So, now I pray

Once upon a time I thought I had all the answers to child raising. What I learned on the way through the child raising years was that every child is different, and life screws up everybody on the way through so that there is no such thing as an ideal family. I thought about starting the blog with "What I learned on the way through the child raising years could fill a book." Oh, I could write a lot about what I learned from the experiences life gave us, but I think it really boils down to the two observations I actually did start the blog with.

On good days, I say I love my daughter no matter what. On bad days I say I don't know where I went wrong. My children are not me, but when they are so different from me that the family resemblance (metaphorically speaking) is not noticeable any longer, then I have to wonder about the chain of events that led to a breakdown in family resemblance. I also have to try to wonder about the spiritual aspect. I started out thinking, in those days when I had all the answers, that I could present my children to God as spiritual people because they would see the same in me. But, as I mentioned, life screws up everybody on the way through. Such idealism as I started out thinking ought to be condemned everywhere it is taught. I don't know if I was taught such idealism, or if I just thought that is what was taught. Either way, it doesn't matter now.

So, now I am in the business of prayer. I don't understand much about prayer. It doesn't make sense intellectually that God would need to his people to pray if prayer is merely a series of requests. But, even though I don't understand it, it is one of the strongest themes found in both Old and New Testaments. But if one of the clearest themes will accomplish God's will, then I ought to abandon my petty idealism for sure and just do what has been a spiritual discipline throughout the ages. The results couldn't be worse than the way it turned out thinking that a strong Christian example would work. I kick myself now for my stupid idealism. So, now I pray.

Divinely appointed

The day started as a normal day. But, after just 5 minutes, my day changed. I was given a mission. Sometimes my supervisor gives direction or marching orders, but this was different. It was direction from someone out of the norm, and was unmistakably couched as a divinely appointed mission. So, I have my work cut out for me for the next month and half with this mission.

I was raised in the Church of Christ, so receiving a divinely appointed mission from a charismatic Christian is somewhat out of the norm and comfort zone of my background. But, God has altogether worked with me in a different way since the death of my son. I guess He knew I would be listening more closely to his voice or that I would not be throwing up theological arguments to the way in which He wanted to work with me. And I am certain that he knows I have finally learned the discipline of prayer in my life, so He uses that.

I am the least likely Christian to use in regards to prayer since that has been a Johnny-come-lately discipline in my life. But, from the first hint of my job outside the teaching classroom in Odessa to the present, prayer has been the source of God's direction for my life. It's a more exciting spiritual life I am leading these days. And it certainly depends less on people for the fulfillment of spiritual goals. It depends wholly on what God wants to send my way in His own timing of things. I'm game.

Future glimpse

I'm thinking that all is well. But, I can't see the future. So, life might be just starting to get really messed up. Or it might be on the upswing right now, so that the future might really be something grand. There's no way to know. Or if life is a series of trade-offs, then the future will not be any better or worse than it is now. It will just be different. First there will be one trade-off then another. One door will open while another one will close. One event will need addressing giving rise to arresting the development of other events. So, the future will hold about the same as the present. That's why I'm thinking that all is well.

2 or 3 more curves

A person can tell when something interrupts the usual way of life. Here it is June 24th and the last blog was June 3rd. 3 weeks of interruption. Part of it is the need to focus on a problem that cropped up that took extra time to fix. Part of it is just wearing out from work-a-day routines. Part of it is being depressed when several fires crop up at the same time and need attention from lack of attention for a somewhat lengthy period of time. After looking back over the last several blogs, I guess the time off was good to get the venom and rage out of my system.

But, there is a little relief from waiting 3 weeks. I don't feel like I need to vent about anything tonight. Oh, there is plenty to whine about. But, much time has gone into fixing problems. At least there has been forward motion started. Hopefully, that will gain momentum as time goes by. Some time on extra teaching has ended. A clearer direction for future physical meanderings is closer than it ever has been. So, much is looking up.

