An expletive moment

I contemplated the call a while before I made it.  I knew what I wanted to say.  I knew it would be a defining moment.  My life's path had come to a Y.  Both sides of the Y held change for me.  But I wanted a particular destiny for my future, a particular branch of the split in the Y. The person on the other end answered but it was an inconvenient time and commented wanting to continue our brief conversation later.  Done deal.

But I didn't get to help define the moment I had waited for.  The call didn't come, so I didn't get to continue the conversation.  The side of the split in the Y I had wanted to change became my straight line choice.  But for the number of hours I had wanted to continue my phone conversation, I was already anticipating moving down the side of the Y I had truly, earnestly desired.  It was certainly an expletive moment, but I had to move right on down the straight line choice available to me.  Done deal.

All of us have branching paths that show up in our lives.  We'd like to think that we could help to make the decision for the branch of the Y we most desire to travel down.  But things happen.  Something restrains a call from being made.  And what we thought was a Y becomes a straight line to travel, no decision necessary.

Whenever I think of that moment, I utter the same expletive.  How I wanted to discuss my main business for calling!  Things would be very different now... and expletiveless.

Maybe the side of the Y I so desired is even now available to happen.  What an expletive moment that would be.  The expletive in that moment would sure be different... as would my life.  And I would unhesitatingly, instantly make it a done deal!