Scarless events

My sister-in-law referred to the Xmas for the in-law side of the family as the ADD Xmas. That's because everyone raced through the present opening to watch the football game. Consequently, not all gifts were opened in the sight of everyone. They were held to the privacy of the person's home at a later time.

I don't know how many times I have missed getting to absorb the value of some event in my children's lives because I was off to the next thing on my list. I hope it was often since they are now gone from home. But memories are tricky and I don't know what they might label the ADD event for them for whatever reason.

Fortunately, humans are malleable people and we let our memories guide only what we want them to guide. We all get over miserable events in our lives and move on. Most of the time there is no scarring effect. I hope the New Year brings those scarless events. So be it.

Ravaging sands

I recently communicated with a friend from the remote past. It was good to hear from him. A lot has gone on in his life. Life never leaves us the same after it blows through. He was the epitome of freshness and enthusiasm. He now is ravaged by the sands of time. I would like to say it's sad to see, but I would just be incriminating my own story to say that. So, I will instead say that I empathize with him. I hope he finds the kindness from the Creator that he seeks.

For those who think they know

Words, words, words. So says a Shakespearean character to indicate that someone just said something meaningless. Words in the wind is another expression. Words, however, do allow us to express the emotions and intentions we have in our minds. So, I don't particularly like the two expressions just mentioned.

Last Friday at work there was a debriefing session with a company that wants to fix our department, so I thought I would play a little mind game (word game) with them. I did this to see if they truly can tell about people making up the department just through having training sessions and debriefing sessions. I don't think they are too terribly good at it. At least, over the last 3 months, I think they are tuned in to the wrong speech markers and behavior tags. They'll be back in February. That means I am left to plot against them again. At least I will have a little planning time. This should be fun.

Lining up pictures

I use a camera from time to time to have the great memories in place. I look back on those memories through the snapshot that has been taken only rarely. I wonder why that is sometimes. But that is the subject of another blog.

Today I had an occasion that reminded me so much of looking at pictures of our lives at various stages in life. I have a decision coming up concerning my daughter. I know that that decision will take place over a period of the next 4 weeks and then that particular decision time will be gone forever although its ramifications won't. So, I started down history lane to form a "track record" in my mind to help me make this decision. That is typical of my M.O., but I realize that other people use a different process by which to make decisions. The events that ended up going into that record were pictures that I wanted to destroy or redo. Of course, time is linear, and redoing and destroying are impossible.

I lined up snapshots that I hoped would lead me to a bottom line and then a decision could be made. Well, the bottom line wasn't there. It was smudged, gray, unclear. The snapshots were clear, but adding up snapshots does not include real life. It only adds up moments in time. It doesn't factor in hope or prayer. It doesn't include that I am really not in control of what is best for other people (nor should I be).

There will be a decision made over the next 4 weeks. But, I have no idea what that decision will turn out being. It will only include the pictures in my mind of past events to a less than 50% extent because life is dynamic, not static like memories and pictures. Every time I look at a picture, I remember what happened after that or what resulted after the picture was taken.

That leaves me with a dynamic life-giver leading me through a dynamic life circumstance. I just have to trust that a card will not be misplayed from this hand. If it is, it will cost me in a very important aspect of life for the next 20 years. So, walking in the park over the next 4 weeks will be an interesting proposition. That's when the dynamic life-giver and I get together. I hope to see clearly the path through this life circumstance, just like I clearly see the path in the park every day. May it be so.

Until then

I got to talk of dreams today. They were not shared dreams, however, with the one to whom I talked. That is a shame since I would like for them to have been shared. So, I can see some decisions that I hoped I could avoid ahead on the horizon. But, life is not predictable, and people do not always act as they indicate they will when only in the talking stage. And the One who can invade people's minds with thoughts that they don't have at first is still in the mix. There will be another occasion to talk again of dreams. We'll see how it turns out at that point.