Tomorrow I go to the Revelation class again. But, somehow, I think I have reconciled what my role is and what it needs to be. It is a demon inside of me that wants others to give something that is not in their aresenal. My time needs to be spent on what I have to offer in writing more than anything. My arena needs to be somewhere other than some Sunday morning class in which no one really notices my going or coming. Perhaps, the creater wishes to use the opportunities he has presented me with just to get me over some obstacles in my path home. They're not for anyone else really unless it would be for some other lone traveler on the path.

Next week I return for a full regimen of work. I know what needs to be done and where to concentrate my energies.

The personal stuff in life will get taken care with or without me, so I don't have to fret about that. The personal goals I have will continue to come clear.

The race I am in is not over yet. But, I do know that I might have one or two more curves I can't see around, then the end of the journey will be in sight. May the One who Leads Me Home make me an efficient person at last.

Finally an early church literature review

If one were to review early church history, one would find that there are also seven letters to churches from Ignatius, the bishop of Antioch.These letters were written on his way through Turkey to face execution in Rome. Four of the letters went to the same towns as found in the seven letters from John's Revelation (Smyrna, Ephesus, Philsdelphia, and Sardis). Perhaps by looking at them, a person could find some corroboration of ideas to what is found in Revelation. Besides the commonality of seven letters and four to the same churches, the time period is very nearly the same. If John the apostle is the author and the date is around 96 AD, then Ignatius' letters come second, being dated to around 110 AD. If John the Elder wrote the Revelation, then the letters could have been written contemporaneously with Ignatius' or even shortly afterward. If shortly afterward, then perhpas Ignatius' letters served as a model or inspiration for the letters appearing in Revelation. Nonetheless, there are several connections between the two sets of seven letters.

First, in Ignatius' letter to the Ephesians, he addresses corruptive teaching forcefully. This matches the vehemence found in Revelation by John's using the term Jezebel for corruptive teaching. Ignatius' words are these, "Do not be deceived, my brothers and sisters. Corrupters of houses will not inherit the Kingdom of God. If a saying about corruptors of houses exists in the fleshly world as good advice, how much more meaningful is it if a person, through evil teaching, corrupts the faith of God for which Jesus was crucified. Such a person, having defiled himself, shall go into the unquenchable fire, as shall the one listening to that person" (Ephesians 16).

Second, if the term in Revelation, Jezebel, a name from the Jewish Bible, refers to a group of Jews, and if they belonged to a "synagogue of Satan" as the Jews were referred to in the letter to Smyrna (Rev.2.9), then the "knowledge of the depths of Satan" would refer to the Jewish teachings from the Jews in Thyatira. If this is the case, then there is a match of thought in Ignatius' letters as well. One of the stongest criticisms by Ignatius is found in his letter to the Magnesians. It states, "Do not be seduced by strange teachings or ancient fables because they are profitless. For if even to this day we live as Jews would have us live, we show that we have not received grace. The divine prophets lived as Jesus would have us live and they were persecuted because they were inspired by His grace. But because of this, disobedient Jews were supposed to have been fully persuaded that there is one God who manifested himself through Christ Jesus His son, who is the message that proceeded from His silence, who in all things was pleasing to Him who sent him... It is monstrous to talk of Jesus Christ and practice Judaism. For Christianity did not believe in Judaism, but Judaism in Christianity, and on that belief every tongue believed and was gathered together for God" (Magnesians 9, 10).

Ignatius also adressed "deep thoughts." He was speaking about speaking with the same authority as the apostles, but he would not do so since they knew more than he did. Ignatius says, "I have many deep thoughts in God: but I take stock of myself, otherwise I might die (spiritually) because of my boasting... So I crave gentleness whereby the prince of this world is brought to nothing" (Traillians 4).

