True nature has many colors

Howard Gardner is one of the favorites of the education industry because of his theory put forth at the beginning of the 1990s addressing genius.  He used art in order in order to prove a point about how genius in children undergo a tapering off and many times disappearance after about age 13 or 14.  The genius in the same area of art recurs later in life in a heightened or perfected form in many of the same people that manifested the genius as a child.  This is known as the U curve.

It began as an observation, but then the idea took off.  Many other psychologists tried quantifying this U curve in art and other fields.  Particularly, psychometrists in education thought this would be worthy of exploration.  The U curve was found to be the result in many different areas, not only art.  So, a hypothesis was formulated for experimentation and observation in the field of intelligence.  Thus was born the theory of multiple intelligences.  Gardner also jumped in the pursuit of applying the U curve and its related findings to intelligence in general, not specifically for education.  His idea was outlined in the book  Frames of Mind.

The theory has had time to be tested over a couple of decades, so of course, it has attracted both praise and critique.  Educators were enamored with the idea and tried hard between 1995 and 2005 to integrate it into a larger learning theory.  But, it fell by the wayside after 2005.

Multiple Intelligence Theory (MI as it has come to be called) could help education tremendously.  Not because intelligence is the key word (since intelligence doesn't really exist), but because it would help teachers to see the true nature of knowledge.  Knowledge manifests itself everywhere and in different forms.  The discipline of learning from some of the core subjects helps in accumulating knowledge in an area a student really desires to know more about.

MI died a quick death in education, not because it couldn't be applied, but because it is antithetical to the notion of uniformity.  Schools are driven not by education but by testing.  Testing scales children's scores and causes standards to be written in cookie-cutter fashion so that curriculum for the schools can be designed for further testing.  Uniformity thrives in that environment, not MI.

MI and theories like it will endure, however, while testing for uniformity will have a shelf life.  People will not be bound by what shows on a test.  They will follow their ambitions, their paths driven by the intrinsic motivation of ideas not found in the four walls of schoolrooms, and their opportunities powered by the extrinsic incentive of prestige, money, and power.  There is so much more hope and contentment for the individual and for humanity as a whole when people are allowed to explore what is possible rather than be compelled to see only what is scorable.

An expletive moment

I contemplated the call a while before I made it.  I knew what I wanted to say.  I knew it would be a defining moment.  My life's path had come to a Y.  Both sides of the Y held change for me.  But I wanted a particular destiny for my future, a particular branch of the split in the Y. The person on the other end answered but it was an inconvenient time and commented wanting to continue our brief conversation later.  Done deal.

But I didn't get to help define the moment I had waited for.  The call didn't come, so I didn't get to continue the conversation.  The side of the split in the Y I had wanted to change became my straight line choice.  But for the number of hours I had wanted to continue my phone conversation, I was already anticipating moving down the side of the Y I had truly, earnestly desired.  It was certainly an expletive moment, but I had to move right on down the straight line choice available to me.  Done deal.

All of us have branching paths that show up in our lives.  We'd like to think that we could help to make the decision for the branch of the Y we most desire to travel down.  But things happen.  Something restrains a call from being made.  And what we thought was a Y becomes a straight line to travel, no decision necessary.

Whenever I think of that moment, I utter the same expletive.  How I wanted to discuss my main business for calling!  Things would be very different now... and expletiveless.

Maybe the side of the Y I so desired is even now available to happen.  What an expletive moment that would be.  The expletive in that moment would sure be different... as would my life.  And I would unhesitatingly, instantly make it a done deal!

Daily gift

The drive to work today was pretty routine.  But there is nothing routine about looking at the sides of the road and seeing the great beauty of rolling hills and meadows, and a little farther, the forests hiding most of the modern buildings.  At one point a ramp connecting two major highways is above the tree level and gives one the view of miles of forest dotted with restaurants and office complexes.