Tunes for refreshment

The music inspired me today. In fact, I can't go long in a day without hearing my inspiring music. It feeds my psyche. It causes me to be grounded. It allows me to think clearly. It urges me to give tribute to whom tribute is due. So, I keep my music in the car and my study so that I can always remember who my maker is. Not that I would forget. But so that I can keep him foremost in my environment. Simply having words in the environment won't cut it. Art and music feed my psyche. So, I try to have plenty of both. Long live the musicians and artists among us.

The broken life

I see brokenness all around me. People I know, including me, have children that have strayed from the straight and narrow. People I know have divorce decrees structured that give their precious children to reprobate parents for weekends and holidays who should never be allowed to be in the presence of children. People I know have back ailments that have dogged them all of their adult lives, but they just live through the pain. People I know have experienced children who have committed suicide at young ages. People I know work themselves to the bone only to go home to ungrateful children who think their parents should be doing more for them. People I know have seen trials of drunken teenagers kill their children and left them with grandchildren to raise. People I know live with spouses who have diseases that have robbed them of earthly vigor - still the commitment to spouse and Creator alike is honored.

Ad infinitum.

All of these people call themselves by the name of the one who died for their forgiveness of sins. All of these people call out to the one who created the heavens and the earth and who decides at times to intervene in human affairs.

My heart aches for all of them and me along with them. Our cries continue to haunt the heavenly realms. It seems they are put into a vault. Not long ago, I wept on the way to work for the sorry human condition I find myself in. I wiped my eye and turned the tear on my finger heavenward, thinking, "Surely you see these tears!"

Hear your broken people. Heal your broken people. Don't discard your broken people. Meet your broken people on their individual paths tomorrow and speak to them, reassure them. The journey home is long.

Succumbing to grace

Rage is what I experienced today. People trying to do jobs at which they were incompetent. People trying to go over other people's heads with supervisors. People trying to get others in trouble. People socializing when work was supposed to be getting done. People wasting time when productivity to meet a tight schedule was needed. All on my watch. Somehow, I will sleep tonight and wake up to return to the same group of people with the same behaviors. Through the night I will hear the refrain, "My grace is sufficient for you." Tomorrow I will start renewed because I can be gracious in return for the grace I receive tonight. A conversation with the Maker of all about 6:30 AM will ensure the day gets off on the right foot. I'll run the above idea by Him at that time, but I think the answer will be, "Freely you have received. Freely give."

Gone in 60 seconds

"You say the nicest things." Of course, it's not the words. It's the attitude behind the words. A person smiles, nods, empathizes. A person visits, calls at the right time, places a card in the mail. It's all about actions and pictures (attitudes). It's not about words. When the words fade, which is about 30 minutes after they are uttered, a person remembers the gesture, the attitude. Words are like dreams. They dissipate, but one remembers the fact that a dream occurred.

Maybe today and tomorrow, I can decide to be pleasant, to have a ready word for someone who will then also decide that I was pleasant toward him or her. That should affect someone positively. I would love it to be so.

Pictures not words

All of us have heard, "Guns don't kill, people do." It's the same with words. They are vehicles. When words are used to malign others, the receiver of the words should not say someone has said thus and so to me. The receiver should say, "Your anger, your hatred has been conveyed adequately." One has to look past the words to the attitude or total message. Then, the proper response on the part of the receiver can formulated. If the response is to duel with the other person in words, it is much like the old-time duels with guns. It's still the people doing the killing, not the guns/words. There are other ways to show anger and hatred besides using words. Body posture is one. Ignoring someone is another. Avoidance is one. Fisticuffs is another. Pulling strings behind someone's back to get the person transferred or reassigned is one. Staring is another. Words are just vehicles. If one uses a thousand words, it's still just worth a picture. So, it's the picture, not the words that are important.

What pictures of others are rumbling around in my head? That guides my actions. Changing pictures changes the words. Not the other way around. My desire in working with others should be to have the right pictures, kind pictures, honest pictures rather than plotting, scheming, malicious pictures. Today I resolve to do so.