What surrounds a statement

Interpreting what people are saying is really a full time job.  The brain cannot follow people's utterances word for word and analyze them for meaning, at least not while thinking about all the other things it does like run bodily functions, notice things about the environment, such as safety and caution (especially if driving), take into account tone of voice, try to have the right face for the emotion required by the the one talking, and a hundred other things.  So, the default is to accept people's words for face value.  But, if something seems like it doesn't fit or like something is missing from the full intelligibility, then the brain has to shut down one or more of its functions so that it can analyze what is being  said for all the utterance's possible meanings.

Cross-gender conversation is particularly susceptible to having the brain not run its many functions while conversing because the conversation will be different from what is familiar.  And, what is familiar is what someone has been socialized to accept as normal.  So, when men and women speak to each other, they are on high alert, spending available brain power to analyze statements for secondary meaning.

One answer is that the two speakers are not knowledgeable enough of the other's background.  For example, if one person says that her uncle is coming into town so she it will have to put a lock on the liquor cabinet, then the other person is left to wonder.  Is her uncle a religious fanatic who is a tea totaller, so the other speaker can't drink while the religious uncle is in town?  Or, is the uncle a sot, so the speaker has to keep liquor from the uncle's lips so as not to be embarrassed?  Or is it that the speaker's mother doesn't know that the speaker drinks.  If he or she drinks in front of the uncle, the speaker's mother will surely find out?  Or is it that the uncle feels free to take the liquor with him when he leaves since he has to scrape by for money?  The visit will cost the speaker a fortune in replacement costs.  Or, is it that the uncle is rich and always has an opinion about the cheap liquor that the speaker buys?  So, in order to avoid how cheap she or she is, they go out to buy their liquor while the uncle is in town.

Great, now one's background for what is meant contributes meaning to an already difficult conversation.  Socialization is different, so misinterpretation arises, AND the person's background has to be known or misinterpretaion arises.  Cross-gender conversations are just doomed.

There is one exception, but that is the subject for another time.