The ramp descends onto a highway that follows an adjacent park for at least two miles.  The park has frisbee golf, baseball diamonds carved inside of surrounding trees, walking paths, picnic tables, and a creek the length of the park.  This time of year, a person can add the absolute magnificence of the turning leaves, yellow, red and lime green in hue.  It's stunning and striking... everyday.  It's a great gift to experience this scene daily.  It certainly lifts a spirit at low ebb.

You've got to be kidding

It's like this.  If you tell people something is so for a long enough time, enough people will believe it is so, and a new "fact" is born.

People use only 10% of their brains.

Xmas is used by those who would take Christ out of Christmas.

Summers are hot because it is the season when the Earth is closest to the sun.

Bumblebees should not be able to fly.

Sugar causes children to become hyperactive.

All of the above "facts" are not true.  But, they have been around for quite some time.  And because they have existed for a long time, that is proof enough for many people that the information is true.  "We wouldn't still be thinking it if it weren't true," people say.

Add to this list the "fact" that the ability to read shows greater intelligence.  Two ideas have made this statement possible.  First, there is such a thing as intelligence (so that it can be measured).  Second, good readers have better language "skills" than those who are not good readers.  And, if a person can show that connecting these facts by saying one is an indicator of the other (reading is indicative of higher intelligence), then... voila!... a fact is born.  This particular idea has been in circulation for only 4 generations, but it seems like forever.

First, intelligence has never been proven to exist, and measuring intelligence is really suspect since results rely on responses to logic based on learned written representations for both math and language.  And second, reading consists of correlating sounds to letters or to particular patterns of letters (like the use of silent e to influence a "long" vowel sound), so one has to learn the correlation system in addition to the language they have learned.

The English sound/letter correlation system is a ridiculous system when it is analyzed and requires a skill that is unrelated to learning a language only through hearing.  For example, played and heard should be spelled the same way based on their sound: d to represent the past tense.  But, one has to learn the spelling of a regular verb using the suffix -ed and the spelling of an irregular verb not using the regular suffix of -ed even though the sound is exactly the same.  Ridiculous.  Scandalous really.  Imagine trying to explain to beginners that learning the same d sound for two words signifying tense draws on two categories (regular and irregular) based on a correlation system that is inconsistent at best (irrational according to some definitions of that word).

Well, so be it.  The same people who want to use only 10% of their brains, who don't know the Christian history for the Greek letter "X" (chi), and feel hotter during the summer because they are so close to the sun can just go on believing that the practice of forcing people to learn a flawed, inconsistent, erratic, and less than easily understood sound/letter correlation system leads to greater success in life.  If reading were essential to language development, communication would suffer without it.

Then again... those in education who espouse testing to show progress and intelligence do think that.

Those whose science is language, however, have another category for it.  It's the bumblebees weren't designed to fly category.

Shifting into a paradigm, shifting out

I have heard a great number of people promote the great and wonderful attributes of reading and writing.  There is no doubt that the two have advanced the cause of knowledge accumulation in the world no matter what the language.  In fact, the two had become a currency among those trained in the two disciplines during the BCE epoch and among educated people since the Middle Ages.

But something happened after World War I with reading and writing.  They began to be confused with language development.  With the rise of the use of psychology as a profession and its ideas about intelligence (tested through the military), the two processes suddenly were tell-tale signs of language development.  After World War II, the application of psychology to intelligence testing continued to grow and was linked to the manifestation of language through reading and writing.

Education after World War II also changed.  Mandatory attendance was enacted, and suddenly, for the first time ever, nearly all children in the U.S. were exposed to a higher level of education than they had received in the country's almost two hundred year history.  But the lines were confused; reading and writing were no longer merely a currency of educated people.  They had slowly but surely become the tool of psychology to represent language development, and thus, an indicator of intelligence.  Ridiculous and crazy ideas resulted, such as the correlation between extensive vocabulary and high intelligence.  For the record, there is a positive correlation (and a higher positive correlation) between music ability and high intelligence, but the schools won't mandate all students to learn reading music.

