA, but she is still so different.

So, when I consider her future, I should see that it would be very different from the life that I have lived. But I don't. I wanted it to be different from what it is. I just want her to join me in the next life. But I guess the Maker of each person's path home is different. That's why I am left only to pray. I can't really guide her home. Her path is so different that I don't know what is ahead on her path. I merely make a request of her path Creator: Whatever is on her path home, let her see it clearly and act on it timely. Please make it so.

In need of earmarks

The day was hectic. About half of what should have been done got done. Time ran out. In the middle of the day, when it was apparent that not all would get done, I took a trip to a small outdoor walking park that is filled with pine trees and flowers. It's a sanctuary because it has all the earmarks of the Creator there - life, beauty, tranquility. I needed all 3 qualities today. The scene immediately calmed me - that's what the Creator of tranquil moments does best. Amidst the storm, a calm energy settled my spirit so that the rest of the day went smoothly for me, mentally at least. I was saved yet again from getting off the path that leads home.

Not breaking faith

Sometimes my sleep is disturbed with waking hours. This happens rarely. But, when it happens, I nearly always know that God is asking me to do something for him. I usually begin by praying, and if that is not what I find that He wants, then I read, thinking that my eyes will read what is needed for me to act upon.

Well, that happened the other night. The reading part is what God led me to. Prayer was not what God was asking for. But my reading was about apocalyptic literature. And not about Bible apocalypses, but the pseudapigraphical ones. Of course, apocalypses were written in times of oppression to let the believers know that if they did not lose faith, God would act.

At my workplace, oppression of the sort that pits good against evil is running rampant. So, God wanted me to just let my immediate supervisor know that God would act if she would just keep faith that He would act. She's a little impatient. But, God will do the acting because he hates evil more than we humans do. And when He acts... just reference the Elijah vs. Prophets of Baal story. Vintage God.

Hallelujah

While attending Oklahoma Christian College as a fresman, I heard a rumor around campus that a professor couldn't teach there unless he or she signed a statement acknowldging that the 1st 11 chapters of Genesis were literal. I didn't understand the ramifications of signing such a statement because I was just out of high school. And truly, I couldn't believe that someone could believe some other way than the literal interpretation of the 1st 11 chapters of Genesis.

By the time I was in my late 20s, I was hearing and reading about a flood story that the Sumerians had written that predated the Genesis material. It was at that point that I began doing timelines and reading archaeological and historical books about the ancient time periods. Then, I understood the dating of the Biblical books much better. During my 30s then, I had to come to a different understanding of the Bible. I also encountered a very different way of knowing how the Bible itself was put together through a theory called JEPD, after the names for God and the priestly ways of preserving the law. After translating a number of books of the New Testament, gaining a perspective of the influence of manuscript traditions, and discovering linguistic principles about the multiple meanings of words, I had to shift away from the literal interpretation of the Bible.

I went through my 40s learning more and continually shifting and shifting away from ideas such as inspiration of the Bible if it meant, as I had been trained as a youth, God's actual thinking through the hands of the humans involved in penning the books. I was finally able to see that if Genesis had been written around 1300 BCE and the Sumerian flood story had been written about 3000BCE, then it appeared that at the very least, the Hebrews had been transmitting stories from one generation to the next for 1000 years. About 1/2 way through that time span, Abram migrated from Sumeria (at least from the upper Mesopotamian area). God revealed himself to Abram, so the name of the maker of the flood and the causes were different, but the other details had been left intact. I finally understood what Oklahoma University had asked their professors to declare. By this time in my life, I also knew that I would never have been able to sign such a declaration. Even the Garden of Eden stories now had Sumerian prototypes. The names for God were different, but much of the story had been left as the Hebrews presented it hundreds of years later.

Just recently I ran across some information in a documentary that served as a crowning proof that any of the great stories of the Bible had literal value. The Garden of Eden was the topic of the documentary. It was interesting and plausible. But with 10 minutes left in the program, the editors of the program mentioned the keribda (cherubim) of the Garden. As it turns out, Keribda guard cities and important places in the ancient Mesopotamian area. They were winged creatures with the face of a wolf or dog, much like the Greek griffins. When Adam had been driven from the Garden, according to the Bible, Cherubim had been placed at the entrance to the garden so that Adam could not reenter it. Yet again, the Bible has its roots in some fanciful tales of the ancient Sumerians.

This information caused no surprise or stir for me. I had long ago given up the literal understanding of anything in the 1st 11 chapters of Genesis and maybe for Genesis itself. Many people see this stance as heretical. Some see it as just a misjudgment on my part. Others hope that this understanding is a phase in my life. What it has done is to liberate me from bibliolatry, worship of the Book. What it has done is to allow me to see the Old Testament more as a human record of humanity's attempt to worship a deity. What it has done is to show me the authentic, unique nature of Jesus, God's son, against a backdrop of human attempts to worship God. What it has done is to drive me closer to the presence of a modern, real, active God- a God not based or bound by tradition or by book(Bible) reading. My faith is much more vibrant now than it ever would have been. Hallelujah!

Oh yeah, the average day

I saw the horoscope today. It says I will have an average day. Ha. I have no idea what the average would be in a day. Every day's activities are different. People's reactions are different. People's moods and mine too are different. Events around town are different. When people depart from this life, leaving me without their company, my mindset is different. I can't even average my days over a long period of time because the seasons of life make my experience level in life different. Fortunately, the Maker of the stars gave us a book that records his interactions with humans rather than a book of the alignment of the planets. Oh, I'll go through my day all right, but average it will not be. Interacting with the Creator's creation it will be. As it always will be.

