Empty space

Empty space is necessary in a room. It helps set off the furniture, lamps, etc. Sometimes a room can have too much furniture so that it looks cluttered. That's because empty space has been overrun, invaded. One needs the empty space to move around in. Perhaps, my inner being needs empty space, too. It certainly can be invaded so that it becomes cluttered. It needs room for ideas to move around in, to rearrange the ideas in, to add to occasionally. But, too much space can be a problem as well. It shows a poverty of sorts. I find myself checking those empty spaces periodically. Finding just the right amount of it is the goal.

Tweaking

Developing a philosophical viewpoint is not easy. Too many contradictions in life abound. It takes a while for one to ferret out the patterns that exist for a viewpoint to come into focus. Then there's always the politics of developing a viewpoint. What if one finds that others don't agree or care for the viewpoint at which he arrives. Then one tweaks a little more. After all of this, then what's a philosophical viewpoint for? I think it is to learn tolerance because viewpoints merely reflect the slice of life to which one has been exposed. All one has to do is move 300 miles from the place he lives to find that the slice of life is different. 1000 miles yields a larger difference. By the time a person has lived 5 decades, he has seen a number of different slices of life to which to compare his philosophy. That's why a viewpoint is nearly always in a developing stage. And that's why the development of it is best when taken gradually. Time breaks down the resistance to change that we naturally have. It's probably true, then, that a philosophical viewpoint and wisdom are the same. It is said that wisdom comes with age. Certainly a finely honed viewpoint comes with age. Hone on, I guess.

Review

Back to routines. Back to familiarity. Back to what makes us ourselves. Break is a good word, but so is back. I can see my daughter mature another year as I return to the routine. I can appreciate my son for much more as I return. I can see better how to go about living a slightly more principled life as I get back into the normal rhythms. I think the familiar is our fabric—the familiar smells, sounds, sights, patterns. They're routines because we have tried the wild stuff. It's fun, but it's not worth doing all the time for some reason or another. We've adopted the tested and true activities for our lives. It's great to be back.

Overhang

I am about to go into a setting that to me is the same as being led to the edge of a bluff that overlooks hell. I can feel the heat from the flames. I can smell the stench of the burning bodies. I have to stand on the edge and feel the furnace. This is not a pleasant experience. It is an experience that requires me to stand on the edge of the bluff so that I know what the good life is when I return to it. I find that sometimes my clothing carries the smell from the flow of air that rushes over the edge from the pit when I walk away from the edge or that my face is redder from feeling the heat that radiates from the pit. In due time I will return to normal. I appreciate the path I am familiar with walking a whole lot more after returning from the edge

Risk

About 20 years ago, I played a game on a regular basis called Risk. As in many games, the option was to try to do well by risking some, none, or a lot. I have found that I have used the same strategy in the different stages of my life. At times, I have risked quite a bit. At other times, I have risked nothing. At still other times, I have risked a little. One strategy is not a sure fire win over the others because one has to look at the other players in the environment. I think the same is true about my spiritual life, too. At times I have risked quite a bit, other times nothing, and sometimes a little. The same is true about those in the environment controlling which strategy is used at any given time. 20 years ago, I probably won 50-60% of the time. The same is probably in true in both life in general and my spiritual life. One would think I have figured the key out by this time. Not true. The players keep changing. Even the same players keep changing. But this keeps the path Home vibrant and full of hope.

Learning theory

Learning theory is interesting. What we learn is based solely on our motivation, our interests, our personality, and our opportunities. I am wondering if that applies to the spiritual side of our lives as well. Probably does. That would mean that what we develop as values and beliefs depends in part on our personality. Diversity in values among people then makes sense. It would also mean that values depend on interests. I know this to be true. I look around and see that if people differ from me in interest level on some issue, then they don't have my value on their radar screens. I definitley see how motivation plays into value judgments. People make exceptions all the time even if they say they have the same values that I have. And no one would think that opportunity and values are not related. At some point, experience plays into the mix of learning—telling us that we need to continue learning something or that nothing more is necessary to learn. Understanding learning theory makes me a better spiritualist. I realize more every day that each person's track is different from any one else's track. That's liberating. I am responsible for my own motivation, interest, personality, opportunity, and experience. I cannot change any of the 5 for anyone else. I can only control my own track if it lies in the future or present. My only regret is that my past stretches for miles behind me. I just might make it Home if I can retain this information from moment to moment.

Games

People play word games all the time. Speaking with someone yesterday, I heard that person say that a third party was speaking to a group and making a distinction between joy and happiness. The third party was saying that people needed to achieve joy in life, not just happiness. Well, OK. So, I wonder how joy stacks up against gladness or contentedness? Is there a distinction there, too? My eyes see a whole lot of overlap in all the above words.

