Families and scatter plots

I've been trying to get a handle on how families interact with each other for a while now. I have very often wondered how someone like Dobson could gather data on what "strong" families do. I'm still looking for the "strong" family.

It seems there is a general principle in life that says that the longer something stays on the earth, the more it weakens or unravels. As I observe all kinds of families I would say that I could chart the characteristics, all right, but that those charactersitics would be plotted on a scatter graph, not in a closed set called "strong." The families I see in my world are all so very different, even the ones who share common beliefs. I see people in a church for instance, who have great individual faith, but have few common interests with their spouses. I see people at work who believe in spending time developing the ideals of the "company" but who never mention their spouses at work, or they mention them in negative contexts. I see pillars of the community who spend a waking hour, maybe 2, at home with their families during the week. I see religious teachers who go to a meal out with their families and say about 50 words the whole time they are in the restaurant.

Then I look at the families in which the parents' children are old enough to have their own young children and who have their own adult lives going on. Where are the joyful times with grandchildren? I see few of them. Where are the visits when fathers and sons-in-law sit and talk about life in general or interests they have whether or not the interests are in common? When are the visits taking place between mothers and daughters-in-law that create the familial bonds? Where are the grandchildren who see their grandparents willingly? I'm thinking life has a way of unraveling.

A coworker of mine recently had several calls from her family on a given day at the end of which (and repeated a week later) the statement was made, "I've had it with my dysfunctional family!" Of course, that's why we all have an empty spot to fill with the Great Teacher's values, one of which is the need to be rescued from the general principles of life. But at least I know better than to look around for families that have "strong" characteristics. I just know how to interact within the family bonds I was born into and within the family bonds I established or that were born to me and invite the Good Master in for the rescue if life goes long enough for the family bonds to unravel.