Reading became a focus at that point, and by the 1970s, an entire new field had sprung up.  Much research began to be done only on reading ability and how it could, would, and should be developed for every child.  The schools became the vehicle to carry out the research, and subsequently, the schools were the vehicle to institute the results of that research.

But, those who are the language scientists had been left out of the loop.  Those scientists knew that language development and reading and writing were separate creatures, not the same, and that reading development didn't really represent language development nor did writing development represent a person's ability to organize and express complex thinking.

What has resulted is a public that thinks the ability to read and write well is the same as language development.  So parents push their children to read at an early age, even before school if at all possible.  And parents of school children get worried when their children let their speech habits interfere with the so-called clearer thinking process of writing.

Fortunately, technology will show the truth that language development is not bound up in reading and writing in about 10 more years.  It will lead the public from their fallacious thinking by permitting several other avenues to be equal vehicles for expressing thought that is clear, organized, and complex.  That will allow language development to turn back to what the genes bring to a person in the first place.  Then, parents can follow their children's development using criteria truly related to language, not related to the overlay of reading or writing runes in books as thought throughout the 1900s and the first decade of the 2000s.

Begging the question

The genes pack a lot of information, and for sure they pack information about when a person will begin speaking.  But, the genes don't know what country you are born in, so they really can't give you language.  It is curious that children all over the world begin speaking at about the same age no matter what language they are born into.  Yes, curious and amazing.

Sound production starts early, and meaningful speech starts between 9 and 14 months for single words and about 24 months for the two word utterance stage.  From there the development is not uniform for either vocabulary development or syntactic awareness.  The learning is rather ragged.

So, if learning is ragged but the stages happen at nearly the same time across the world, then it would appear that there is a genetic latitude in how a person learns language.  From 2 years old until the age of 6, children learn all the basics of the language they have been born into.  They have learned the basic sentence structure such as any order of the words, any changes to words manifested in tones, expressions that seem to have stock phrase status, and a vocabulary that represents everything utilitarian in their worlds.

That does beg the question of what formal education brings to the equation.

Formalizing or codifying language through reading and writing might be an obvious answer .  But, if that process is a function of language acquisition, then one would expect the same raggedness to continue.  If the process is, however, treated as a function of knowledge accumulation, then I suppose the expectation for the results changes.  Input and outcomes of the two processes, such as determining a foundation to build on in a step-by-step manner, measuring the outcomes, and adding steps one year at a time in a predetermined learning environment implies a rather uniform result, not the raggedness of the natural or genetically controlled language process.

I would definitely not be an advocate of formalizing a language process that genetics controls.  For one, genetically controlled personality controls the other contribuitng factors to language growth: interest, rapport with peers and adults, and intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

It would be an endeavor equivalent to harnessing the weather.

I would still bring the question of what formal education could possibly bring to the equation.

Born from conversation

A recent commercial for Acura ends its script by saying, "We welcome the comments of critics.  Innovation is born from conversation."

In designing cars this is true.  When the car industry began designing cars in the 1970s that carried the suggestions of women, certain innovations appeared: mirrors on the underside of visors, reading lights for passengers and for the backseat, cupholders between the seats, and steering wheels that adjusted downward for easier control by a generally shorter population than men.  When they listened to the voices of handicapped people, floor switches for brightening or dimming lights changed from the floor to the blinker handle and gear shift handles that wouldn't move from park unless the brake was depressed.

I don't know that "critics" is the best choice of words for this commercial, but the idea is right and results in better vehicles.  It is the same idea that works for humans.  The ancient Hebrews had a proverb, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person makes another sharper."  It is the same principle as for Acura that gives us change in our own lives.  When we listen to what is said, we know how to improve particular nuances of our lives.