When the Accuser momentarily wins

It is sobering to notice when a brother or sister falls prey to the temptations of the Accuser because he no longer just accuses, he becomes correct in his accusations. There's always forgiveness, but contrition on the part of the Christian needs to come first. My heart feels for a sister right now who doesn't know yet that she is about to prove the Accuser right. My heart aches for her, but hopes that she will see the Forgiver and return instead of driving herself away. Please make it so.

Know thyself

I noticed today that some very educated people made some very ungrammatical statements. Fortunately, they were not trying to teach grammar. But they were presenting a program and representing a university. They were trying to gain the trust of the group I was a part of. I also noticed that the ungrammatical parts of their speech came at the same spot every time. That just means that the region or era or both that we grew up in marks us.

I know what marks speech, but I wonder what other areas of life leave their marks all over us. Probably childhood environment. Probably beliefs of parents and personalities of siblings. Probably the friends we chose. Ad infinitum. No wonder that adults are referred to as products of their environments.

I wish figuring out life were as simple as identifying what we are marked by. This identification is definitely a starting place in the journey of knowing ourselves. The next step is to know how we fit the bigger picture. That's another blog, though.

Let them rail

I got a dose of other people's realities today. Their reality was certainly not mine. My reality is always more positive than negative. Only one time in my life has that been different. But today I got to see other people's very negative realities. I guess they felt trapped or passed over or something limiting. They expressed pent up rage. They were trying to place blame on someone other than themselves.

But opinions are not facts. Facts can be evidenced; opinions are unsubstantiated notions. All the railing today took place after a scan of some data - cold, hard facts. The people should have stuck with the story the data was telling. Instead, they chose to ignore the facts. So, I choose to ignore their notions.

There will be no mighty river

The trip was drawing to a close. It had been fun. But the One who had made the rough, majestic mountains had not made Himself known yet. So, I took a hike down through the forest to a place where two rivers made their trails. One river roared down its course. Its white water splashed over immense rocks and boulders and occasional miniature waterfalls. Its thunderous sound carried a great distance from its banks. Its mist sprayed all those walking along its banks. The other river was small. "Stream" was a more appropos description. A person could jump it with one bound. Its sound was mostly blocked by the constant roar of the mightier river just 30 yards from it, but in the places where its trickle could be heard, it sounded like a large but continuous drip.

It was merely a last scene before the end of a weekend trip. Yet the message it carried let me know that the Maker of the two rivers' majesty just showed up. The message was enigmatically given, mirroring the cryptic messages given at the oracle of Delphi 2500 years before this scene. As time passed the message of this scene lingered and worked itself in my life.

But, it was this same scene two years later that impacted my life more immediately. I had come to the mighty riveronce again, but no roar could be heard, no splashing water over rocks, no mist on the skin. A drought had hit the region. Not a drop of water rolled down the mighty river's path. But the little stream 30 yards away was still trickling down the slope. Its banks were lush with green grass and flowers And its tiny sound was magnified in the silence of the forest.

The tiny sound, however, spoke a message so clearly and loudly. My aims had always been to follow religious teaching within an institution and to climb its hierarchical ladder to the top. But the One who had created my soul also created a scene for me to let me know that from this point on in my life the mighty river of religion in my life was not yielding a drop of water. It had dried up. There was no life in my ambitions. If I would just notice the real river of life, tiny in size comparison, yet much fuller in life, then I could know the one who gives life much better. He alone would sustain me without all the flash and glitz that religiosity might provide me.

It was not the message I wanted to hear, but it was the one I received. It has been true ever since I saw the scene. But, my sustenance has been continually supplied through the years by the giver of life and the teachings of the one who represented the creator of heaven and earth. I have learned that majesty of religiosity is not the path God placed me on. Instead, I learned that a simple trust in the small river of life has all the sustenance (and surprises) I need.

So be it.

Bottom of the barrel

I ponder from time to time what some of the master teacher's words meant. The beatitudes begin with (depending on the version one uses) "Blessed are the poor in spirit." When I first learned the Greek language, I thought it was neat to explore some of the meanings of words in the original such as, "How fortunate are the beggars in spirit."

But, trying to put either the idea of "blessed" or "poor" into something understandable has proven to be a challenge over the years. The word for "blessed" is a challenge in itself. Then the phrase "beggars in spirit" has multiple meanings depending on one's view of the time period. I wish I could definitively come to a conclusion about this saying. But, I can see that my lifetime is too short for a definitive conclusion.

Tonight I came close, I think, to the idea of this beatitude. It was in a group setting in which I usually have something to offer. But, the chat that went on at the beginning of the group time took my mind down a melancholic path. So, I had nothing to offer. As much as I may have wanted to offer something, my mouth was muted, and I listened mainly. I don't think I gained great insight from listening. The nature of the comments didn't pertain to issues needing great insight. The group discussion centered on a topic I was disinterested in. My inner person was impoverished. And as I understand "blessed," it would have something to do with being honorable or having integrity. So tonight I experienced the honor of feeling impoverished. Now I think I know what the bottom of the barrel looks like as far as it depends on me to do anything for myself or understand my own life.

The first beatitude was suddenly my reality. It was a weird place to be in. But, since I wasn't able to look to myself or anyone else for insight or understanding, the only place left to turn was to heaven. And that is exactly how the beatitude ends.

How honorable for you when you finally discover that you have an impoverished spirit because it is then that you will find/understand heaven. Jesus

Waiting on the Master Mathematician

I think the one who offers serendipitous moments did so yesterday. I had been praying for a certain enemy of right to be exposed to the one who could do something to rid the evil. After talking to someone about a related matter, this enemy's name was brought up and the person said that a certain distance had been created. I said that that was an answered prayer because it allowed more objectivity for the person who could rid this evil. Perhaps seeing with more objectivity would spur the action that needed to happen.

