Families and scatter plots

I've been trying to get a handle on how families interact with each other for a while now. I have very often wondered how someone like Dobson could gather data on what "strong" families do. I'm still looking for the "strong" family.

It seems there is a general principle in life that says that the longer something stays on the earth, the more it weakens or unravels. As I observe all kinds of families I would say that I could chart the characteristics, all right, but that those charactersitics would be plotted on a scatter graph, not in a closed set called "strong." The families I see in my world are all so very different, even the ones who share common beliefs. I see people in a church for instance, who have great individual faith, but have few common interests with their spouses. I see people at work who believe in spending time developing the ideals of the "company" but who never mention their spouses at work, or they mention them in negative contexts. I see pillars of the community who spend a waking hour, maybe 2, at home with their families during the week. I see religious teachers who go to a meal out with their families and say about 50 words the whole time they are in the restaurant.

Then I look at the families in which the parents' children are old enough to have their own young children and who have their own adult lives going on. Where are the joyful times with grandchildren? I see few of them. Where are the visits when fathers and sons-in-law sit and talk about life in general or interests they have whether or not the interests are in common? When are the visits taking place between mothers and daughters-in-law that create the familial bonds? Where are the grandchildren who see their grandparents willingly? I'm thinking life has a way of unraveling.

A coworker of mine recently had several calls from her family on a given day at the end of which (and repeated a week later) the statement was made, "I've had it with my dysfunctional family!" Of course, that's why we all have an empty spot to fill with the Great Teacher's values, one of which is the need to be rescued from the general principles of life. But at least I know better than to look around for families that have "strong" characteristics. I just know how to interact within the family bonds I was born into and within the family bonds I established or that were born to me and invite the Good Master in for the rescue if life goes long enough for the family bonds to unravel.

When the season calls for it

A creek rippled by at the foot of 30' drop from the balcony of the cabin I stayed in. You could hear it in the quiet moments of the day and during the night. Not far from the cabin a dry tributary joined with the creek. It was about 15' across where it connected. It looked inviting, so I decided to take a walk up the dry creek bed to see where it would lead. The bed wandered uphill in a winding fashion, but it was fairly flat so walking was easy. The tributary narrowed the farther uphill I walked. About 100 yards up, the bed was only a small jump across. It suddenly bent almost 90 degrees and went curvingly up the side of mountain. It was dry there too all the way till it vanished out of sight. The width up the mountain could not have been more than 2' across.

I stopped to muse what the vision might mean. It was just a dry creek bed, but I could not help but think that the scene had a deeper meaning for me. I stared back down the mountain at the path I had taken to come uphill this far trying to see a message, but to no avail. I retraced my steps continuing in thought. Thoughts began trickling into my conscious awareness, "Tributaries bring reinforcement water to the stream below it. Tributaries help drain the mountain of unnecessary water. Tributaries are seasonal, swelling for use when they are needed."

It was this last point that my mind stuck on. There was my message. I don't know that my life is as dry as the stream bed, but the scene begged for the meaning of the tributary's seasonal nature. Finally, the thought formed. In due time, when the season calls for it, once again you will be able to offer something of value to the greater whole or to someone who needs it.

My message was clear. I could leave the scene behind. I had a tip for living from nature itself for which I was thankful.

A definite occasion for mouthwash

I suppose I have some opinions of what should happen in a class whether it be an English class, a linguistics class, a foreign language class, or a Bible class. Here's the list: start with a premise or principle, capsule the direction of the next # of minutes, put in place the ideas that form the direction, back up the ideas with experience or research or facts, elaborate on the ideas with stories (anecdotal data) or experimental data to match. If conjecture is made, then know where the areas of the conjecture are weak and allow for some debate since the conjecture is not completely fleshed out.

A month ago I was invited to go to a class because "it allowed for discussion, and it contained ideas that were not orthodox." The person who invited me is a good friend and really believed I would enjoy it. So, I went. Nearly everything that happened in the class did not fit the list created above. Naturally, I felt that it had been a waste of time. But out of deference to my friend, I went a second time. This time it was worse.

Anyone can moderate a class if all the person does is spew one notion after another. We all have notions, sometimes well founded, sometimes ill founded. Name a subject, people have opinions or notions. But, if I go to a "class," I have this expectation that it should be for learning, not for listening to someone spew notions. I won't go back. This class is not for learning. As good a listener as I want to be for others, the circumstance for my listening is not going to be in a "class" in which learning should take place.

I realize that others have different ideas of what a "class" should entail. So, I will let the experience of the last couple of classes fall under that category - a difference in definition of terms. The "teacher's" definition for a "class" was just different from mine. His list of characteristics would not match the list I gave in the first paragraph at all. I'll just chalk it up to a misjudgment on my part for choosing to attend. But it sure leaves a bad taste in the mouth. That's what mouthwash is for.