And perhaps, the people we are closest to, those sharing our most personal moments, create more innovation in us than critics. We innovate our lives, renovate our thinking, sometimes our habits, because we talk and like what we hear and make adjustments, which makes us better people.  That's what compatibility produces in our lives.  We need those who see our facades and whims, our deepest values and genuine inclinations, to engage us in conversation.  We'll be better... and happier... and much more productive, enthusiastic, and vibrant... and loving.

Slice of Americana

History tells of the main and important events in a society.  But, it is left to biography to record what is happening with people.  Here is a snapshot  of modern America capsulized by a family of 4 sisters.

Sister A was born to her mother when her mom was 18 and her father was 21.  Over the next 21 years, the father would drink alcohol to his heart's content and come home each day angry at his wife and kids.  Sister A knew nothing else than a father's wrath during her childhood.  Her mother was very young to begin with and had no clue how to deal with alcoholism.  So, she became very hardened as an individual after 21 years of living in the crucible of rage from a husband's alcoholism.  Sister A, then, knew nothing else than a mother's strict, and many times unreasonable, set of rules which the mother instigated as a coping mechanism not to have her children step out of line and rock the boat with their father.  Immediately upon leaving home, she lived a life of bar hopping and finding love in all the wrong places.  She married a young man who burned her with cigarettes and abused her in other ways.  They divorced within a year.  A couple of years later she remarried and remained committed to that husband.

Sister B was born 5 years later than her sister.  She also grew up in a house of rage and rules.  Behavior outside the rules was dealt with by harsh razor strap whippings of the father and hair brushes across the face by the mother.  Immediately upon leaving home, she went to college, decided to marry someone she thought was stable, finished college, and began a job.  But, she couldn't stay away from men who offered her a good time, and had more short and long affairs than the number of years of her marriage regardless of the anniversary year of her marriage.  Much of her adult life was spent in alcoholism too.

Sister C was born 5 years later than Sister B, 10 years behind Sister A.  In that decade, the interaction of the parents deteriorated further.  The mother was so consumed with coping with her own sanity that much of the time Sister C was able to do things against the rules without being caught.  She grew resentful of the home life and rebelled in many secretive ways against what was happening on the order of sneaking out to meet with friends and boyfriends.   Upon leaving home, she immediately married.  That marriage ended in divorce inside of  a year and a half.  A second marriage followed in a few months, only to end in divorce about 3 years later.  A live-in boyfriend filled the next 9 months or so.  Finally, she married a third time, deciding to commit to this marriage.

Sister D was born three years after Sister C.  By this time, conditions had begun to stabilize, only because the mother had found Alanon, but they were still poor for the 4 girls and the mother.  None of the daughters could feel free to invite friends over.  Sister D felt very isolated and overlooked by her mother.  She noticed all the rules and rage and their effects on her 3 older sisters.  She became shy and extremely withdrawn.  The few friends she had were also withdrawn from their own family situations.  Upon  leaving home, she completed three years of college and married her junior year because she thought she was pregnant.  She remained married to her husband, but had a hard time keeping a job because she would go through a cycle of finding a job, working for a few months, becoming disenchanted with it, then quitting.  She went through about 10 jobs the same way.


All of the sisters have 3 common characteristics that are manifested from their upbringing.  In the realm of general communication, they have to consciously decide that they will communicate with friends, coworkers, and in particular, each other.  They will delay or ignore answering a call, text, email, or Facebook message until they are mentally ready to continue the communication.  The socialization process for communication had apparently been  disrupted.

A second characteristic is their way of dealing with matters of time, such as schedules and deadlines. Family holiday gatherings posed particular problems.  Sister A decided to walk in late to most events.  Sister B has to "psyche up" before attending events.  Sister B decided to limit the number of events she attends and mostly stays at home.  Sister D will only attend events on her own terms or in her own timing, frequently attending events only under certain conditions or by showing up an hour after it was scheduled to start.  She prefers to be wholly spontaneous in life.

