Scarless events

My sister-in-law referred to the Xmas for the in-law side of the family as the ADD Xmas. That's because everyone raced through the present opening to watch the football game. Consequently, not all gifts were opened in the sight of everyone. They were held to the privacy of the person's home at a later time.

I don't know how many times I have missed getting to absorb the value of some event in my children's lives because I was off to the next thing on my list. I hope it was often since they are now gone from home. But memories are tricky and I don't know what they might label the ADD event for them for whatever reason.

Fortunately, humans are malleable people and we let our memories guide only what we want them to guide. We all get over miserable events in our lives and move on. Most of the time there is no scarring effect. I hope the New Year brings those scarless events. So be it.

Ravaging sands

I recently communicated with a friend from the remote past. It was good to hear from him. A lot has gone on in his life. Life never leaves us the same after it blows through. He was the epitome of freshness and enthusiasm. He now is ravaged by the sands of time. I would like to say it's sad to see, but I would just be incriminating my own story to say that. So, I will instead say that I empathize with him. I hope he finds the kindness from the Creator that he seeks.

For those who think they know

Words, words, words. So says a Shakespearean character to indicate that someone just said something meaningless. Words in the wind is another expression. Words, however, do allow us to express the emotions and intentions we have in our minds. So, I don't particularly like the two expressions just mentioned.

Last Friday at work there was a debriefing session with a company that wants to fix our department, so I thought I would play a little mind game (word game) with them. I did this to see if they truly can tell about people making up the department just through having training sessions and debriefing sessions. I don't think they are too terribly good at it. At least, over the last 3 months, I think they are tuned in to the wrong speech markers and behavior tags. They'll be back in February. That means I am left to plot against them again. At least I will have a little planning time. This should be fun.

Lining up pictures

I use a camera from time to time to have the great memories in place. I look back on those memories through the snapshot that has been taken only rarely. I wonder why that is sometimes. But that is the subject of another blog.

Today I had an occasion that reminded me so much of looking at pictures of our lives at various stages in life. I have a decision coming up concerning my daughter. I know that that decision will take place over a period of the next 4 weeks and then that particular decision time will be gone forever although its ramifications won't. So, I started down history lane to form a "track record" in my mind to help me make this decision. That is typical of my M.O., but I realize that other people use a different process by which to make decisions. The events that ended up going into that record were pictures that I wanted to destroy or redo. Of course, time is linear, and redoing and destroying are impossible.

I lined up snapshots that I hoped would lead me to a bottom line and then a decision could be made. Well, the bottom line wasn't there. It was smudged, gray, unclear. The snapshots were clear, but adding up snapshots does not include real life. It only adds up moments in time. It doesn't factor in hope or prayer. It doesn't include that I am really not in control of what is best for other people (nor should I be).

There will be a decision made over the next 4 weeks. But, I have no idea what that decision will turn out being. It will only include the pictures in my mind of past events to a less than 50% extent because life is dynamic, not static like memories and pictures. Every time I look at a picture, I remember what happened after that or what resulted after the picture was taken.

That leaves me with a dynamic life-giver leading me through a dynamic life circumstance. I just have to trust that a card will not be misplayed from this hand. If it is, it will cost me in a very important aspect of life for the next 20 years. So, walking in the park over the next 4 weeks will be an interesting proposition. That's when the dynamic life-giver and I get together. I hope to see clearly the path through this life circumstance, just like I clearly see the path in the park every day. May it be so.

Until then

I got to talk of dreams today. They were not shared dreams, however, with the one to whom I talked. That is a shame since I would like for them to have been shared. So, I can see some decisions that I hoped I could avoid ahead on the horizon. But, life is not predictable, and people do not always act as they indicate they will when only in the talking stage. And the One who can invade people's minds with thoughts that they don't have at first is still in the mix. There will be another occasion to talk again of dreams. We'll see how it turns out at that point.

Tunes for refreshment

The music inspired me today. In fact, I can't go long in a day without hearing my inspiring music. It feeds my psyche. It causes me to be grounded. It allows me to think clearly. It urges me to give tribute to whom tribute is due. So, I keep my music in the car and my study so that I can always remember who my maker is. Not that I would forget. But so that I can keep him foremost in my environment. Simply having words in the environment won't cut it. Art and music feed my psyche. So, I try to have plenty of both. Long live the musicians and artists among us.

The broken life

I see brokenness all around me. People I know, including me, have children that have strayed from the straight and narrow. People I know have divorce decrees structured that give their precious children to reprobate parents for weekends and holidays who should never be allowed to be in the presence of children. People I know have back ailments that have dogged them all of their adult lives, but they just live through the pain. People I know have experienced children who have committed suicide at young ages. People I know work themselves to the bone only to go home to ungrateful children who think their parents should be doing more for them. People I know have seen trials of drunken teenagers kill their children and left them with grandchildren to raise. People I know live with spouses who have diseases that have robbed them of earthly vigor - still the commitment to spouse and Creator alike is honored.

Ad infinitum.

All of these people call themselves by the name of the one who died for their forgiveness of sins. All of these people call out to the one who created the heavens and the earth and who decides at times to intervene in human affairs.