I heard a group of English teachers speaking earlier in the year. They were fussing over the pair of words wear and where. One group said the words were homophones, the other said the h is pronounced in where and the pair could not be homophones. I'm thinking that regional influence plays such a large part in whether the words are homophones or not that there should be no rule of standard English to intervene.

Of course, both these cases are people's attempts at control and probably egocentric flattery. They depict all too well how we as humans try to assert our wills in places we have no business asserting our wills. The Creator can run the universe. All others might want to just let Him do that and butt out. If I take care of getting myself to the other side of this life, then nothing ultimately (or even minute-by-minute) counts. If I really think that pronouncing where as hwer matters in getting to the other side of life, then I'll do it from here on out. But... And if I really think that joy and happiness are different, then I'll be sure to draw that distinction in my speech in all my future talking. But...

Words reveal so much. Even the games people play. In my attempts to be an honest person, I think I will try to dispense with the games. We all know where the spin zones are. I'll reserve my wordgames for those zones. With everyone else I think I will just generate honest talk.

Redirection

Sometimes events in our lives or words with others take away our ability to live life decently. It is then that we can turn to what comes natural for us. Some call what comes natural a talent, others call it our training. Whatever it is, turning to it helps return the sanity, the even-keeledness to our lives. Translating Greek can do this for me. So it was this morning after words with another and an event transpiring the way I would not have it transpire threw me off my course to live decently. In lieu of attending a speech that might have some value in adjusting my attitude, I turned to translating. I found solace in seeing what someone else in another time and place had said and how he said it. The words translated did not necessarily apply directly to my situation, but they did restore order in my own mind, returning me to a more even-keeled way of thinking. It gave me energy, it told me that I could do one thing in the world well, and it reframed my thoughts to decent status. Sometimes, when I am lonely, I think that translating Greek is something I trained for that had no purpose in my modern world. But, living sanely is purpose enough, even if I find no other avenue for translating. So, I am thankful for knowing a language that can redirect my purposeful living at times.

Lifesongs

Music has been with us a long time. However, it still does everything musicians say it does. It reaches into the depths of the inner soul. We have those songs we listen to so that our inner souls can receive daily refreshment. A ritual a friend of mine and I have once a year is to share songs on a trip. We've been doing it for years. Always, the songs from the trip last until the following year's trip. Then we get a fresh batch of songs and artists. When I need a little time alone or in preparation for a moment of truth with the creator or with someone else, the wise thing for me is to listen to several minutes of songs that have taught me about living and life. I don't know if it is true for everyone, but I know you can chart my character and value system through the songs I've chosen to refresh my inner soul throughout my whole life.

Seasons

It's not a new thought that there are seasons of life. But, I was walking on a sidewalk today behind a couple in their mid 20s, holding hands, kissing, arms embracing. At the same time, I noticed all around us that trees were bare, their leaves clumped beneath them showing that they were dormant and dead for the winter. I had just heard a speech on choosing to build on solid foundation or on sand. A lady was present who had just been given her final days' notice due to her spreading cancer. She appeared to be in her 60s. I came home to my young daughter who is so full of life and idealism. I am reminded of the wisdom of the Jews. "For everything under heaven a season exists. A time to mend; a time to tear apart... A time to for living; a time for dying." A time to kiss; a time to shed leaves. A time to choose solidity; a time to choose sand. A time to meet the Creator from dread disease; a time to bubble with idealism. I guess it is only fitting that such observations and feelings from those observations make me both happy and sad at the same time. Life so slowly eeks away from us (one second at a time) that sometimes it is good to notice the ends of the spectrum. It gives a very needed frame of reference. It tells us where we stand in this world. And it is a sobering moment with the Creator as He reminds us that everything ends. Something in me says the Creator is not saying, "All is well that ends well." Rather, he is saying, "All's well that ends." A time to live well (fully); a time to meet the Maker well (fully). All is well.

Empty drum seat

I developed a picture today. I'm standing at a doorway looking across a room. Halfway across the room is an electronic drum set. The camera is located in the farthest corner from the doorway to capture the whole scene. No one is sitting behind the drum set. The young man who played those drums is absent from this world. He played them so very well, professionally sometimes. But his drum beat is with the Creator now. Clearly as I stood at the doorway, I was looking at the drum seat as if the player was still sitting there. An indescribable anguish causes my human, 3D mind to still want to see the player. But, an underlying ecstasy very quickly follows the anguish. I have to think the void left is filled with someone not far behind in age who will continue drumming, professionally even, while the former player has been freed from living in a world that needs his music. His new residence is in a place where no music is needed to soothe aching souls and miserable minds. I cannot tangibly see him in his new residence anymore than I can see him behind the drum set in the picture. But, I have a better understanding of the Creator and his ways these days and a heightened trust that many rooms exist in His house. I plan on taking the room next to the young drummer.

