490 misses the point

I hate it when I get into an old argument with someone. The outcome is the same because the issue is the same. The emotions involved in the argument are the same. It's like seeing the same movie over and over. I had just such an occasion today.

The issue is over a hurt inflicted by a third party. It was a deep hurt inflicted on both of us in the argument by this third party. But the infliction of the wound was several years back. I think the difference is that one of us has practiced the principle of forgiveness while the other has allowed resentments to fester.

"How many times should a person forgive another believer?" Jesus knew the angle of the question being asked. He knew humans loved limits. They love to extract justice after a limit has been reached—a sort of 3 strikes and you're out philosophy. So when Peter mentions the suggestion of a limit like 7 times, Jesus multiplies the 7 by 10 and further multiplies that answer times the 7 used as the delimiting factor. The kicker is that Jesus gives a reason for doing so:

"... because the Kingdom of heaven is like this. Once there was a king who decided to check on his servants' accounts. He had just begun to do so when one of them was brought in who owed him millions of dollars." You know the rest of the story. The whole episode is in Matthew 18. I know my life. I owe a million dollars. I do not want to be guilty of turning around and asking someone to pay for a $10 debt. Although I get accused of not caring, I will not continue with thinking of the hurt. It doesn't matter in light of the grand scheme of how ugly my own life is without grace. Forget it. The Maker of all people is also their judge. If he thinks the third party should suffer recrimination for the hurt inflicted, then so be it. But, it's not because I am asking for it. I am grateful for the mercy I have received time and again rather than the recrimination that should have come my way.

So when the argument comes up again, I will be silent on the issue again. The Great Teacher has said forgiveness is the best path. I am going to eat, grab my keys and get on down the road. I have moved on regardless of the hurt. It's not my call. My call is in the form of an equation: 70 X 7.

If the spirit ain't happy...

This past week was a physically exhausting week. But, this weekend after catching up on rest, something very rejuvenating happened in my spirit. Like mama, if the spirit ain't happy, ain't nothing happy (and vice versa—if the spirit is happy, every other organ is happy).

What rejuvenates me the most is a scripture enlightenment. This weekend a colleague of mine came to stay. He also is a New Testament scholar, so we engaged in quite a few conversations about religion and scripture. But, today we ventured onto the hard sayings of Jesus. In particular, we looked at Matthew 11.12. It was on my mind because a teacher I had heard recently had applied the verse to Christians being assertive in their faith through their relationship with the Holy Spirit. He had used the New International Version for the wording of the verse (which was totally different from the version I was carrying). That threw me into fits since I thought that using the verse in that way was a total miscarriage of interpretive rules. But, having the conversation with my friend helped in resting my soul about the matter.

Matthew 11.12 according to two versions and their variant translations:

From the time John preached his message until this very day the Kingdom of heaven has suffered violent attacks, and violent men try to seize it. (Good News)

From the time John preached his message until this very day the Kingdom of heaven has been coming violently, and violent men try to seize it. (Good News footnote of another way to translate the verse)

And from the time John the Baptist began preaching and baptizing until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing, and violent people attack it. (New Living Translation)

And from the time John the Baptist began preaching and baptizing until now, eager multitudes have been pressing into the Kingdom of Heaven. (New Living Translation footnote of another way to translate the verse)

These 4 renderings of the verse are representative of the 4 main ways to translate/interpret this verse. The second one, from the Good News, is closest to the way I would understand the verse although I would vary somewhat. But, the gyrations of going through the versions and comparing it to the Greek text and discussing it with someone who also knows translation principles, helped my spirit today. Now I am satisfied that the verse is really a response to Jews who were worried that John was not getting a fair shake. It had nothing to do with the Holy Spirit. If I add a little bit of historical context to it, then the verse says, "In the 2 years or so between John's appearance and his teaching and my appearance and my teaching, the Kingdom of Heaven has attacked the power structure. So, those people have worked hard at oppressing it in return."