My heart aches for all of them and me along with them. Our cries continue to haunt the heavenly realms. It seems they are put into a vault. Not long ago, I wept on the way to work for the sorry human condition I find myself in. I wiped my eye and turned the tear on my finger heavenward, thinking, "Surely you see these tears!"

Hear your broken people. Heal your broken people. Don't discard your broken people. Meet your broken people on their individual paths tomorrow and speak to them, reassure them. The journey home is long.

Succumbing to grace

Rage is what I experienced today. People trying to do jobs at which they were incompetent. People trying to go over other people's heads with supervisors. People trying to get others in trouble. People socializing when work was supposed to be getting done. People wasting time when productivity to meet a tight schedule was needed. All on my watch. Somehow, I will sleep tonight and wake up to return to the same group of people with the same behaviors. Through the night I will hear the refrain, "My grace is sufficient for you." Tomorrow I will start renewed because I can be gracious in return for the grace I receive tonight. A conversation with the Maker of all about 6:30 AM will ensure the day gets off on the right foot. I'll run the above idea by Him at that time, but I think the answer will be, "Freely you have received. Freely give."

Gone in 60 seconds

"You say the nicest things." Of course, it's not the words. It's the attitude behind the words. A person smiles, nods, empathizes. A person visits, calls at the right time, places a card in the mail. It's all about actions and pictures (attitudes). It's not about words. When the words fade, which is about 30 minutes after they are uttered, a person remembers the gesture, the attitude. Words are like dreams. They dissipate, but one remembers the fact that a dream occurred.

Maybe today and tomorrow, I can decide to be pleasant, to have a ready word for someone who will then also decide that I was pleasant toward him or her. That should affect someone positively. I would love it to be so.

Pictures not words

All of us have heard, "Guns don't kill, people do." It's the same with words. They are vehicles. When words are used to malign others, the receiver of the words should not say someone has said thus and so to me. The receiver should say, "Your anger, your hatred has been conveyed adequately." One has to look past the words to the attitude or total message. Then, the proper response on the part of the receiver can formulated. If the response is to duel with the other person in words, it is much like the old-time duels with guns. It's still the people doing the killing, not the guns/words. There are other ways to show anger and hatred besides using words. Body posture is one. Ignoring someone is another. Avoidance is one. Fisticuffs is another. Pulling strings behind someone's back to get the person transferred or reassigned is one. Staring is another. Words are just vehicles. If one uses a thousand words, it's still just worth a picture. So, it's the picture, not the words that are important.

What pictures of others are rumbling around in my head? That guides my actions. Changing pictures changes the words. Not the other way around. My desire in working with others should be to have the right pictures, kind pictures, honest pictures rather than plotting, scheming, malicious pictures. Today I resolve to do so.

Vehicles

A car has no brains. It is the driver that makes the car do what it does. It is the manufacturer that designs the car in the first place that gives a car its magic. Words have no brains either. They are not magic. It is the speaker with an idea that has to use words as a vehicle to express the idea. The idea is magic.

Part 2 later.

Spin doctor

In writing, people always have a choice of words. That means that the choices made truly represent what is on someone's mind. This is generally true of speech although it is somewhat more complicated. This makes email a great medium to analyze. It's the written word, so it really does reflect one's thinking. It takes a clever person to put spin on a message. That's because it takes time to massage words to communicate something other than what is on someone's mind. So, next time you want to put a mask on the words you write, just spend a little more time than it takes to empty your mind of its first round of word choices. Massage, massage, massage—presto, spin happens. Congratulations.

Wisdom of not knowing

I don't know what it is like to live to 100. But, this weekend my grandmother turned 100, so we had a big party for her. All of her extended family with the exception of 2 grandchildren, 2 great grandchildren and 1 great, great grandchild gathered to honor her. People came from California and Arkansas and all points around Texas. Grandmother tired after about an hour, so she went back to her apartment. Then she came back for another two-hour round of eating and gift-giving before retiring for the night.

At the end of the party, I went over to her and said that I thought she would mention why she had lived so long. I was looking for something profound, some advice to follow. But, her answer was, "I don't know."

And that's about the truth for many aspects of life. She was wise enough to admit it. I think I need to be looking at certain aspects of life and admitting my absolute failure to be able to analyze them accurately. "I don't know" needs to be a more recurring refrain from my lips. I need to look at a circumstance and admit, "I didn't create it. I don't understand it. I don't control it. Not even close. Don't even try." So be it.

The quietest man

I work around the corner from a health insurance man. He is very quiet. Most days I don't even know whether he is at work or not. He exchanges greetings if I happen to see him on the elevator or in the bathroom, but that is rare.

This week it was time for my annual review for health insurance, so I went to see this very quiet man. We talked about my current needs an updates. And, of course, no talk with an insurance man happens without talk of death and dying—thus the need for life insurance. I guess he thought I was a little distraught with the talk of death and dying, so he mentioned that death doesn't really matter for those who know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. It was very naturally spoken by him, it's just that I wasn't expecting that statement from him, the quietest man on earth.