Pockets

I used the word "waked" today. Someone gently corrected my word to "woke." I did explain that the word had certainly been regularized over time and that some dialects had kept the old form of the past tense. Words in past/perfect tense do change. "Swum" has become "swam;" "dove" and "diven" have both become "dived;" "stricken" has become "struck." However, the person doing the correcting did not have exposure to history of the English language or to other dialects outside of her own. But it certainly reminded me of any other belief I may hold. If I haven't exposed myself to other viewpoints, I probably don't have total truth. Notions are cheap because they have not been plied by experience or research or other people's knowledge. It is so dangerous to live in pockets of little exposure. Ignorance is bliss only if we don't get out much.

To a young lady

I want so much to communicate to you. But I know the impossibility of that chance happening. I just want you to see hope. You seem to feel 10 layers deep under despair and recklessness. God has so much more to offer you. But I can't tell you about God's love because you don't see Him and certainly not me as His conduit. So, I can only hand it to the Creator to work the events in your world to lead you Home. But, I miss your laughter. Perhaps, you are just saving it for those happy times in your life that are yet to come. That is my prayer.

Inspiring connectedness

Connecting with people is not only strengthening but is inspiring as well. I heard today halfway around the world, from Chile. One message was in English, one in Spanish. I needed both messages. One was to inform me of a patented move on God's part, the other an installment of a man's life whom I am getting to know. Both strengthened my faith in humanity and the Creator. Both inspired me to continue doing what I'm doing, for it is rewarding. Events half a world away. I'm not really involved, but then yes I am.

Death's gates

I went to death's gates today. I listened to some music recorded about a year and a half ago by my son who has gone before me to see the father. The strains of the music were every bit the reminder of him that a picture would be. But the music stirred my soul in ways a picture cannot. I felt his fabric in his music. The strains took me right to death's gates so that I could see over them. It was not dark behind the gates as some have depicted the next world. It was bright on the other side, full of inspiration and music and peace. I will soon catch up to my son. But for now, I have inspiration, music, and peace that leak through the gate. And anytime I try to see over the gate into the land it bars me from, I see brilliance, not darkness.

Safe speeds

Say it isn't so—not the movie title but our inability to move through life at safe speeds. I know of a teacher who sometimes chastises students for not updating their knowledge to match their new cognitive stage of maturity. They have a third grade memory of a concept, but a body that is in a high school or college classroom. They need to upgrade their knowledge to high school or college level since their bodies are verification that they really are that age. As we pass from one decade of life to the next or as we progress from one experience of life to the next, I see people continue with an experience level or knowledge level that remains stuck or connected to an experience or knowledge base behind where they have been brought. We resist upgrading. Going to slow (lagging behind) and going to fast (acting ahead of experience) make us dangerous drivers through life. Just as the driving down roads in a car require our close attention to stay alive, so adaptability in life requires equal amounts of attention to drive at safe speeds so that we won't damage ourselves or those around us.

Little Phrases

A colleague commented today on ideas that I had expressed to her. I try hard to speak from a factual base not a notional or conjecture base. She lumped all my ideas together and called them "little theories." She very quickly felt the need to repair her remark. " I didn't mean 'little'," she said. I said I understood, but I lied. Her stray utterance captured her true thought. I fully understand the function of a diminuitive in an utterance. At least now I know where I stand with her. I'm that dreamer whose ideas are impractical or worse, I'm that person who likes to think more highly of himself than he really is. Now I know. God forgive me when I act like that. God forgive her if I am not really that way. God forgive us all because we don't know how to interact with each other genuinely.

Sometimes

The word "sometimes" represents life so well. Life is so much the roller coaster—up on it at times and down on it at others. My life fully reflects the twists and turns, the fastballs, curve balls and sleepers that life produces. The sometimes life is hard to convey to others who want me to show consistency. They, of course also lead a sometimes life, but want more from others. I wish more people understood the somtimes nature of life. A person wouldn't tell a lion not to growl or to become a vegetarian. Why won't people understand the bumpy ride through life that all of us are taking. More understanding is what I would like to see. I would like to see that others know that life is unlike "print-on-demand" publishers. It is like the demanding life of Wall St. brokers. The Dow is up and down—like life—sometimes.