And finally, depression touches each of the sisters.  The first deals with it by being around people nearly all the time.  The second will tell you that she has been depressed her entire adult life and has taken depression medicine for at least 30 years.  The third takes a plethora of drugs and tries both homeopathic remedies and prescribed drugs for her bouts with depression.  The fourth sister changes antidepressants ever so many years, has fought suicidal thoughts, and has undergone counseling for a number of years.

And what about the children of these sisters.  Each sister had a boy and girl, except Sister C who had two daughters and a son.  Sisters A and B lost their sons before adulthood, one to suicide, one to disease.  The daughters of all four sisters went through a period of heavy drinking during high school and shortly thereafter, and had multiple sexual relationships.  All the daughters are currently married except the daughter of Sister D who has sworn off marriage.  The two remaining sons, of Sister C and Sister D, are quite opposite.  One has married and divorced, the other has sworn off marriage like his sister.

There is another generation below these children.  It's a little early to tell how they will turn out.  But it will be interesting to see what the trickle down effect will be.  Yes, history records events, but it leaves out the pulse of the individuals involved in the events.  Seeing how people react to life is a kind of history in itself.  These sisters have exhibited a curious mix of the role of personality, environmental conditioning, and opportunity.  Following the children of the sisters will be equally interesting.  And their children?  Ah-h-h, fascinating indeed.

A nice switch

The aunt that always gave me the impetus to be free-minded and to seek answers from some rather unorthodox places came to town last Thursday.  I was able to visit with her for a number of hours on Saturday.  She's 90 and still very alert although her health is beginning to fail.  I told her I credited her with teaching me to seek fo higher levels than what appears on the surface.

We talked of many subjects.  Some of the conversation was about the family past, hers, mine, and ours.  She always had clarity about how life seemed to go for her.  I have loved the wisdom she has exuded over the years.

It was fitting that I should get to follow a day in paradise with a day to remind myself of where I started.  There has been a certain calmness in my soul this weekend... a real switch from the restlessness of late.

A drive into paradise

The drive is about 50 minutes from my house.  It's freeway all the way, however, so it is a pleasant drive.  The closer I get to my destination the more beautiful the scenery becomes.  About halfway there the hills start.  In fact, that part of the drive is named in Spanish for its colinas, its rolling hills.  Not much farther the trees thicken on the hills into sheer forests.  Oh it's beautiful.

And this day I was needing this drive as therapy in the worst way.  Some days I just need to talk.  My good linguist friend lives in apartments in a forest of trees on the grounds of the Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics,  The paths, many of which are natural, wind in and around the trees with benches and picnic tables scattered along them.  This particular day was a perfect 72 degrees with no wind and smelled fresh from an afternoon downpour that lasted about 30 minutes.  He and I walked to one of the tables to spend the next two hours just talking.

Serene is only one attribute of the setting.  Rich is another.  The people that walked by the tables were all people who have committed a considerable  number of years to the study of languages around the world.  They all have a story to tell for they all have given up so much to live outside the U.S. to work in hostile environments or in 3rd world settings.  So sitting among a mixture of oaks and cedars and pines, I felt a certain reverence for the place.

We talked for 2 1/2 hours about a wide range of subjects, but mostly language related ones.  My friend and I have been friends since we met at a different campus years ago and had a class or two together.  Our personal paths in life are pretty similar, so the conversations we have are always comfortable, honest, and full of what we have encountered in our respective jobs.  For now, he is on furlough from Nigeria, so I got to hear stories from another continent.

The main thing is, I guess, that I needed 2 1/2 hours of therapeutic listening and talking in such a serene and rich setting that delivered peace to my inner soul, enhanced by the talk of Nigeria, conferences, other friends in their respective countries, and some of their stories.

It's a beautiful thing to drive home from such a pocket of time.  It was as if I had wined and dined with a king who lived in paradise.  The food and wine for the soul renewed a soiled spirit and harried heart.