All of this cryptic language to say that the Master Mathematician can still cause 2 to be added to 2 to get 4 by allowing for circumstances to develop in the mind of the right person to get what the human equation is all about.

Relief with trepidation

Today I was privy to watching someone face his future being mapped for him. I have often wondered what that would be like. Of course, I was thinking of a fortune-teller mapping out the future or some religious so-called prophet engimatically telling what would happen. But, this sight today was directed and specific. The person watching his own future mapped stood there with two airs about him. One was relief mixed with trepidation. The other was courage to trust in a system that might fail him. The relief was evident by the confidence in the voice that the right decision had been made to put his fate in the hands of a single person. The trepidation involved the uncertainty that comes when you hope that circumstances will dictate something better than what you deserve, but you don't know for sure that the person holding your fate agrees that you don't deserve worse. The courage was evidenced by trusting the one who is your main advice giver. You hope against hope that the advice is sound.

So, I briefly had a chance to reflect on my own future for a moment having been taught by the scene I had just taken in. How much trust do I put in the one who holds my future? Is it mixed with courage? How much trepidation do I have when trying to see down the path a ways? Is it mixed with the relief that I have done the right, true, and honest thing?

So, I ask the One who holds my future to help me be poised to act honestly, to cherish right, and to be true to the CEO I serve on earth and to the One who spoke often of His father to earthly audiences a few years ago on the historical timeline. And I say ditto for the person who showed me courageous trepidation this very day.

Not courage, just trust

I went to a funeral today. The secretary's mother died at age 63. After the funeral one of the men riding with me said that he hated funerals. He hated death and admitted being scared of death. He' s still in his 20s.

One of my favorite songs was written 20 years ago by a group named Harvest. It was about Jesus conquering death. The line in the song that I still remember was, "He stared at sin and conquered death and now I'm a mountain climber." I liked the song because I admired the tenacity and sheer courage it takes to stare at sin and conquer death. I was in my early 30s when the song was popular.

Since that time, many around me that I knew have died, not the least of which were my father and son 8 days apart. Most recently my aunt died. But through those experiences, I have found that a person doesn't have tenacity nor courage to stare at sin and conquer death. Nor is it a matter to be frightened about. A person simply stares death in the face and trusts that the unknown parts of the actual crossing from one life to the other is handled appropriately by the one who hides those parts from us all. No courage really. Just simple trust in the capability of the creator of the life here and there to smoothly transport us from one side to the other. No tenacity, just trust.

"In my father's compund are many houses, many rooms. If it weren't so, I wouldn't have told you that it was. I am going to prepare this place for you." Jesus

Blessed are the merciful

I heard something today that made me think twice about my relationship with other people. What I heard today was not from someone talking about relationships with others so much as it was about requesting a prayer. The request was for me to pray for mercy. This is a prayer I am very familiar with since I have requested mercy for myself on a number of occasions. But I am much too hard on people I am around. And as far as I know, God always answers prayers for mercy when it comes from a contrite heart leading to a change in behavior. So I need to be more merciful. Thank you to the person requesting that prayer. May the Grantor of mercy be generous to him for it has certainly reminded me of a principle in life that I need to reconsider.

A little knowledge

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing,
Drink deep, therefore, or taste not Pierian Spring,
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
But drinking largely sobers us again.
Alexander Pope

One thing about having some age is that there is no reason to have an arrogance about what we know and don't know. Why bother wasting breath if we don't honestly know. We know that someone in the nation has studied a particular area. So, we simply defer to that person.

But on Thursday of this week, I came face-to-face with one of those young upstarts who thought her experience was the end-all word on a matter. She even decided to let her experience guide her thinking in direct opposition to a well researched idea. Her remarks, couched in rather stinging terms, didn't end with her notions being spoken. She decided that she needed to provide her great wealth of life's knowledge with everyone else in the city since it was so beneficial through mass producing a notebook of her ideas.

It is hard for me to be too diplomatic in such a situation. I excused myself from the conversation after about 10 minutes to go to more productive work left to do in the day, but the young woman droned on with a couple of other people for another 15 minutes. If I had thought to do it at the time, I would have quoted Alexander Pope's pithy saying listed above. But, there will be another occasion or she will discover this truth on her own. I can only hope she drinks largely to sober her from her intoxicated state.

Circumstances generalized

A note from my mother came today. It read, "I wish we could have met at the lake [for Labor Day], but that's life." My family canceled the reunion due to scheduling conflicts of mainly the spouses (outlaws) of the family. It seemed like sagotage to me, but as mom put it, "That's life."

Life is made up of individual circumstances. So depending on who is in charge of the circumstances, so goes life. It's always a give and take between those who control circumstances. But, whoever has the upper hand for the moment controls the circumstance. Since upper hands are subject to change, directions in life switch back and forth. So, we have come up with the expression so as not to blame the controllers of circumstances for the moment. "That's life," we say.

Dreamworld

Dreams and fantasies are mere hoaxes, right? They take the information in the brain and, while asleep, the information gets scrambled into something plausible although unlikely. They appear in story form at times and mere rapid paced fragments at other times. They entertain the taboo, the immoral, the uncouth, the imaginary. We can learn from dreams, smile at dreams, and forget dreams because they really don't matter.

That's what science would have us believe. But, on two very distinct occasions they have been something else - once a special insight, once a warning of what was to come. The Maker of dreams made them to relax us, to give us entertainment for the night, or to otherwise allow us to live in a truly surreal place. But, occasionally, He interrupts them for something He wants to deliver specially. He can do that when I'm awake also. But, that is the subject of a different blog.