So, Ignatius' words throw some light on what is being addressed at Thyatira. Hopefully, one can learn that the Jews were causing problems in the area for those wanting to believe in Jesus' teachings. In general, Christians lived among a corruptive forces whether secular or spiritual, and those who were leaders in the churches cared a lot about their flock following teachings that would lead them away from Jesus' teachings. And that sounds like the American environment, in which case I can take to heart the gist of the message—don't take my eyes off of the Jesus of the gospels in which he said, "I am the truth, the way, and the life." End of story.

Third a language check

It's always worth the while to take time to check the original language and to check manuscript traditions for variants in the text. The check doesn't yield much, theologically speaking, in this letter, but it offers a couple of interesting points.

Verse 24 uses a word for what many translations render "the deep things" belonging to Satan. The word in Greek does mean depths but it is put in juxtaposition with the word preceding it, which is "knowing." At the very least this is a classic case of sarcasm, and at most an obvious contrast or oxymoron. The sarcasm comes from some of the Christians not "knowing" what should be "known" if they would only plumb the depths of Christianity. But, Jesus is complimenting those not "knowing the depths" or having only shallow knowledge. Of course, then shallow knowledge is what Christians should know and knowing the depths is what gets people in trouble. If the phrase is taken as an oxymoron, then knowing something generally implies that one has studied deeply. But, who would want to know the depths "of Satan." The contrast is to take the phrase "knowing the depths" and putting it against "of Satan." The Gnostic group of Christians could have been referred to as Jezebel in the letter, and if that is the case, then using the verb for "know" is a slam against the group whose name derives from "knowledge" because the gnostic group has just been named the Satanic group. Gnostics thought they knew so much more than the regular Christians. But the "less knowing" group is complimented here.

A second tidbit from the language is the variant found in verse 22. Jesus says that Jezebel will be thrown on a sickbed. Three other words are found as variants for sickbed here. All of them are punitive. But each of them has a different slant on what will truly happen to Jezebel. One variant is that she would be thrown into prison; one is that she would be thrown in to a furnace; and one is that she would be thrown into a state of weakness. Whichever one is really right doesn't matter so much as the picture that God is ready to deal with Jezebel because she represents such utter evil. Thus, God is going to come through for the Christians at Thyratira for having such a "simple" faith. He will give the one who conquers (the temptation to know deeply a teaching from Satan) someone to brightly guide him or identify him with brilliance—the morning star!

Second an Old Testament allusion

A short excursion to the Old Testament reveals a little more meaning to the letter to Thyatira. Revelation in general is rife with Old Testament allusions. The 7 letters are no exception. Three OT allusions are encountered in this letter to Thyatira.

First is the reference to Jezebel from 1st and 2nd Kings. Ahab had to be the most wicked king in all of Israel's history. He had help, though. He married someone whose father carried the name of Baal, God's competitor in Sidon. After marrying this lady, he instituted her false religion in Israel. In other words he prostituted Israel's religion, figuratively speaking. Because of her influence, prophets uttered oracles against her, one of which was that she would die in Jezreel and another saying that her sons would be cut down and her royal line would come to an end. So, in Revelation Jezebel is the sybolic name for a prophetess who prostituted Jesus' religion and whose symbolic children would be cut down or caused to suffer great grief. God would not stand for a verse 2 of Jezebel to happen with the religion surrounding his son.

Another reference is to Psalm 2.8-9. This Psalm touts the overcomer to rule powerfully over his enemies. This definitely offset the legend of Thyrimnos with his double sided ax and his alliance with the Roman power. Jesus, in effect, says that his followers would be every bit as powerful as the local icon. Thus, the praise of verse 19 was reinforced with the Psalm portion in order to give encouragement to worn-out hearts for the love, faith, service and patience they had shown in their community.

A final reference seems to echo Jeremiah 11.20. The prophet is asking God for revenge on his enemies or at least observing that God would avenge him since he was God's prophet, so he says that the Lord of Hosts would judge fairly because he tries or searches the heart and mind. In Revelation the echo serves the same purpose. God would judge the Christians' enemies because he can search their minds and hearts for the evil they have in them.