So, I am thankful today that I live in a world in which many around me, whether I know it or not, have a faith that will lead them home one of these days. Once in a while, it looks as if evil is actually overcoming good. Then I run into these quiet people. It always surprises. But, it also always encourages me.

This Thanksgiving I am encouraged that this world has many representatives of the next world all around me.

Noticing a turn of events

I am wondering now what will happen. 6 weeks ago the One who disturbs his people's sleep did so and led me to a book I had not read in a number of years. It was about apocalyptic literature. I accepted the ensuing events over the last six weeks in light of the intensity of oppression that is reflected in this genre of literature. And it has been intense at work. I have prayed for a certain enemy, but as is the case with enemies, they don't relent. I have worked 10-16 hour days to survive in this environment. Still nothing has changed.

But as is also true of apocalypses, there is an end to the oppression. The Weaver of Events wins and works His will. The last two days have seen a turning point. Finally, the one human who can rid the enemy of his ungodly work has been made aware of certain obstacles (placed in the way by this evil minion) that have been unnecessary and unreasoned. In time, the One who weaves to win will get the recognition he deserves for the capitulation of one who belongs to His enemy. I will sing that praise in advance through this blog. I say "Thank you" and hope it echoes through the divine quarters.

This for that

There sometimes seems to be a unity in life that allows for compensation, a quid pro quo system. It seems that if one experiences good, then bad follows or if one has a particularly bad experience, then a particularly good experience follows. One such case of this happens the Friday after Thanksgiving. My maternal grandmother turns 100. What an achievement. On the other hand, I never knew my paternal grandmother. She died when my father was around 10. Another such case is that my son departed for another world at an early age. Immediately on the heels of departure, The One who compensates led me straight into a job I had tried for over a 10-year period of time. It was just in a different town from the one I had lived in for a long time.

Call it irony, maybe even cruel justice. I don't understand the compensation fully. It just seems to exist. I don't think there is an answer in the sacred book or an equivalent observation in it. It doesn't seem to be related at all to the sow-reap principle. So, I just accept it when it happens and log in one more observation.

Inside the storm

I work in the midst of a stormy environment. Everyday I see evil wax and wane against good. Somedays corruption wins the day. Other times, integrity wins the day. So, a storm rages. I frequently remember this saying:

Sometimes God calms the storm.
But sometimes God lets the storm rage
and calms His child.

So, after a particularly nasty storm last night, The Calmer of spirits came today to do just that. Tonight my spirit rests.

One day this, the next day that

What happened?
One day I was trucking down life with hope in one hand and zest in the other.
What happened?
The next day the life-partner took a different track in life and I lost the hand of hope.
What happened?
The next day the son of my loins departed this life for the next and I lost the hand of zest.
What happened?
One day I realized that this world highlights life's arrows and darts, and I lose unless someone is waiting on the other side and is actively guiding me home. Zest and hope are restored.


John 1
11He came to his own country, but his own people did not receive him. 12Some, however, did receive him and believed in him; so he gave them the right to become God's children.

On people and dens

I don't really know anymore what society wants out of people. Somebody gripes about something or someone, it seems, all the time. If you make accommodations for someone, a larger group gets mad or starts to question. If someone sees someone else get to do something that (s)he doesn't get to do, petty jealousy sets in. People decide not to get along for a variety of reasons. Politics is disgusting, but we are all forced to play it. So, we're all left with doing what suits us. So, when the Master Teacher decided to clear out the temple for some of the same reasons I just mentioned, I guess he had reached his limit. I think I am at mine too. And I think everyday that I could say when I go to work, "You have made my father's house of prayer into a den of thieves." Father help us all.

My hearing has improved

Listening to voices that don't come through the space continuum of our 3D world is an art not a science. Mainly because it deals with belief. One has to believe actually that the Creator not only creates but also "speaks" so that He can be understood. Thus, in my personal odyssey through this life, I have had to learn to decipher the "voice" that can be heard.

In my younger years, I heard nothing. Then again, I uttered prayers, but they didn't merit an "answer" to them most of the time. They consisted of thanks and help me. But ever since The One Who Showed No Mighty Rivers to me liberated me from the chains of organized religion, I have had experiences that "spoke" to my mind and intersected with circumstances that I had nothing to do with.

So, listening these days does not mean that my ears have audible sounds that stike the ear drum. It means that I have learned to see trademarks on experiences, mind impressions, visual scenes, dreams, disturbed sleep, and I'm sure another "sound" or two that are left off this list. Oh, they don't happen daily. Sometimes weeks go by. Sometimes perspective comes after a couple of years. Sometimes, inspirations happen in retrospect of a decade. Sometimes encouragements come every few days. But, that is the way it was designed. I am an adult child and I'm not living at home. So, when my father visits, he leaves a little of himself behind. He communicates in the most pleasant of ways and occasionally in the most troubling of ways.

It made such a difference when I finally understood the Son of Man's words when he said that he was returning to his father, but that he would leave someone else with us who would stand beside us and that this other person would guide us to a more complete understanding.

Thanks to him I understand "voices" when I hear/sense them.