Surreality

It was only a pause in time, only for a moment. The park was empty. My footsteps on the walkway were the only noise. Birds were absent. The sky misted the park's trees, paths and playground equipment. A near-fog hung in the air. Occasional, distant street sounds could be heard, but a person would have to be listening for them. It was just right for conversing with the Maker of just such scenes. The time went fast. A mile reeled off in what seemed like a couple of minutes rather than the actual 20. The subjects of conversation were the usual. It was the scene that was surreal. If I could have a steady diet of those kinds of surreal scenes, I think I would never have a dissatisfying moment in life. They help me see a side of life that is rarely seen. They are those moments when time is suspended and all is well in my inner world.

"Sometimes God calms the storm. But, sometimes, God lets the storm rage and He stills His child."

Down with fairy tales

In the familiar Wizard of Oz story, Dorothy starts her journey toward Oz following a yellow brick road. She collects friends throughout her journey. When she finally ends up in Oz, she has to overcome several obstacles before finally being given a blessing by the wizard. Then, she returns home to Kansas.

Here's the familiar story of a person today. People start their journeys toward adulthood following the American Dream of being whoever they want to be. They reach adulthood only to realize that the friends they picked up along the way led them off the American Dream and they didn't realize it, or the friends were in it for themselves and they are abandoned only to have to start over again with friendships in adulthood. Adulthood does bring its share of obstacles and often they end in job loss, identity loss, depression, or other dire straits. Then, if people are strong enough to have a spiritual experience, that is see the wizard, then so much baggage has been collected that they may or may not have the stamina to make it out of this life and into the next with a sense of wonder of the Creator of the universe.

Well, one of the stories was designed to be a fairy tale, one a reality check. But I have to wonder about fairy tales. They blow so much smoke of idealism into the world that they are not appreciated any longer. When is the last time you knew a young person who knows fairy tales or was told a fairy tale. That's because reality TV has dominated the air waves. And maybe they should since fairy tales take people nowhere in their worlds.

Operating from proverbs

Proverbs of a country are telling of what the people in the country see as important. Here' a recent one - hasta la vista, bebe. It of course means that a person is about to wreak havoc on another person. I appreciate well-placed aggression. Right now at my work is a highly ranked individual that is covering for someone who should have been fired for misrepresentation of reporting to a state agency.

Of course, this highly ranked individual is also covering for himself, at least from all apprearances, because he has probably hidden away something of value in several places not easy to detect. So, my prayer for this enemy is for the Maker of exposing opportunities to finally say, "Hasta la vista, bebe" to this individual. It would right a great number of wrongs in a palace of smoke and mirrors.

Perhaps, to expose this person would be the equivalent of taking off the head of the snake so the rest of the evil bodies involved would die with it. In this humble person's opinion speed is also of the essence. Otherwise, the cover-up will be complete before it can be discovered.

That would employ a second proverb - carpe diem. I think it's time for the CEO to be made aware of the snake, declare "hasta la vista, bebe," and then proceed with carpe diem posthaste.

Given enough time...

My sister lives in a place that usually receives about 25 inches of rain each year and is plush with greenery. She's had 40 days of 100 degree weather this summer and the place is brown. I live in a place that usually receives about 13 inches a year and the lawn is green only during May and June. It's brown the rest of the time. I've had very few days of 100 degrees and the month of August has had as many rain days as hot days.

I guess I can learn from nature here. What is here today is gone tomorrow or vice versa. So, if I can get this principle through my thick skull, then I will be able to live life on a more even keel. I certainly need that. I thank Mother Nature for her lesson.

The real life

What happened? I was rocking along in my 20s doing all the right things. Going to college, picking a career, getting married, being ambitious. I turned 30 and started having children, raising them "right," according to all the gurus of parenting, taking them to places that would help them morally, exposing them to dance and sports so they could more intelligently pick their own paths when the time came. I turned 40 and started noticing that life wasn't working out according to what I had been taught. Kids had a will of their own, wife had a will of her own, everyone's ends and means to ends were different at home and work. Then the kids left home. Now life really is upside down. What used to not bother me, bothers me so-o-o much now. My toleration level is up in many areas of life, but not in a few. I know where the skeletons are and which battles are really worth fighting. But I have to say that the parenting gurus were wrong, the childhood preachers were so idealistic that their teaching has lost all value, the kids of my loins depend on unconditional love rather than displaying any sense of genuine care of family ties. Life's a bitch and then you die. From the vantage point at the end of this day, it's true.

Bloglections

Tonight I got to comment on blogging in an unlikely context. I meet with a group on Tuesdays that gets together to study various parts of the Bible and apocrypha from time to time. We are studying Psalms at the moment. Someone asked if the Psalms attributed to David were written throughout his life on the spot of an incident that may have sparked his poetry or if he wrote of his experiences after the fact, years later.

I truly don't know since I wasn't there, but that allowed me to make a comment about blogging. If one were to go back and read my blogs from the time I started blogging, then I think you would have a pretty good idea at what point on life's path I am on. And judging from the tone of some of the blogs, you could guess that the events were near or far from the writing of them. And you would find that some blogs were mere musings while others were strong opinions. Some are philosophical in nature, while some are very much associated with direct experience. So in some ways, David's ancient psalms are like modern blogs.

What would a collection of blogs be called if they were collected like the Psalms? Maybe Bloglections. Someone ought to try it. Maybe they would assemble a modern, inspired book.