It's not about the Spirit, it's about the teaching of Jesus and power players' reactions to it. That's comforting to know. It rests my spirit. Now I can go refreshed into the work week much more settled. I thank the creator of a restful spirit for the reprieve amidst a turbulent work backdrop.

Oh, I'm not worried

People say what they need to in order to look good for the moment. I remember a man saying to me that he would not forget what I had done for him. Well, it's been about a year and half since I have heard from him. But, I'm not too worried. Not for one second do I think he will remember, but it's just the human condition to say something that sounds "right" for the moment. And it's even more the human condition to say something and never get around to fulfilling what you said you would do. I would be a bit more condemnatory if I wasn't guilty of the same thing myself.

That brings to mind a story with a stinging indictment to it. Jesus was brought a woman caught in adultery. His response was to write in the dirt. As he wrote, the accusers all walked away saying nothing. What did he write? Who knows. Some suggest that he wrote the 10 commandments, one of which is to honor your father and mother, another of which is to not covet your neighbor's wife, and 8 others which no one in the human condition could fulfill. Some say that he wrote what he said earlier in his ministry. You have heard it said not to commit adultery. But I say to you not to lust after a woman for in so doing you commit adultery in your heart. Who could really stone a woman for what a man does all the time, every day as he looks at all the women in the town.

So when I think of this man who had good intentions, I also think of the many times I didn't really follow through with something I have said. It's a humbling experience, really–a bit like masquerading every Halloween in costumes.

Roads a'plenty

Roads are a good object for comparisons to be made to. They have a number of good analogies, but I think the one I'll choose here is that they represent a way to travel. They make a journey a little easier than if you had to travel over rough terrain. And roads are plentiful these days making their use rather routine.

So, I'll choose several of these roads to explore the countryside (figuratively speaking) and see if the roads go somewhere lively or adventuresome. And if the countryside ends up being the type of terrain I like, I'll just stop and enjoy. And because the same road that got me to the spot also can take me away from the spot, I can leave at any time.

It sounds easy and enchanting. I know it's not, but it will help a person leave the state of limbo he may find himself in. And you never know when the road might just lead to the castle of your dreams.

Going nowhere

Limbo is a word that usually means some kind of interim state in which no one knows what direction to go next or a state in which no one formulates any plans to go any direction at all. Many have written about peaks and valleys in life, but there are just as many limbo places in life as there are peaks and valleys. Limbo places are hard for people to be in because they are used to such constant motion in their lives.

Limbo states, however, do allow for some reflection time just because energy is not used in keeping other motion going. And because limbo times are not usually self-imposed, they allow more global thinking to happen about our own spheres and possibilities. In that way, they are somewhat like dream states—a place in which possiblilities are endless and combinations happen without conscious consideration.

Such is my lot lately. But, the rearrangement of possibilities and the combinations not considered before keep me going and hopeful. It allows for my belief to take over that says that I really don't have to be in control of my environment. I never really have been. I just recognize the truth of it now more than ever than lying to myself or being in denial that I am in control. I trust the One in control of the big picture.

To the healer

The tone has been rather depressing tonight. I watched Grey's anatomy tonight. One of the doctors in the show was found at the bottom of a lake. They tried to revive her, but failed.

Oh what memories! The setting—the monitors—the doctors' efforts—the looks of fright and despair—the final blaring of the heart line tone!

So I come to my computer to blog and turn on the stereo. The 1st song up is a song that soothes my soul, has soothed my soul since my son departed this world. Matthew West's This Will Be My Finest Hour played—and spoke in ever gentle strains to my inmost psyche.

The king of contradiction strikes again

You said the last to cross the finish line will win,

And beggars will be millionaires someday,

and humble ones are going to have their say.

Well, all my friends are gone now

and all my money's gone now

And all my pride is gone now

and if what you say is true now

This will be my finest hour.

Everything is opposite down here—

The strong survive and the rest just disappear.

But your philosophy is more unique.

You say I'll be stronger when I'm weak.

This will be my finest hour.

It's 2 AM and sleepless.

I'm wide awake and restless

I don't know what my deal is.