The OT allusions have an identifying and encouraging role to play in the letter to Thyratira. Christians' hearts should have been encouraged because God was going to put evil in its place. The first centruy Christians needed to hear such a message. They understood it plainly and stood up as Christians against the backdrop of paganism starkly.

Connecting to history

Sometimes good literature has great symmetry in it. The first three chapters of Revelation certainly fit in here. Each of the 7 letters opens with an identifier that takes one back to the last several verses of the first chapter which is identifying Jesus as a person worthy of remembering. In the opening of this letter, the identifier "eyes like a flame of fire and feet like burnished bronze" connect directly to one of the main businesses in town, the metal workers. They not only made coins but other objects as well, such as armor and weapon parts. So, if Jesus was introducing himself to Christians in the town as one who knew them intimately, he had to name himself with an identifier that showed he had knowledge of the main guild in town in which some of them may have worked, but at least most of them respected or were beholden to. Jesus was perhaps saying that he was at least as powerful as the main guild was also, so he was not beholden to them nor would the Christians be if they were to follow him more closely.

Jesus also referred to a prophetess in Thyatira. That would be the priestess of Sembethe. She had been delivering oracles that "beguiled" or "seduced" the Christians into eating meat offered to idols and sexual intercourse. This doesn't take a wild imagination to understand what her oracles must have contained. Meat can be eaten without it having to represent the idol it was offered to. And, of course, if that is true, then sex can be separated from love so that it doesn't have to represent one's sharing of souls or one's giving of love. Of course, that also gets into the temple worship that seems to have existed in association with Artemis as well, that is, the association of sex with offerings to the great goddess Artemis.

A quotation was also given that Thyatirans could appreciate. "To the one who conquers (his temptations), I will give him power over the nations, and he shall rule them with a rod of iron." On some of the coins minted at Thyatira is the figure of Thyrimnos, the local legendary military hero. He always carried a double edged ax over his shoulder and was wearing a general's cloak. On one coin he is joined by a Roman general and both were referred to as the "sons of Zeus." So, militarily ruling with power might have an appeal or at least an immediate point of understanding by a Thyatiran.

One can derive all of this without any trouble if he just takes the time to do a little study of the history of Thyatira. Already the original listener to ths letter is attentive because he just might be thinking that Jesus knew the kind of person a Thyatiran was. Jesus would know the environment he lived in and understand him that much better. So, he would give an ear to hear "what the spirit is saying to the churches."

First a history lesson

I have to test this out. I thought after my railing in the last blog that I should quit stewing and do something about what I was upset about. So, I am going to blog the few things I come up with and see if there is a match next Sunday morning. I will also log my time to see if I come up with as much information in the same or less time than the teacher. So, over the next few blogs I am going to recount what I have found. The last several verses of Revelation 2 deal with the church at Thyatira.

First, I thought I should know something about ancient Thyatira. I have spent about 4 hours over the last 2 days looking at internet sites on ancient Thyatira. I would do this if I were teaching a class. 7 matters of interest pop up right away. Between 80 AD and 270 AD Thyatira was in the business of minting coins for the area. The town seemed to have been established as a garrison of soldiers for reinforcement purposes since it took the name Thyatira after about 330 BC. Over time it had become a center for guilds such as cloth dyeing, leather making, copper making, and about 7 others. An oracle (or temple containing a priestess [or prophetess in Jewish terms]) representing Sambethe was there. A temple to Artemis was also there although it was not to the same magnitude as the temple to Artemis in Ephesus. The local hero with demigod status was depicted on some of the coins. His name was Thyrimnos and he is also coupled with a Roman general and they were known as the sons of Zeus. In addition, bronze burnishing was a major guild and they had a demigod or legendary status at least for the founder of the trade. He also was put on the coins minted at Thyatira.

All of the above information is important because the letter delivered to the messenger to Thyatira adresses every aspect of their daily life and belief system. The next blog will deal with the connection between the history and the verses of the letter.