Ripping hearts

The thing about children is that they rip your heart out. Yes, there are those good times and memories, but on the long, rocky road to maturity, so many do not make it to the end of the tunnel. It is torturous to watch all the mistakes children make. The mistakes are the innocent kind during early adolescence. But, oh how they get more treacherous. They are our DNA. They mimic our habits both good and bad. It seems that they inherit the bad from both parents sometimes. But, when they leave home and follow their own roads that lead to nowhere, but they don't realize that the road goes nowhere, it empties your being of any redemptive value you might have thought you attained from having raised them. They just rip your heart out.

About starting points

My friend told me not long ago that I didn't belong any longer to the church denomination that I grew up in. We, of course, belong to the same denomination. I got further confirmation of this full force this morning.

I had gone to a Bible study class that I had studied for, but a guest speaker was in the usual teacher's place. The guest teacher was a leader in this particular church. His topic was Deuteronomy 13. The chapter is one of the harshest chapters in the Bible since it tells the Israelites to basically kill anyone, including wife and children, who takes them away from worshiping God. It's not that I don't know that chapter is there, it's that the ensuing explanation for that chapter by the teacher followed a whole different hermeneutic than I am willing to accept.

First, the teacher said Moses wrote this. Second, he started applying what he read there to strict adherence to following God in today's society. Third, he juxtaposed a passage from Matthew 10 (no person should love father or mother more than Jesus) with the Deuternomic passage. And finally, he asked the question of whether God's grace had become a god to lead us away from obedience to the true God.

I usually know that if I am listening to someone else teach and the starting point or premise of the lesson is different from mine, then there is never going to be a point in the lesson that will line up with my way of thinking about a passage. So, I knew right away that I probably should leave when he said that Moses wrote the passage. Scholars of Deuteronomy usually date the book to somewhere after the time of the kingdom split when priests became important. After all, the meaning of the title of the book is "Second Law" not "Moses' Law" or "Law in Moses' time." Second, there are few places in the Old Testament that have direct application to modern times. Today is a different time and place, so distant from Biblical times that not even the terrain of the world is the same, not to mention that an intervening covenant happened between Deuteronomy and today. Third, what Jesus taught in no way resembles what the Israelites were asked to do, so juxtaposing verses from Matthew 10 against Deuteronomy 13 is a non-sequitur - they're not even close to having the same meaning. And finally, to attribute a quality of God the same status as the deity himself is not even a possibility. Who would worship God's love without acknowledging the God behind the love? So, who would worship grace without acknowledging the God who grants the grace? I don't even think that is possible!

Once again, someone thought that the Bible was seamless, that the Bible's words to different people at different times in history were applicable to any group of people at any point upline in history. The leader was a federal judge. It escapes me how anyone that educated can buy into the same religion he learned as a child. Shouldn't the investigation taught to anyone who gets a post-secondary education mitigate childish notions about the Bible? Shouldn't those uninvestigated ideas that come historically from Medieval times and that slip down the time continuum be relegated by 21st century college graduates (especially those with advanced degrees) to the bone pile for not passing muster? I can't even believe I heard that grace could be worshiped as a god! That is doubly disgusting coming from someone with a jurisdoctorate degree no matter what his religious heritage is. It's as if he has mastered the many laws of the land but is still a high school dropout when it comes to hanging on to Medieval notions about the Bible.

It goes without saying that I will not be back for the next lesson that this person teaches next week. Fortunately, a saner person will be back the following week to teach. And he's not a leader of the church, but he at least knows that the Bible has different interpretations. He and I disagree often, but our starting point is usually close.

Deuteronomy having a modern application... Whoever heard of such a thing!

Light and dark

In a rerun of one of the CSI series, one of the CSI characters gave a homeless lady a flashlight. The lady took it and said, "Now I can see the stars better in the dark." I find myself thinking that books or church attendance or overcommitment on doing good things will illumine THE star (the Maker) so that I can see Him better. But they're just flashlights, and they don't illumine the star better. In fact, they interfere with it just like the flashlilght does. Light on earth just interferes with the light from the heavens. So, I accept more readily these days that to see the light better, I have to operate in the dark more often. So be it.

THE day

I wrote this blog a few days ago when I was unable to connect to the internet.

8-13-06

This is a special day. My son of 19 years changed his residence from this world to the next. That was 3 years ago. I miss him terribly, but I will catch up to him soon. His memory is a joyful one. On one hand, the experience gutted me of the will to carry on. On the other hand, the experience inspires me to do what it takes to meet him again. I used to be afraid of death. Now I know to just look it in the eye and welcome the unknown state with joy because it is merely a passage way to God’s place.

I really haven’t been able to express the utter anguish that I have felt for the last 3 years and don’t have the will power now to try writing about this experience. All I have to say is, “Jordan, I love you. I’ll see you soon.”

A map - I don't think so

I wrote this blog a few days ago even though I couldn't put it on the internet until today.

8-12-06


I have heard that the Bible is like a map to life since it guides a person to a destination. Well… yes and no. Mainly no.

Life contains many specific situations. The New Testament contains general principles. I guess I could take the position that the general principles guide the behavior to manifest in specific situations. But that’s a position that doesn’t hold true very many times.

Maybe I don’t know how to apply the general principles. But, here’s an example. A woman castigates me to her supervisor, who in turn complains to my supervisor, who double-checks what I said and did. What is my reaction to the immediate circumstance? And since I have to work with the original complainer for the long term, what should be my standard working relationship? I guess I could apply the principal of being slapped on one cheek and turning the other to her in the short term and continue to be nice to her and pray for her as an enemy in the long term. Or, I could say that Jesus doesn’t mention anything about how to treat subordinates, and go confront the woman. Or, I could take the way I would want a person to address me if I had lodged a complaint against someone. Or, I could consider her a sister in Christ and take a witness to let her know of her offense to me. Or, I could ignore her behavior and chalk it up to the passage that refers to the attitude of allowing the filthy to continue in their filthiness and the righteous continue in their righteousness.