Iv'e never felt so helpless.

I need you more than ever.

No I don't understand it.

I don't think I'll ever comprehend it.

It's so hard to conceive it,

so I guess I'll just believe it

This will be finest hour.

Oh Father!I am so silent in the face of death!

One year

Oh what a difference a year makes. I am reminded of a story I heard from Landon Saunders.

Two men in the medieval ages were in a dungeon talking. When the executioner came to get one of the men because it was his execution day, the man demanded the executioner get the king for him to talk to. When the king came, he told the man that he couldn't imagine anything the prisoner had to say would change his mind, but he allowed the man to speak. The prisoner said, "King, if you will give me one year to live, I will teach your horse to fly. Imagine what you could do with a flying horse." The king was taken aback by the request, laughed and told the man he didn't know how to teach horses to fly. The prisoner told the king that if the king killed him that day, the king would never know. So, the king gave the man a year to teach his horse to fly.

The cell mate of the prisoner watched the scene with disbelief. He couldn't believe his fellow prisoner really told the king that. "You don't know how to teach a horse to fly," he said. The cell mate replied, "I know that. But, who knows. In a year's time the king could die, the horse could die, or I might really teach a horse to fly. But, one thing's for certain. I have one more year to live."

Perilous times we live in. Outrageous solutions we try. One never knows when dire straits come, what opportunity will present itself.

Creating an illusion

The world has much uncertainty in it. However, when we create routines for ourselves, then we create an illusion for ourselves. We think that the routine creates stability, that that stability is desirable and that it offsets or at least minimizes what uncertainties lie ahead.

But, even in a "stable" environment, we could die in the night never to see the next day. We could have a fatal car accident or one that would injure us for life. We could cross the boss and get fired. We could encounter a criminal who would gladly end it all for us. We could not notice the world around us is falling apart and then our children leave or spouse. We could snap and become psychologically instable. We could be tempted to become immoral for a moment, but it would cost us when the information becomes more widely available at any time in our future. Any number of scenarios would fit. Any of those scenarios could happen in a split second. Then where is our stablility? What good would the routine have served us? But we hide behind the routines anyway.

Life is uncertain no matter how we slice it. That's where morality comes into play. It helps us to know how to react or it tells us who to trust if we don't know how to react. Paul put it well in his discussion of morality in his first communication with the group of Christians who met at Corinth, " If there is no resurrection from the dead... we are of all men most to be pitied" (15.19).

A picture-perfect parable

What a great snapshot of life. What one sees first and foremost is the raindrops on the windshield. It's hard to see anything else really. In fact, one tries hard to see through the rain drops even though it is impossible to do so. A closer look at the picture shows that one can see the dash of the inside of the car. That does help create a little perspective to know that the picture was taken from inside the car rather than outside. Noticing the dash also helps to see the foliage on the right side of the picture. Palm leaves make a person recognize how nice the scenery outside must be. But then, there in the middle of the picture, obscure almost to the eye, is what the picture was taken for. It is the centerpiece even though there are so many distractions to seeing it. The cross.

The picture is a great parable, just not in words. Life brings a person quite a lot of rain. It's easy to focus on, for sure. A person definitely realizes (s)he is looking from the inside out as life brings its rain. One barely notices the paradise (s)he lives in. If it weren't for a little reminder now and then, it would be easy to overlook something like palm leaves from one's vantage point. But how central is the cross in one's life? Small but there nonetheless? The brightest object in the center? The last thing to be revealed because of all the distraction? Hardly noticeable?

The cross. In the midst of rain. Seen only from the inside of a different world. Light piercing the darkness. Always. And forever.

Let's scrap working by the clock

Some days don't have enough hours in them even with good planning. Some days seem long and intense. Others days are dedicated to doing what makes a person happy. Some days just move along at their own pace and allow one to be spontaneous.

