In need of earmarks

The day was hectic. About half of what should have been done got done. Time ran out. In the middle of the day, when it was apparent that not all would get done, I took a trip to a small outdoor walking park that is filled with pine trees and flowers. It's a sanctuary because it has all the earmarks of the Creator there - life, beauty, tranquility. I needed all 3 qualities today. The scene immediately calmed me - that's what the Creator of tranquil moments does best. Amidst the storm, a calm energy settled my spirit so that the rest of the day went smoothly for me, mentally at least. I was saved yet again from getting off the path that leads home.

Not breaking faith

Sometimes my sleep is disturbed with waking hours. This happens rarely. But, when it happens, I nearly always know that God is asking me to do something for him. I usually begin by praying, and if that is not what I find that He wants, then I read, thinking that my eyes will read what is needed for me to act upon.

Well, that happened the other night. The reading part is what God led me to. Prayer was not what God was asking for. But my reading was about apocalyptic literature. And not about Bible apocalypses, but the pseudapigraphical ones. Of course, apocalypses were written in times of oppression to let the believers know that if they did not lose faith, God would act.

At my workplace, oppression of the sort that pits good against evil is running rampant. So, God wanted me to just let my immediate supervisor know that God would act if she would just keep faith that He would act. She's a little impatient. But, God will do the acting because he hates evil more than we humans do. And when He acts... just reference the Elijah vs. Prophets of Baal story. Vintage God.

Hallelujah

While attending Oklahoma Christian College as a fresman, I heard a rumor around campus that a professor couldn't teach there unless he or she signed a statement acknowldging that the 1st 11 chapters of Genesis were literal. I didn't understand the ramifications of signing such a statement because I was just out of high school. And truly, I couldn't believe that someone could believe some other way than the literal interpretation of the 1st 11 chapters of Genesis.

By the time I was in my late 20s, I was hearing and reading about a flood story that the Sumerians had written that predated the Genesis material. It was at that point that I began doing timelines and reading archaeological and historical books about the ancient time periods. Then, I understood the dating of the Biblical books much better. During my 30s then, I had to come to a different understanding of the Bible. I also encountered a very different way of knowing how the Bible itself was put together through a theory called JEPD, after the names for God and the priestly ways of preserving the law. After translating a number of books of the New Testament, gaining a perspective of the influence of manuscript traditions, and discovering linguistic principles about the multiple meanings of words, I had to shift away from the literal interpretation of the Bible.

I went through my 40s learning more and continually shifting and shifting away from ideas such as inspiration of the Bible if it meant, as I had been trained as a youth, God's actual thinking through the hands of the humans involved in penning the books. I was finally able to see that if Genesis had been written around 1300 BCE and the Sumerian flood story had been written about 3000BCE, then it appeared that at the very least, the Hebrews had been transmitting stories from one generation to the next for 1000 years. About 1/2 way through that time span, Abram migrated from Sumeria (at least from the upper Mesopotamian area). God revealed himself to Abram, so the name of the maker of the flood and the causes were different, but the other details had been left intact. I finally understood what Oklahoma University had asked their professors to declare. By this time in my life, I also knew that I would never have been able to sign such a declaration. Even the Garden of Eden stories now had Sumerian prototypes. The names for God were different, but much of the story had been left as the Hebrews presented it hundreds of years later.

Just recently I ran across some information in a documentary that served as a crowning proof that any of the great stories of the Bible had literal value. The Garden of Eden was the topic of the documentary. It was interesting and plausible. But with 10 minutes left in the program, the editors of the program mentioned the keribda (cherubim) of the Garden. As it turns out, Keribda guard cities and important places in the ancient Mesopotamian area. They were winged creatures with the face of a wolf or dog, much like the Greek griffins. When Adam had been driven from the Garden, according to the Bible, Cherubim had been placed at the entrance to the garden so that Adam could not reenter it. Yet again, the Bible has its roots in some fanciful tales of the ancient Sumerians.

This information caused no surprise or stir for me. I had long ago given up the literal understanding of anything in the 1st 11 chapters of Genesis and maybe for Genesis itself. Many people see this stance as heretical. Some see it as just a misjudgment on my part. Others hope that this understanding is a phase in my life. What it has done is to liberate me from bibliolatry, worship of the Book. What it has done is to allow me to see the Old Testament more as a human record of humanity's attempt to worship a deity. What it has done is to show me the authentic, unique nature of Jesus, God's son, against a backdrop of human attempts to worship God. What it has done is to drive me closer to the presence of a modern, real, active God- a God not based or bound by tradition or by book(Bible) reading. My faith is much more vibrant now than it ever would have been. Hallelujah!