Fill the cup

The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam is a really long and convoluted poem.  During the first three fourths of the 1900s, it was fashionable to read this work.  It was what sophisticates did.  Things in education have changed a whole lot so that now students don't even know the name of this once esteemed classic.  It really doesn't lend itself to being tested using current standards, and it is most certainly not good practice for what appears on a state exam.

But, it had a certain wisdom among its lines that wasn't obfuscated by words that people don't normally read.  In fact, if one were to read the lines for a recurring message, this is the message that would surface.

        Ah, fill the Cup:---what boots it to repeat

       How Time is slipping underneath our Feet:

       Unborn TO-MO.RROW, and dead YESTERDAY,

       Why fret about them if TO-DAY be sweet!  (Canto 38)

I invite people to read again the lines of the Rubaiyat's cantos.  It inspires one to live in the day, in each of its moments... to let loose, to live, to enjoy... to love deeply, to not waste time without the one you love.

        Ah Love! could thou and I with Fate conspire

          To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,

          Would not we shatter it to bits---and then

          Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!  (Canto 73)

It's time to conspire and shatter and remold  in order to live and enjoy and    love deeply!

About 1 in 4

I was around 3 groups of people today.  They were very different groups.  The first group, the early morning group, was a group of 4 women who didn't have to work although a couple of them worked part time to keep them occupied.  The second group was a mixed-sex college group.  They were all very interested in what was happening on computer monitors (for leisure, not for work or course assignments).  And the third was a group of two, one woman, one man, the woman twice the age of male.

All faced their own set of challenges.  All had obligations.  All had relatively stable lives for the moment although some had had some traumatic ripples in their pasts.  Everyone of them seemed determined to accomplish the goal that had brought their group together.  I know the percentages for accomplishment, however, for these groups is 25%.  That's sad in a way.  But, the numbers have been constant a long time.

I was thinking how sad that was when it dawned on me that my own success rate for accomplishment was around 1 in 4 also.  Well, there you go.  I'm no better and no worse than anyone else.  Call it the law of averages.  And just when I was counting blessings and feeling lucky.

Then again, I think I need to be satisfied and content with that number, 1 in 4.

And if someone is thinking that I am being rather pessimistic, then I refer that person to the life of Abraham Lincoln who had a 25% success rate for various offices he ran for and for tragedies in his own life.  It's just that the events that made up the 25% of his successful accomplishments happened to include the highest office of the nation.

Or I refer that person to the life of Nelson  Madela whose 25% only happened after 27 years of living on a small island off the coast of South Africa, sleeping in a 6 feet by 6 feet barred cell, disgraced.  Of course, now everyone knows his name.

Or to the life of Stephen King whose father left his family at a young age, whose mother provided very little money and opportunity for anything great to happen, who later became an English major but couldn't get a job immediately after graduation as an English teacher, and who had a severe alcohol problem for 10 years after college.  It so happened that his 25% accomplishment in life was knowing how to write a scary story.  Only his family remembers his really poverty-ridden childhood and his terrible, horrific alcoholic decade.  Very few know that he plagiarized stories from movies, sold his stories and had to return the money to customers when he was found out.  Well, now people remember his 25%.

Or to the life of William Shakespeare whose 25% didn't come from being part owner of the troubled, but storied Globe Theater and didn't come from acting in a number of acting troupes trying to find one that used his talent and that would pay him more than a pittance for acting and didn't come from a successful marriage and didn't come from impressing the Poet Laureate of England with his poetic abilities.  He just happened to cash in on Edward DeVere's status of being anathema to the queen of England, Elizabeth I.  Lucky him - to have the same name as the pseudonym for DeVere who wrote 37 world class plays (spelled differently, but the same name) and couldn't publish under his own name for fear of his life... Yes, lucky Billy Shakspere.

1 in 4, I'm thinking, is not bad.

Where the day takes you

A movie came out 20 years ago called where the day takes you.  It was a stream of consciousness movie about teenagers who had nothing really to live for.  They were merely drifting through life.  It showed them staying home from school most days of the week.  They would meet at one or the other's house to  smoke marijuana or to shoot heroine into their veins.  Several of them died.  The point of the movie was to show the absolute dejection that modern (ca. 1994) youth felt.

