Override

I was raised in such an austere, rule-saturated environment that when I was in my 20s, I remember wondering why there was such a thing as desire if one had to always trump the heart with the reasoning of the head - self-control my parents had called it. 

As I experienced more of life, I followed what I had been taught, but I still wondered what the role of desire was when it came to a duel of heart and head.  I realize now that responses need to be measured in most instances, but measured doesn't mean that reason always prevails.  There is a purpose for having a heart.

The heart and the head were made to decide things together.  Reason doesn't always prevail.  It analyzes and suggests.  The heart tells what is desirous.  They, together, come to an agreement.  When the heart wants a stronger say, it wins, as it should.  The head merely guides it down its desired path so that it doesn't steer completely off the road.

I have trained myself for so long to override my heart that occasionally I do so even when my heart is racing with desire and should take the decision away from head.  One of those occasions recently occurred.  How stupid it was to succumb to reasoning in light of every fiber in my body telling me to do otherwise.  Stupid doesn't even get close to describing how poor a decision I made.  I should have acted with reckless abandon and shown the content of the desires of my heart.

I realize that it is a bit unusual for circumstances to recur, but if this one ever does, I know exactly what to do... and it starts with repressing every thought related to reason that I might have... and it ends with expressing every thought stored in my heart... in the same way a star explodes brilliantly against a night sky!