Oh yeah, the average day

I saw the horoscope today. It says I will have an average day. Ha. I have no idea what the average would be in a day. Every day's activities are different. People's reactions are different. People's moods and mine too are different. Events around town are different. When people depart from this life, leaving me without their company, my mindset is different. I can't even average my days over a long period of time because the seasons of life make my experience level in life different. Fortunately, the Maker of the stars gave us a book that records his interactions with humans rather than a book of the alignment of the planets. Oh, I'll go through my day all right, but average it will not be. Interacting with the Creator's creation it will be. As it always will be.

When the Accuser momentarily wins

It is sobering to notice when a brother or sister falls prey to the temptations of the Accuser because he no longer just accuses, he becomes correct in his accusations. There's always forgiveness, but contrition on the part of the Christian needs to come first. My heart feels for a sister right now who doesn't know yet that she is about to prove the Accuser right. My heart aches for her, but hopes that she will see the Forgiver and return instead of driving herself away. Please make it so.

Know thyself

I noticed today that some very educated people made some very ungrammatical statements. Fortunately, they were not trying to teach grammar. But they were presenting a program and representing a university. They were trying to gain the trust of the group I was a part of. I also noticed that the ungrammatical parts of their speech came at the same spot every time. That just means that the region or era or both that we grew up in marks us.

I know what marks speech, but I wonder what other areas of life leave their marks all over us. Probably childhood environment. Probably beliefs of parents and personalities of siblings. Probably the friends we chose. Ad infinitum. No wonder that adults are referred to as products of their environments.

I wish figuring out life were as simple as identifying what we are marked by. This identification is definitely a starting place in the journey of knowing ourselves. The next step is to know how we fit the bigger picture. That's another blog, though.

Let them rail

I got a dose of other people's realities today. Their reality was certainly not mine. My reality is always more positive than negative. Only one time in my life has that been different. But today I got to see other people's very negative realities. I guess they felt trapped or passed over or something limiting. They expressed pent up rage. They were trying to place blame on someone other than themselves.

But opinions are not facts. Facts can be evidenced; opinions are unsubstantiated notions. All the railing today took place after a scan of some data - cold, hard facts. The people should have stuck with the story the data was telling. Instead, they chose to ignore the facts. So, I choose to ignore their notions.

There will be no mighty river

The trip was drawing to a close. It had been fun. But the One who had made the rough, majestic mountains had not made Himself known yet. So, I took a hike down through the forest to a place where two rivers made their trails. One river roared down its course. Its white water splashed over immense rocks and boulders and occasional miniature waterfalls. Its thunderous sound carried a great distance from its banks. Its mist sprayed all those walking along its banks. The other river was small. "Stream" was a more appropos description. A person could jump it with one bound. Its sound was mostly blocked by the constant roar of the mightier river just 30 yards from it, but in the places where its trickle could be heard, it sounded like a large but continuous drip.

It was merely a last scene before the end of a weekend trip. Yet the message it carried let me know that the Maker of the two rivers' majesty just showed up. The message was enigmatically given, mirroring the cryptic messages given at the oracle of Delphi 2500 years before this scene. As time passed the message of this scene lingered and worked itself in my life.

But, it was this same scene two years later that impacted my life more immediately. I had come to the mighty riveronce again, but no roar could be heard, no splashing water over rocks, no mist on the skin. A drought had hit the region. Not a drop of water rolled down the mighty river's path. But the little stream 30 yards away was still trickling down the slope. Its banks were lush with green grass and flowers And its tiny sound was magnified in the silence of the forest.

The tiny sound, however, spoke a message so clearly and loudly. My aims had always been to follow religious teaching within an institution and to climb its hierarchical ladder to the top. But the One who had created my soul also created a scene for me to let me know that from this point on in my life the mighty river of religion in my life was not yielding a drop of water. It had dried up. There was no life in my ambitions. If I would just notice the real river of life, tiny in size comparison, yet much fuller in life, then I could know the one who gives life much better. He alone would sustain me without all the flash and glitz that religiosity might provide me.

It was not the message I wanted to hear, but it was the one I received. It has been true ever since I saw the scene. But, my sustenance has been continually supplied through the years by the giver of life and the teachings of the one who represented the creator of heaven and earth. I have learned that majesty of religiosity is not the path God placed me on. Instead, I learned that a simple trust in the small river of life has all the sustenance (and surprises) I need.

So be it.

Bottom of the barrel

I ponder from time to time what some of the master teacher's words meant. The beatitudes begin with (depending on the version one uses) "Blessed are the poor in spirit." When I first learned the Greek language, I thought it was neat to explore some of the meanings of words in the original such as, "How fortunate are the beggars in spirit."