Today I was in my favorite Starbucks getting my usual hot chai tea latte.  I noticed a sign that was advertising some of their specialty coffees.  It read: Refreshing. Everywhere your day takes you.  My immediate thought was the association of the expression to the title of the movie that showed the utter listlessness of our youth.  But, then, I realized the sign was about me or whoever would be drinking this specialty coffee.  Whew, what a relief.  I knew I wasn't listless or dejected nor was anyone I knew.  The point of the sign was to convey that you could drink it now and later and any other time you needed a lift.  Help for your day was a sip away.  But, then, that's the same message as the movie, right?

Well, I could be depressed by drinking that specialty coffee.  Fortunately, I don't drink coffee, and my day takes me to work every day where I have a very definite purpose for being there.  I'm not drifting and dejected.  Life could be better, but it could be a whole lot worse for sure.  My nights rejuvenate me for the morning.  I wake refreshed, no matter where my day goes.  And it goes to a place I really like to work.  And it goes to my phone's MP3 app at night that plays Up on the Ridge, Come a Little Closer, Feel that Fire, Pretty Amazing Grace, Everything I Do, With or Without You, Run, Run, Run, I Hear the Sound of Your Voice, and many others selections that refresh me.  And, my day goes by the place of my dreams, too.  It goes there often.  And, it's refreshing every time I am taken there.

I'm going there now, as a matter of fact.  Refreshing. Every time I'm taken there.

Take me back.  Refreshing!!!

The discipline of success

The New England Patriots played this afternoon.  The score went back and forth throughout the game, so it was unclear near the end who was going to win.  Brady was his usual self - always poised, always positive, always disciplined, always working to effect a win.  The Patriots  happened to have the ball in the waning seconds of the game.  They needed a touchdown to win; a field goal wouldn't win the game.  They basically had to travel 80% of the length of the field to win.

So Brady - always poised, always positive, always disciplined, never quitting, had time to throw about 5 or six passes if they could make a couple of first downs .  He navigated downfield on 3 passes and then had only enough time for about four last passes.  The first one was exactly on target but dropped.  The second one was perfectly thrown to the receiver's hands, but he dropped the ball too.  A lot of quarterbacks would enter desperation mode at that point, but not Brady.  The third pass was completed for a first down and a few yards extra.  So, with only enough time for one pass and about 20% of the field in front of him, Brady dropped back to pass - poised, positive, disciplined, and working for the win.  The ball was exactly on target for the fourth time, right in the hands of the receiver in the corner of the end zone.  All the receiver had to do was to hold on to the ball and take two small steps in bounds before running out of the end zone for a Patriot win.

Oh yes, he did. Game over.  Patriots won.  Lovely, I couldn't help but let out a whoop.  

Brady epitomizes for me what it takes to be successful.  He has a fantastic work ethic, but there's more to it than that.  He knows that with proper execution the ball goes exactly where you throw it, and receivers catch it time after time.  Every practice is about execution.  Every play leads to the next well executed play, one after another, in order to have a lead,  and every touchdown leads to the next because they are executed the same way.  I hope that is the way I will be viewed after my record is complete - poised, positive, disciplined, and always working to effect success.

Even Brady loses now and then.  But no one really remembers those games since there are so many of the other kind.  I count on people looking at the big picture for me as well, seeing four qualities that saw me through lean times and characterized the many good times.

Just looking around

When it comes to capturing language in its natural form, you really have to be a fly on the wall in order to capture it.  I am reminded of the early work of William Labov when it comes to trying to find out what the language of the people really is.  He would go to department stores like Macy's and ask questions.  After the people he was asking left, he would record their answers.  By so doing, he captured some interesting results and made a name for himself.   Some recognize him as the father of sociolinguistics.