All of the above is just dealing with one circumstance. What would happen if I tried applying principles to the daily little circumstances that arise? I suppose that is why Jesus promised that after he left, there would be a spirit to guide us, stand beside us, and allow us to understand what a correct reaction would be.

Of course, the above statement opens up a whole other can of worms. But that is a matter for another day.

Leaves for the moment

Walking in the park, I noticed that the leaves were very green because it had rained the last 3 days. But my mind jumped back to the winter months so that I could only see tree limbs and no leaves. That time period seemed as if it were only a week ago. I knew that the leaves would be gone soon again and I could expect the same leafless limbs as before in just a short while.

That's pessimistic in a way - looking for the lifeless season in the midst of the season of life. But it's realistic in a way - noticing or anticipating what patterns are around and trying to prepare mentally for the recurring patterns.

But it's the recurring patterns that make my heart ache. Only the Maker of patterns can reach down and allow someone to change a pattern. That's why we need Him. I count on His forgiveness, but I also know to ask for His attention to my patterns so that I can change to a pattern of hearing his communication with me more clearly. And that's my prayer for today and tomorrow. It's my prayer for my enemies. It's my prayer for my daughter and wife. It's my prayer for my friend's wife and son.

So, now I pray

Once upon a time I thought I had all the answers to child raising. What I learned on the way through the child raising years was that every child is different, and life screws up everybody on the way through so that there is no such thing as an ideal family. I thought about starting the blog with "What I learned on the way through the child raising years could fill a book." Oh, I could write a lot about what I learned from the experiences life gave us, but I think it really boils down to the two observations I actually did start the blog with.

On good days, I say I love my daughter no matter what. On bad days I say I don't know where I went wrong. My children are not me, but when they are so different from me that the family resemblance (metaphorically speaking) is not noticeable any longer, then I have to wonder about the chain of events that led to a breakdown in family resemblance. I also have to try to wonder about the spiritual aspect. I started out thinking, in those days when I had all the answers, that I could present my children to God as spiritual people because they would see the same in me. But, as I mentioned, life screws up everybody on the way through. Such idealism as I started out thinking ought to be condemned everywhere it is taught. I don't know if I was taught such idealism, or if I just thought that is what was taught. Either way, it doesn't matter now.

So, now I am in the business of prayer. I don't understand much about prayer. It doesn't make sense intellectually that God would need to his people to pray if prayer is merely a series of requests. But, even though I don't understand it, it is one of the strongest themes found in both Old and New Testaments. But if one of the clearest themes will accomplish God's will, then I ought to abandon my petty idealism for sure and just do what has been a spiritual discipline throughout the ages. The results couldn't be worse than the way it turned out thinking that a strong Christian example would work. I kick myself now for my stupid idealism. So, now I pray.

Divinely appointed

The day started as a normal day. But, after just 5 minutes, my day changed. I was given a mission. Sometimes my supervisor gives direction or marching orders, but this was different. It was direction from someone out of the norm, and was unmistakably couched as a divinely appointed mission. So, I have my work cut out for me for the next month and half with this mission.

I was raised in the Church of Christ, so receiving a divinely appointed mission from a charismatic Christian is somewhat out of the norm and comfort zone of my background. But, God has altogether worked with me in a different way since the death of my son. I guess He knew I would be listening more closely to his voice or that I would not be throwing up theological arguments to the way in which He wanted to work with me. And I am certain that he knows I have finally learned the discipline of prayer in my life, so He uses that.

I am the least likely Christian to use in regards to prayer since that has been a Johnny-come-lately discipline in my life. But, from the first hint of my job outside the teaching classroom in Odessa to the present, prayer has been the source of God's direction for my life. It's a more exciting spiritual life I am leading these days. And it certainly depends less on people for the fulfillment of spiritual goals. It depends wholly on what God wants to send my way in His own timing of things. I'm game.

Future glimpse

I'm thinking that all is well. But, I can't see the future. So, life might be just starting to get really messed up. Or it might be on the upswing right now, so that the future might really be something grand. There's no way to know. Or if life is a series of trade-offs, then the future will not be any better or worse than it is now. It will just be different. First there will be one trade-off then another. One door will open while another one will close. One event will need addressing giving rise to arresting the development of other events. So, the future will hold about the same as the present. That's why I'm thinking that all is well.

2 or 3 more curves

A person can tell when something interrupts the usual way of life. Here it is June 24th and the last blog was June 3rd. 3 weeks of interruption. Part of it is the need to focus on a problem that cropped up that took extra time to fix. Part of it is just wearing out from work-a-day routines. Part of it is being depressed when several fires crop up at the same time and need attention from lack of attention for a somewhat lengthy period of time. After looking back over the last several blogs, I guess the time off was good to get the venom and rage out of my system.

But, there is a little relief from waiting 3 weeks. I don't feel like I need to vent about anything tonight. Oh, there is plenty to whine about. But, much time has gone into fixing problems. At least there has been forward motion started. Hopefully, that will gain momentum as time goes by. Some time on extra teaching has ended. A clearer direction for future physical meanderings is closer than it ever has been. So, much is looking up.

Tomorrow I go to the Revelation class again. But, somehow, I think I have reconciled what my role is and what it needs to be. It is a demon inside of me that wants others to give something that is not in their aresenal. My time needs to be spent on what I have to offer in writing more than anything. My arena needs to be somewhere other than some Sunday morning class in which no one really notices my going or coming. Perhaps, the creater wishes to use the opportunities he has presented me with just to get me over some obstacles in my path home. They're not for anyone else really unless it would be for some other lone traveler on the path.