But, trying to put either the idea of "blessed" or "poor" into something understandable has proven to be a challenge over the years. The word for "blessed" is a challenge in itself. Then the phrase "beggars in spirit" has multiple meanings depending on one's view of the time period. I wish I could definitively come to a conclusion about this saying. But, I can see that my lifetime is too short for a definitive conclusion.

Tonight I came close, I think, to the idea of this beatitude. It was in a group setting in which I usually have something to offer. But, the chat that went on at the beginning of the group time took my mind down a melancholic path. So, I had nothing to offer. As much as I may have wanted to offer something, my mouth was muted, and I listened mainly. I don't think I gained great insight from listening. The nature of the comments didn't pertain to issues needing great insight. The group discussion centered on a topic I was disinterested in. My inner person was impoverished. And as I understand "blessed," it would have something to do with being honorable or having integrity. So tonight I experienced the honor of feeling impoverished. Now I think I know what the bottom of the barrel looks like as far as it depends on me to do anything for myself or understand my own life.

The first beatitude was suddenly my reality. It was a weird place to be in. But, since I wasn't able to look to myself or anyone else for insight or understanding, the only place left to turn was to heaven. And that is exactly how the beatitude ends.

How honorable for you when you finally discover that you have an impoverished spirit because it is then that you will find/understand heaven. Jesus

Waiting on the Master Mathematician

I think the one who offers serendipitous moments did so yesterday. I had been praying for a certain enemy of right to be exposed to the one who could do something to rid the evil. After talking to someone about a related matter, this enemy's name was brought up and the person said that a certain distance had been created. I said that that was an answered prayer because it allowed more objectivity for the person who could rid this evil. Perhaps seeing with more objectivity would spur the action that needed to happen.

All of this cryptic language to say that the Master Mathematician can still cause 2 to be added to 2 to get 4 by allowing for circumstances to develop in the mind of the right person to get what the human equation is all about.

Relief with trepidation

Today I was privy to watching someone face his future being mapped for him. I have often wondered what that would be like. Of course, I was thinking of a fortune-teller mapping out the future or some religious so-called prophet engimatically telling what would happen. But, this sight today was directed and specific. The person watching his own future mapped stood there with two airs about him. One was relief mixed with trepidation. The other was courage to trust in a system that might fail him. The relief was evident by the confidence in the voice that the right decision had been made to put his fate in the hands of a single person. The trepidation involved the uncertainty that comes when you hope that circumstances will dictate something better than what you deserve, but you don't know for sure that the person holding your fate agrees that you don't deserve worse. The courage was evidenced by trusting the one who is your main advice giver. You hope against hope that the advice is sound.

So, I briefly had a chance to reflect on my own future for a moment having been taught by the scene I had just taken in. How much trust do I put in the one who holds my future? Is it mixed with courage? How much trepidation do I have when trying to see down the path a ways? Is it mixed with the relief that I have done the right, true, and honest thing?

So, I ask the One who holds my future to help me be poised to act honestly, to cherish right, and to be true to the CEO I serve on earth and to the One who spoke often of His father to earthly audiences a few years ago on the historical timeline. And I say ditto for the person who showed me courageous trepidation this very day.

Not courage, just trust

I went to a funeral today. The secretary's mother died at age 63. After the funeral one of the men riding with me said that he hated funerals. He hated death and admitted being scared of death. He' s still in his 20s.

One of my favorite songs was written 20 years ago by a group named Harvest. It was about Jesus conquering death. The line in the song that I still remember was, "He stared at sin and conquered death and now I'm a mountain climber." I liked the song because I admired the tenacity and sheer courage it takes to stare at sin and conquer death. I was in my early 30s when the song was popular.

Since that time, many around me that I knew have died, not the least of which were my father and son 8 days apart. Most recently my aunt died. But through those experiences, I have found that a person doesn't have tenacity nor courage to stare at sin and conquer death. Nor is it a matter to be frightened about. A person simply stares death in the face and trusts that the unknown parts of the actual crossing from one life to the other is handled appropriately by the one who hides those parts from us all. No courage really. Just simple trust in the capability of the creator of the life here and there to smoothly transport us from one side to the other. No tenacity, just trust.

"In my father's compund are many houses, many rooms. If it weren't so, I wouldn't have told you that it was. I am going to prepare this place for you." Jesus

Blessed are the merciful

I heard something today that made me think twice about my relationship with other people. What I heard today was not from someone talking about relationships with others so much as it was about requesting a prayer. The request was for me to pray for mercy. This is a prayer I am very familiar with since I have requested mercy for myself on a number of occasions. But I am much too hard on people I am around. And as far as I know, God always answers prayers for mercy when it comes from a contrite heart leading to a change in behavior. So I need to be more merciful. Thank you to the person requesting that prayer. May the Grantor of mercy be generous to him for it has certainly reminded me of a principle in life that I need to reconsider.