Of course it's not the days that are long or short, intense or lazy. It's the person who makes those days that way. As the person makes the days, so go the days. That really means the wear and tear of the day is experienced by the person. Time is an arbitrary measurement anyway. So, going through a day should be measured in terms of the wear and tear on a person rather than in hours. That's why a half day should be measured not in terms of a half day, but in terms of what feels like a half day. A wear and tear measurement should be created. People would be fresher and more likeable people if they would work according to their biorhythms, their peak times for alertness, their times of waking and sleeping, their times of tension and anxiety, their times for action and meditation.

A change to this way of thinking will probably not happen in my lifetime. So, I'm stuck working by the clock. Alas. Such is the path on the way to the next life.

Facing the next tornado

The picture is of the edge of a hurricane.

It's not so fun to face an uncertain future when the uncertainty requires you to walk blindly. You don't know if there is an ambush ahead, a green light, or a ride out of town. People build their lives on foundations, then proceed to construct what beauty they can given their circumstances. But, Life so many times sends storms with tornadoes to knock out the beauty you have built. Next thing you know, you're starting to build with your hammer in hand all over again. It allows me to understand the Teacher's words with a little better clarity after a life full of tornadoes.

"Anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won't collapse, because it is built on rock." (Matthew 7.24-25, NLT)

It's not that the foundation crumbles. It's always intact. It's that the house with its accoutrements are being torn to shreds. But, it is the foundation that counts the most. If it is ever gone, I guess I am in Heaven.

The Tide tube

There's a Tide commercial that features soldiers lined up for inspection by a drill sergeant. One of the soldiers has a stain on his T-shirt. The drill sergeant is all over him with insults. The other soldiers pass a tube of Tide stain remover down the line of soldiers in order to hand the berated soldier the tube. The drill sergeant turns his back on the berated soldier for just about two seconds to look at the other soldiers while he is still dressing down the soldier with the stain. At that second the soldier next to the berated soldier slips the tube of Tide stain remover into his hands. The berated soldier has just enough time to rub the stain out of the T-shirt. When the drill sergeant turns back around he asks the soldier about the stain. The soldier replies, "Sir, what stain, sir?" The drill sergeant looks down and spins 380 degrees on his heels and shouts back, " Oh, what do we have? A dadgum Houdini?"

I love the commercial just because the underdog wins. But, I also know that it is a great "parable" about what God does for every soul while the world looks on, blinks, and looks again at us. Once we get a stain, he hands us the Tide tube so that the world really doesn't know how we Christians can stay nice people, sustain terrible tragedies, bounce back after Life delivers us a black eye, or seek a higher purpose for living. The world does chalk it up to magic in the form of "good inner self talk," or resilience based on how our past has trained us to be.

But the Christian knows better. The Lord's Prayer is a good example of the Tide tube in action.

Our father in heaven, we honor your name... Forgive us what we have done wrong as we have forgiven those who have done wrong to us...

The sun sets on our wrongdoing. The next day's dawn allows us to begin afresh. We're not Houdinis, just forgiven followers of the Son of Man.

I could not disagree more

Sometimes I wonder about the passage in Acts 26 in which Paul was on trial in front of King Agrippa. As he told his story of conversion to Christianity, he mentioned that God had raised Jesus from the dead. At that point, Festus, the governor, shouted out, "Paul, you are insane. You have studied so much that it has made you crazy!"

There is no doubt that Paul was at the top of the educational food chain for his day and time—the equivalent of a PhD. King Agrippa also was an expert in Jewish beliefs and customs although he probably did not practice any part of Judaism. But I hear the refrain in my mind often, "You have studied so much that it has made you crazy!" In part that is due to people thinking that I have left my childhood faith. That means something different to me than to them. I certainly have left my childhood faith. But, I haven't by any stretch of the imagination left my faith. I hope my childhood faith tutored me to accept a more mature faith. Also, in part, I hear the refrain because friends and family caution me not to take my learning too far because it might affect my faith. I hope my learning does affect my faith. It should enhance it beyond what I could otherwise grasp.