Next week I return for a full regimen of work. I know what needs to be done and where to concentrate my energies.

The personal stuff in life will get taken care with or without me, so I don't have to fret about that. The personal goals I have will continue to come clear.

The race I am in is not over yet. But, I do know that I might have one or two more curves I can't see around, then the end of the journey will be in sight. May the One who Leads Me Home make me an efficient person at last.

Finally an early church literature review

If one were to review early church history, one would find that there are also seven letters to churches from Ignatius, the bishop of Antioch.These letters were written on his way through Turkey to face execution in Rome. Four of the letters went to the same towns as found in the seven letters from John's Revelation (Smyrna, Ephesus, Philsdelphia, and Sardis). Perhaps by looking at them, a person could find some corroboration of ideas to what is found in Revelation. Besides the commonality of seven letters and four to the same churches, the time period is very nearly the same. If John the apostle is the author and the date is around 96 AD, then Ignatius' letters come second, being dated to around 110 AD. If John the Elder wrote the Revelation, then the letters could have been written contemporaneously with Ignatius' or even shortly afterward. If shortly afterward, then perhpas Ignatius' letters served as a model or inspiration for the letters appearing in Revelation. Nonetheless, there are several connections between the two sets of seven letters.

First, in Ignatius' letter to the Ephesians, he addresses corruptive teaching forcefully. This matches the vehemence found in Revelation by John's using the term Jezebel for corruptive teaching. Ignatius' words are these, "Do not be deceived, my brothers and sisters. Corrupters of houses will not inherit the Kingdom of God. If a saying about corruptors of houses exists in the fleshly world as good advice, how much more meaningful is it if a person, through evil teaching, corrupts the faith of God for which Jesus was crucified. Such a person, having defiled himself, shall go into the unquenchable fire, as shall the one listening to that person" (Ephesians 16).

Second, if the term in Revelation, Jezebel, a name from the Jewish Bible, refers to a group of Jews, and if they belonged to a "synagogue of Satan" as the Jews were referred to in the letter to Smyrna (Rev.2.9), then the "knowledge of the depths of Satan" would refer to the Jewish teachings from the Jews in Thyatira. If this is the case, then there is a match of thought in Ignatius' letters as well. One of the stongest criticisms by Ignatius is found in his letter to the Magnesians. It states, "Do not be seduced by strange teachings or ancient fables because they are profitless. For if even to this day we live as Jews would have us live, we show that we have not received grace. The divine prophets lived as Jesus would have us live and they were persecuted because they were inspired by His grace. But because of this, disobedient Jews were supposed to have been fully persuaded that there is one God who manifested himself through Christ Jesus His son, who is the message that proceeded from His silence, who in all things was pleasing to Him who sent him... It is monstrous to talk of Jesus Christ and practice Judaism. For Christianity did not believe in Judaism, but Judaism in Christianity, and on that belief every tongue believed and was gathered together for God" (Magnesians 9, 10).

Ignatius also adressed "deep thoughts." He was speaking about speaking with the same authority as the apostles, but he would not do so since they knew more than he did. Ignatius says, "I have many deep thoughts in God: but I take stock of myself, otherwise I might die (spiritually) because of my boasting... So I crave gentleness whereby the prince of this world is brought to nothing" (Traillians 4).

So, Ignatius' words throw some light on what is being addressed at Thyatira. Hopefully, one can learn that the Jews were causing problems in the area for those wanting to believe in Jesus' teachings. In general, Christians lived among a corruptive forces whether secular or spiritual, and those who were leaders in the churches cared a lot about their flock following teachings that would lead them away from Jesus' teachings. And that sounds like the American environment, in which case I can take to heart the gist of the message—don't take my eyes off of the Jesus of the gospels in which he said, "I am the truth, the way, and the life." End of story.

Third a language check

It's always worth the while to take time to check the original language and to check manuscript traditions for variants in the text. The check doesn't yield much, theologically speaking, in this letter, but it offers a couple of interesting points.

Verse 24 uses a word for what many translations render "the deep things" belonging to Satan. The word in Greek does mean depths but it is put in juxtaposition with the word preceding it, which is "knowing." At the very least this is a classic case of sarcasm, and at most an obvious contrast or oxymoron. The sarcasm comes from some of the Christians not "knowing" what should be "known" if they would only plumb the depths of Christianity. But, Jesus is complimenting those not "knowing the depths" or having only shallow knowledge. Of course, then shallow knowledge is what Christians should know and knowing the depths is what gets people in trouble. If the phrase is taken as an oxymoron, then knowing something generally implies that one has studied deeply. But, who would want to know the depths "of Satan." The contrast is to take the phrase "knowing the depths" and putting it against "of Satan." The Gnostic group of Christians could have been referred to as Jezebel in the letter, and if that is the case, then using the verb for "know" is a slam against the group whose name derives from "knowledge" because the gnostic group has just been named the Satanic group. Gnostics thought they knew so much more than the regular Christians. But the "less knowing" group is complimented here.

A second tidbit from the language is the variant found in verse 22. Jesus says that Jezebel will be thrown on a sickbed. Three other words are found as variants for sickbed here. All of them are punitive. But each of them has a different slant on what will truly happen to Jezebel. One variant is that she would be thrown into prison; one is that she would be thrown in to a furnace; and one is that she would be thrown into a state of weakness. Whichever one is really right doesn't matter so much as the picture that God is ready to deal with Jezebel because she represents such utter evil. Thus, God is going to come through for the Christians at Thyratira for having such a "simple" faith. He will give the one who conquers (the temptation to know deeply a teaching from Satan) someone to brightly guide him or identify him with brilliance—the morning star!