A little knowledge

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing,
Drink deep, therefore, or taste not Pierian Spring,
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
But drinking largely sobers us again.
Alexander Pope

One thing about having some age is that there is no reason to have an arrogance about what we know and don't know. Why bother wasting breath if we don't honestly know. We know that someone in the nation has studied a particular area. So, we simply defer to that person.

But on Thursday of this week, I came face-to-face with one of those young upstarts who thought her experience was the end-all word on a matter. She even decided to let her experience guide her thinking in direct opposition to a well researched idea. Her remarks, couched in rather stinging terms, didn't end with her notions being spoken. She decided that she needed to provide her great wealth of life's knowledge with everyone else in the city since it was so beneficial through mass producing a notebook of her ideas.

It is hard for me to be too diplomatic in such a situation. I excused myself from the conversation after about 10 minutes to go to more productive work left to do in the day, but the young woman droned on with a couple of other people for another 15 minutes. If I had thought to do it at the time, I would have quoted Alexander Pope's pithy saying listed above. But, there will be another occasion or she will discover this truth on her own. I can only hope she drinks largely to sober her from her intoxicated state.

Circumstances generalized

A note from my mother came today. It read, "I wish we could have met at the lake [for Labor Day], but that's life." My family canceled the reunion due to scheduling conflicts of mainly the spouses (outlaws) of the family. It seemed like sagotage to me, but as mom put it, "That's life."

Life is made up of individual circumstances. So depending on who is in charge of the circumstances, so goes life. It's always a give and take between those who control circumstances. But, whoever has the upper hand for the moment controls the circumstance. Since upper hands are subject to change, directions in life switch back and forth. So, we have come up with the expression so as not to blame the controllers of circumstances for the moment. "That's life," we say.

Dreamworld

Dreams and fantasies are mere hoaxes, right? They take the information in the brain and, while asleep, the information gets scrambled into something plausible although unlikely. They appear in story form at times and mere rapid paced fragments at other times. They entertain the taboo, the immoral, the uncouth, the imaginary. We can learn from dreams, smile at dreams, and forget dreams because they really don't matter.

That's what science would have us believe. But, on two very distinct occasions they have been something else - once a special insight, once a warning of what was to come. The Maker of dreams made them to relax us, to give us entertainment for the night, or to otherwise allow us to live in a truly surreal place. But, occasionally, He interrupts them for something He wants to deliver specially. He can do that when I'm awake also. But, that is the subject of a different blog.

Surreality

It was only a pause in time, only for a moment. The park was empty. My footsteps on the walkway were the only noise. Birds were absent. The sky misted the park's trees, paths and playground equipment. A near-fog hung in the air. Occasional, distant street sounds could be heard, but a person would have to be listening for them. It was just right for conversing with the Maker of just such scenes. The time went fast. A mile reeled off in what seemed like a couple of minutes rather than the actual 20. The subjects of conversation were the usual. It was the scene that was surreal. If I could have a steady diet of those kinds of surreal scenes, I think I would never have a dissatisfying moment in life. They help me see a side of life that is rarely seen. They are those moments when time is suspended and all is well in my inner world.

"Sometimes God calms the storm. But, sometimes, God lets the storm rage and He stills His child."

Down with fairy tales

In the familiar Wizard of Oz story, Dorothy starts her journey toward Oz following a yellow brick road. She collects friends throughout her journey. When she finally ends up in Oz, she has to overcome several obstacles before finally being given a blessing by the wizard. Then, she returns home to Kansas.

Here's the familiar story of a person today. People start their journeys toward adulthood following the American Dream of being whoever they want to be. They reach adulthood only to realize that the friends they picked up along the way led them off the American Dream and they didn't realize it, or the friends were in it for themselves and they are abandoned only to have to start over again with friendships in adulthood. Adulthood does bring its share of obstacles and often they end in job loss, identity loss, depression, or other dire straits. Then, if people are strong enough to have a spiritual experience, that is see the wizard, then so much baggage has been collected that they may or may not have the stamina to make it out of this life and into the next with a sense of wonder of the Creator of the universe.

Well, one of the stories was designed to be a fairy tale, one a reality check. But I have to wonder about fairy tales. They blow so much smoke of idealism into the world that they are not appreciated any longer. When is the last time you knew a young person who knows fairy tales or was told a fairy tale. That's because reality TV has dominated the air waves. And maybe they should since fairy tales take people nowhere in their worlds.