Park walks

Nearly every day I walk twice in the park near my house for a mile and a quarter each time. I look forward to these walks and am generally disappointed if I miss one of the times for some reason or another. This time started about a year ago when I was talking to God about taking my son to be with him. The walks have had healing power in that God has given me an understanding over the last year that I can trust him wholly for knowing how everything fits into the grand scheme. After a year of talking with God about my own understanding, he kindly nudged me to use the time for bringing others in prayer to him. I ask God simply to lead them home to himself. It has been amazing to me to offer people to God so that he can lead them home. I have not really acted in that capacity ever before because I had people to see, places to go. I always thought prayer time was for the infirm or elderly who had scads of time to dedicate to that sort of thing. Certainly I was exempt because I was searching for God in other ways or working hard to present my own children to God through much activity. Nowadays the park walk keeps me going. It gives me good health. It gives me time to say, "Lead me home" to the maker of all. Meeting God in a park walk - nearly every day - has envigorated an otherwise mundane existence. At 20, I would have said, "You're crazy. I don't meet God in parks." At 30, I would have said, "I will raise my children for you by taking them everywhere. At 40, I would have said, "I will be glad to promote God through my own success." At 51, I say, "I look foward to meeting God in the park. The most comfortable I've ever been in my faith is in the park - asking God to lead people home. So be it.

Pools

The pool in my back yard is in great need of maintenance. I plan to get to that in about 3 hours. In the meantime I have to look at the eyesore it has become in the middle of an otherwise nice back yard. My life at this time is analogous to the pool. Right now it is in a little disarray. Years I have worked on this part or that part of my life so that most of the time it is in decent working order. But today I don't see it that way. I plan to get to that also in about 3 hours.

Marriage

My niece is getting married this weekend. She's a beautiful young lady, as all brides are. I shudder to think of all the trouble that she is about to encounter. A person might argue that one encounters trouble married or not and that facing trouble married is better because it is faced by two people rather than one, but I doubt the veracity of that. Her grandparents have had a struggle being married. Her mother has been married 3 times. Her own life up to this point is a struggle in many ways. I wish I knew an answer to the marriage problem. Unfortunately, marriage is not a societal arrangement only. Religion gets involved to the point that monogamy is the only game in town. Well, ABCs special on sex in America claimed that each adult in America has an average of 13 sex partners in his (her) lifetime. All I can say is, "Marriage is long." Good luck niece. Maybe God will give you a better than average American as a husband.

Death throes

A friend of mine died today. He was expected to die. He developed cancer about 8 months ago. Last Friday he slipped into a coma. Today he passed to the next life. I don't know what happens during the throes of the final moments, but I hope that the soul vomits out the troubles of this present world and accepts the bliss of the next world. Jack, a whole crowd of those who have gone before have welcomed you by now. I'll see you soon. Say hi to my son for me.

Convolution

The more the earth spins on its axis, the more it is evident that people look out for themselves. The more one tries to see singularity of truth about anything, the more diversity makes sense. The more people know about others around them (at work and during other places of socialization), the more they appreciate their own viewpoints. Nothing solid exists—everything below one's feet is jello, morphing and dancing to different tunes. I think I have learned that jello is tasty even if it is not solid.

Heart

Metaphors are great for people in understanding concepts quickly. But HEART is one of those metaphors that needs a revamp. Heart is courage, or understanding, or love, or kindness, or gentleness, or ad nauseum. English is big enough to offer a new word for each of the qualities incorporated by HEART. We need to adopt new metaphors because what does it mean when someone says, "Think with your heart, not your head." I know that originated before all the scientific revolution as did all of the meanings of heart mentioned above. Since that revolution, though, we have words like sensitivity if that is what the saying is asking one to have.

I give up. Use worn-out metaphors. Just know that you haven't articulated very well. Eventually you will have to get around to saying what you really meant.

Prayer

There is a lot of prayer whirling around my head lately. I hear it in requests between friends. I hear it in conversations about people's personal lives. But, what prayer exactly is or does esacapes me. I have uttered prayers before. I have read statements by Jesus asking his followers to pray. But in my lifetime, I never have been able to wrap my mind around the concept. Sometimes, I see the correlation between prayer and requests, but many times I don't see this correlation. Sometimes, I see God's intervention in a situation. But many times I see God's answer in the same light as the Supreme Court deciding on whether to take a case or not. Only about 3-5 % of the time does the Supreme Court take a case from an appellate court. So, I am left with many years of finding the patterns behind prayer. So far that endeavor is a dead-end road.

Night

Neil Diamond had a song called Thank the Lord for the Night time. I feel that way. It allows us all to lead a double life. Our image at work is so different from the image at home and alone. The image at work morphs from time to time, but the one at home is ever-changing. It's whatever we want it to be for the moment. It gives us energy to put on the work image the next day. Night time is fabulous.