I guess I am protesting the "warnings" given to me. I love to read about historical contexts and the milieu of other literature that coexisted with the Bible. I think it does not lead away from the stories in the Bible, but gives it a richer context by which to consciously acknowledge that the Creator reached out to His creation. His creation recorded His encounters with them accurately. Because of that I can project ahead from the times recorded in that book to my era and see much more precisely how the Maker of all has decided to continue with the human race even though He might think His creation has made a total mess of things.

Our age is the same as the ones we read about in the ancient Biblical texts. The names have been changed, and that's about all. Wider reading about ancient literature and customs helps decipher more clearly what the Hebrews might have been doing. Seeing that Job correlates to Sophocles' plays, or plays a little earlier than that, gives me greater appreciation for the beauty of Job. Knowing that Israel kept chronicles of their kings correlates beautifully with what kings from other cultures did. That instills more confidence in the chronicles that come down to us. Knowing the early flood, creation, and lineage stories' correlations with other civilizations' equivalent stories strengthens the fact that a Creator tried so very hard to convince His creation very early on that they should respect Him. Ad infinitum.

So, although Paul was more educated than I, the learning I have received may to others seem as if it has driven me crazy. I could not disagree more!

Just an object

Recently I stepped out of my shell. I thought I wanted something, which I did. My mistake was that I asked the Creator to go before me into this place I wanted to step into. He did not go before me. I have more here to fulfill. I keep thinking my time will come when I have finished all I have been asked to do in this place. That's what I get for thinking. So, even though it wears thin on the trust, I stay—and hope and trust some more. I'm just not ever in charge of the big picture. It sure keeps me humble in the true sense of the word, not the false humility variety. I'm not the maker, but the object being carved.

A stalwart cliff wish

Once, I thought I knew what was right and wrong, black and white. Now I wonder anymore if nearly everything moral is reletive. It seems that good is tainted with evil and evil tainted with good. It seems that if I have something moralistic to say that I actually stand as a hypocrite if I let the thoughts have voice. I understand the human condition well enough to know that people make mistakes and that I am no different.

The ancient Hebrew philosopher who wrote Ecclesiastes knew this 2900 years ago (7:20-22).

There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.
Don't pay attention to everything people say---you may hear your servant insulting you, and you know yourself that you have insulted other people many times.

Truly, there is nothing new under the sun. I know that not everything goes in a society. But, I am only in control of my own actions—and then only inconistently. It drives me insane, except that I know everyone else is in the same condition. I wish I could be a cliff standing out for all to see how consistent I am.

But, I'm not, so I better pick a different analogy. Maybe, a primitive cluttered third world village without much insight into modernization would suffice.

No, not this one

When I was young, I remember thinking what a great mystery the Holy Spirit was. After I had attended college a year, I remember having a long conversation with my dad about what function a spirit might have or what role (s)he would play in religion.

Over the years, of course, the Holy Spirit's function and role has become clearer. But, if I was ever in doubt at this point in my life, I wouldn't be after today. What I saw happens only in movies that are not real.

I was sitting on an interview committee for 6 grueling hours asking questions of those who wanted this particular job. The last two to interview were known to be the strongest candidates. One came in and answered every question just like you would want her to. Every answer was the classic script of the way to get a job. The second came in. The answers were simple. Yet, the answers were penetrating at the same time. The answers were born of passion in the soul for what the job was about. But, they were bare of the classic scripted answers.

Discussion ensued. It appeared that the classic answers had won the day. But there was a spirit present. The issue could not be dropped. What should we as interviewers do with a person of such deep, noticeable, wrenching passion. So, one by one, to the person, the interviewers began telling of encounters they had had with this interviewee. Although not the most articulate, no one could let go of her penetratingly simple answers that represented everything the other one had crafted so well to say with many words. The spirit would not turn loose of the right person of the job until every person clearly had dealt with why the second person should get the job over the first person. It was a 180 degree swing from the way the discussion had begun.

The setting was secular, not religious. But, the wrong person for the job was about to be selected. Someone, somehow, called to the heavens and said, "You've got to intervene." Oh yeah, the right person got the job after people's minds encountered a passionate spirit.