This last week I was eating at a restaurant I had eaten in only one other time.  I was eating alone, so I decided to notice who was at the 9 tables immediately around me.  One table had a group of 5 men having lunch.  They were all in their 70s, I would say.  Their conversation flowed rather well among the 5.  There were never any long pauses or awkward silences.  They talked of trips they had taken for the most part.  Next to their table was a couple of women.  One looked to be in her early 30s, the other in her 50s.  They also were engaged with each other for the whole time I was there.  They talked of their children and the schools they were going to.

Then, there was the young man in the corner.  He was in his mid to upper 20s,  He sat at his table alone, but he was using his phone to read material (news perhaps) and to communicate by texting.  Next to him was a table of 3 women, one of whom was deaf.  The entire time the language was in silent signing, but it went on without a break.  At the table next to mine were 3 men, one in his 40s probably, the other two were younger around 30 maybe.  They spoke of their work and the people they worked with the whole time.  There were some pauses for topic changes or extensions, but nothing awkward or lengthy.

Only one table had a mixed gender couple.  The two looked like they were husband and wife in that they seemed extremely comfortable with each other.  Silences were the order of the day for them.  It didn't seem to bother them too much.  Some of the literature on mixed gender conversations concludes that women do the conversational work in such situations.   But, at this table the woman  was equally as silent as the man.  Probably they conversed about 60 or 70% of the time.  But, they had some notable amounts of time without talking.

I wish I could sit around and observe 100 such restaurants.  Then I would write up the results.  I would bet there would be some surprises.  If I were to write my hypothesis after only one visit to the research den, however, I would say that men and women talk equally as much in same sex conversations.  The big trouble is with mixed sex talking.

I would love to see the transcript of the table conversations between men and women.  I would almost bet that the conversations derive from the personalities of the conversants and are not often guided by topics and interruptions like the literature on such conversations would have people believe.  I wish that would be true because then it would spur the psychology community to look more closely at personality and at its influence on mixed gender conversation.  I also wish that would be true because then compatibility could be more easily gauged between people and two people would have much more to say to each other.

Looking to be twice struck

I was eating supper at Wendy's.  At the table diagonal to me, a young man was speaking to a woman twice his age.  I couldn't tell if the woman was his mother, but the young man was at great ease with her.  The proximity of our tables was close, so I overheard every word the young man said.  He spoke about several subjects, and in typical male conversational style, he spoke of things that were not personal in nature, but of things that were interesting to him in his external world, such as the plot of a novel and the interesting parts of an episode of a TV show he was following.  The woman was kind enough to show interest.  Whether or not she truly was interested is a different story.  But, she at least was kind enough to indulge the young man.

I dwelt on a couple of thoughts while the young man was talking (and talking).  The first was that when the young man was talking about the novel he found interesting, I was listening to what he thought was of interest to him.  I am in the middle of writing a novel myself, so I am keenly aware that people have a variety of points of attraction.  I wanted to know if what I had written would be of interest to this young man.

I say I am "writing" a novel.  Well, my linguist friend often chides me because he says it is so ironic that I have been saying that writing and reading are disappearing, yet I continue using that mode of communication to entertain and inform.  Point taken - but this novel is different.  I am using 3 different modes in its construction.  We'll see how it goes when it is finished.

The second thought was that the older woman really listened well to the young man.  She didn't judge his comments, which she easily could have done because his comments were value driven.  She participated in the conversation with him, extending what he said with interesting comments of her own.

Wow, do I miss that.  Intermittently I have a conversation in which people participate with me or I with them.  It happens rarely, and I miss it.  I tire of the judgmental, many times accusatory, conversations that make up the conversations outside of work.

There was a time not that long ago when I anticipated with great enjoyment the conversations I would have outside of work, conversations with laughter, excitement, and energy.  I am always looking to the horizon for the storm that will bring the lightning that strikes twice in that same exact spot.  I've heard that lightning does that.