Second an Old Testament allusion

A short excursion to the Old Testament reveals a little more meaning to the letter to Thyatira. Revelation in general is rife with Old Testament allusions. The 7 letters are no exception. Three OT allusions are encountered in this letter to Thyatira.

First is the reference to Jezebel from 1st and 2nd Kings. Ahab had to be the most wicked king in all of Israel's history. He had help, though. He married someone whose father carried the name of Baal, God's competitor in Sidon. After marrying this lady, he instituted her false religion in Israel. In other words he prostituted Israel's religion, figuratively speaking. Because of her influence, prophets uttered oracles against her, one of which was that she would die in Jezreel and another saying that her sons would be cut down and her royal line would come to an end. So, in Revelation Jezebel is the sybolic name for a prophetess who prostituted Jesus' religion and whose symbolic children would be cut down or caused to suffer great grief. God would not stand for a verse 2 of Jezebel to happen with the religion surrounding his son.

Another reference is to Psalm 2.8-9. This Psalm touts the overcomer to rule powerfully over his enemies. This definitely offset the legend of Thyrimnos with his double sided ax and his alliance with the Roman power. Jesus, in effect, says that his followers would be every bit as powerful as the local icon. Thus, the praise of verse 19 was reinforced with the Psalm portion in order to give encouragement to worn-out hearts for the love, faith, service and patience they had shown in their community.

A final reference seems to echo Jeremiah 11.20. The prophet is asking God for revenge on his enemies or at least observing that God would avenge him since he was God's prophet, so he says that the Lord of Hosts would judge fairly because he tries or searches the heart and mind. In Revelation the echo serves the same purpose. God would judge the Christians' enemies because he can search their minds and hearts for the evil they have in them.

The OT allusions have an identifying and encouraging role to play in the letter to Thyratira. Christians' hearts should have been encouraged because God was going to put evil in its place. The first centruy Christians needed to hear such a message. They understood it plainly and stood up as Christians against the backdrop of paganism starkly.

Connecting to history

Sometimes good literature has great symmetry in it. The first three chapters of Revelation certainly fit in here. Each of the 7 letters opens with an identifier that takes one back to the last several verses of the first chapter which is identifying Jesus as a person worthy of remembering. In the opening of this letter, the identifier "eyes like a flame of fire and feet like burnished bronze" connect directly to one of the main businesses in town, the metal workers. They not only made coins but other objects as well, such as armor and weapon parts. So, if Jesus was introducing himself to Christians in the town as one who knew them intimately, he had to name himself with an identifier that showed he had knowledge of the main guild in town in which some of them may have worked, but at least most of them respected or were beholden to. Jesus was perhaps saying that he was at least as powerful as the main guild was also, so he was not beholden to them nor would the Christians be if they were to follow him more closely.

Jesus also referred to a prophetess in Thyatira. That would be the priestess of Sembethe. She had been delivering oracles that "beguiled" or "seduced" the Christians into eating meat offered to idols and sexual intercourse. This doesn't take a wild imagination to understand what her oracles must have contained. Meat can be eaten without it having to represent the idol it was offered to. And, of course, if that is true, then sex can be separated from love so that it doesn't have to represent one's sharing of souls or one's giving of love. Of course, that also gets into the temple worship that seems to have existed in association with Artemis as well, that is, the association of sex with offerings to the great goddess Artemis.

A quotation was also given that Thyatirans could appreciate. "To the one who conquers (his temptations), I will give him power over the nations, and he shall rule them with a rod of iron." On some of the coins minted at Thyatira is the figure of Thyrimnos, the local legendary military hero. He always carried a double edged ax over his shoulder and was wearing a general's cloak. On one coin he is joined by a Roman general and both were referred to as the "sons of Zeus." So, militarily ruling with power might have an appeal or at least an immediate point of understanding by a Thyatiran.

One can derive all of this without any trouble if he just takes the time to do a little study of the history of Thyatira. Already the original listener to ths letter is attentive because he just might be thinking that Jesus knew the kind of person a Thyatiran was. Jesus would know the environment he lived in and understand him that much better. So, he would give an ear to hear "what the spirit is saying to the churches."

First a history lesson

I have to test this out. I thought after my railing in the last blog that I should quit stewing and do something about what I was upset about. So, I am going to blog the few things I come up with and see if there is a match next Sunday morning. I will also log my time to see if I come up with as much information in the same or less time than the teacher. So, over the next few blogs I am going to recount what I have found. The last several verses of Revelation 2 deal with the church at Thyatira.

First, I thought I should know something about ancient Thyatira. I have spent about 4 hours over the last 2 days looking at internet sites on ancient Thyatira. I would do this if I were teaching a class. 7 matters of interest pop up right away. Between 80 AD and 270 AD Thyatira was in the business of minting coins for the area. The town seemed to have been established as a garrison of soldiers for reinforcement purposes since it took the name Thyatira after about 330 BC. Over time it had become a center for guilds such as cloth dyeing, leather making, copper making, and about 7 others. An oracle (or temple containing a priestess [or prophetess in Jewish terms]) representing Sambethe was there. A temple to Artemis was also there although it was not to the same magnitude as the temple to Artemis in Ephesus. The local hero with demigod status was depicted on some of the coins. His name was Thyrimnos and he is also coupled with a Roman general and they were known as the sons of Zeus. In addition, bronze burnishing was a major guild and they had a demigod or legendary status at least for the founder of the trade. He also was put on the coins minted at Thyatira.

All of the above information is important because the letter delivered to the messenger to Thyatira adresses every aspect of their daily life and belief system. The next blog will deal with the connection between the history and the verses of the letter.