I will ask this interviewee if she believes in God when she is settled into her job. I plan to tell her that intervention happened on her behalf. I'm just the messenger, but I hope the news will touch her life, so that her spirituality is strenthened, and that many can be nurtured by her good and helpful spirit.

Downhill slide

Today the newspaper reported the death of the son of a local minister. At work, the morning meeting took 2 1/2 hours and the intent was to spell the death of the way budget matters are currently operating. This afternoon, the 3 1/2 hour meeting was to spell the death of a particular committee that had been operating as a rather maverick entity. The meeting around lunch was a meeting to repair what had been done earlier in the day while I was attending the morning meeting. Today has been a day of reporting death and doom and despair. Tomorrow's a new day. Maybe it will be one of refreshment.

Asking way too much?

The book of Hosea is astonishing to me. I really don't know what to do with it. In many ways it fits the words of the Great Teacher in answer to the question, "How many times should a person forgive another person?" His answer was 70X7. In Hosea, the analogy is given of a husband having to go get an adulterous wife 3 different times. Most of the book is a tirade of God against the northern kingdom of Israel. It is venomous and talks of how adulterous the chosen people have been against their Maker. However, in 3 sections that aren't really long, God tells how he will take back his chosen people. That's astonishing, and I don't really know what to make of it. Humans don't really work at that level of forgiveness naturally. And, maybe it's a statement just about the Creator and not meant for humans to try to copy. Unless, of course, one couples it with Jesus' words about forgiveness. Then, it's for everybody to do. I'm still pondering the application.

Bipolar noise

Some days are just filled with noise. Some of the noise is good, some bad. I have heard over the last two days much that was good. People were wearing smiles and laughing. People were getting welcome relief. I have also heard over the last two days much ill. People were pensive and doubtful. People were giving in instead of plodding forward. Over the last two days, I too, have been smiling and laughing, but mainly out of courtesy. My mind dictated much anger because of malicioius behavior aimed at those I care about.

Charles Dickens knew well this dual feeling that faces us every day. His book A Tale of Two Cities begins with this opening paragraph:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.

So, I leave the noise in my mind for the time being. I will sort out the noise that gets left behind because the noise that didn't disappear has a root somewhere that I must deal with.

Iron on iron

Jack struggled all the way through the book with the living habits he had developed. His early philosophy of "Blow it off" worked for him until he had to show up for a paternity test and later when he fell in love with Jan. Then he had to grow up some. But he never grasped what Damon kept telling him—that there was a "big picture" to life. Some people think the big picture is a particular plan of the Creator for his creation or least for those who believe in him. Even at the end, in Jack's posthumous letter, Jack never bought into the Creator plan for his life. Instead, he wanted the big picture to be that a Creator existed and that his life had meant something instead of nothing.

Damon, too, seemed to be confused at times about the role of the Creator. He wrote several letters discussing either the idea of prayer or the idea that a Creator would care for Jack if he would come around to accepting the idea of a Creator. But, even then, Damon did not have well defined ideas.

But, in this arena of Life in which late adolescents are defining their values and trying to place individual values into an overall value system, most people would not fault Jack or Damon. Some people get worried that young people wait too late in life to select certain moral values and they become evangelistic in their behavior, wanting others to accept the values they themselves have selected. But, I think the real beauty of the two young men is that they really learned from each other over time during the days of their topsy-turvy world of late adolescence. Damon needed to loosen up and enjoy life. Jack needed to tighten up and take on basic morality.

When iron sharpens iron, the result is a sharp blade, one that is useful for removing what needs to be removed when cutting. Iron that is not struck against another piece of iron results in a dull blade, one that tries to remove what needs to be removed but it can't or it takes longer or it butchers the job.

Therefore, the book had a happy ending. Jack dies to be sure. But, through the process of sharpening himself against a friend's opposite belief system, he worked out a satisfactory morality before dying. And Damon learned that friends who live life more fully actually enjoy the events life has to offer. So, the old Hebrew proverb still has a universal truth at its heart. As iron sharpens iron, so one friend affects another. So-o-o true!