TOTALLY uninspiring

Occasionally times change and one aspect of society or another is behind the curve. Usually it doesn't take long for that aspect of society to catch up with the rest of it. If it doesn't, of course, it risks passing out of existence. So, this morning I got up and went to a class at a church within a denomination I have attended all my life. But, after leaving the class, I came home with such a sigh of disappointment in the inmost part of my psyche that I couldn't let the feeling go. So, I pondered it.

The class is studying the book of Revelation. It is in the beginning stages. The teacher took the class time this morning to comment on the letter that was written to Pergamum in chapter 2 of that book. Perhaps he didn't allow enough study time for his presentation, but he should know that Revelation is a rich literary work and has much to offer literarily, not counting spiritually. So, it's not the book to study if one only has limited time. He began by recounting what Pergamum was known for in the ancient world, moved to reading the verses dealing with the letter to Pergamum, and proceeded to divide his comments between how the church has allowed the material world to infiltrate it and how the church should discipline it members.

There aren't enough words for me to create the emptiness that lesson caused. Just so that the teacher could feel like he should critique the church as a whole on its acceptance of materialism or feel that he should suggest that we should act as God's agents of punishment on members who don't tow some kind of imaginary line, he held class this Sunday morning.

This is where going to church is about to become a relic of the past for me. I sat at home Saturday night and listened to a pastor of a huge church (Hillsong) that was more inpiring and who had spent more time discerning the New Testament than the class I chose to go to this morning. And I wasn't inconvenienced by having to go anywhere. Many times I can see a Biblical documentary on television and learn more than I did this morning because the program's producers have gone to various places or have interviewed knowledgeable people in the field. The lesson this morning had no use of media in it. I even receive power point presentations in email that help me understand someone's ideas such as translating Psalms or Proverbs. When I go to work, on a typical day I receive email with attachments from EXCEL or Adobe Acrobat or First Publisher, or I make them myself to send.

But maybe the most galling part of the presentation was the way in which the teacher only had one line of thinking about a very rich matter. There are probably 5 different points to the letter, each with at least 3 layers of meaning, some with 4, one with 5. Minimally educated people in America know that they can expect more than one line of thought on almost anything, but especially the Bible. Why did we get only one? Was it lack of preparation, lack of exposure (in which case the teacher needs to select a different book or topic on which he is more exposed), lack of class time (in which case he needs to prepare according to the time elements involved better), or just bigotry in presenting only one view? Even if he thought his view was right, he could have at least presented the "literary elements" in the passage—symbolic versus literal if nothing else. And what about all the historical connections that could have been brought to bear on the understanding of the passage? And what about all the Old Testament allusions that could have been brought to bear on the passage? And what about all the early church history that could have been brought to bear on the passage?

So, if I can pick up a book or flip to a history channel and not even leave home to learn about the book that I trust to help me get to my final destination, then what am I doing getting up earlier than I normally would on a weekend day to go antagonize myself? And for those who would say that Sunday's are not about learning but about being around other believers, then I say they have too narrow a view of Christianity because I am among believers all during the week. And what about "worship?" I am most inspired when I have a great conversation with one of those believers during the week or whenever I spend time driving to work listening to Third Day, Michael W. Smith, or Caedman's call or whenever I am translating my next work or whenever I am writing in my blog.

Society has changed. I hope that I can not be enslaved to my own powerful habits that waste my precious time on earth. And I hope that God uses a number of well placed people to change his church to reach people in the world that they really live in.

A seeker moment

I had a talk today with another who seeks out the hard questions. He was almost half my age. I am elated that someone his age will carry on the questioning in the next generation. I tried to give him examples of the path ahead if he continues to question things like inspiration of the Bible, origins of the Bible, historicity of certain events, timelines for the Bible, cultural ideas versus doctrinal ideas, etc. I felt for him because I know the rejection he feels and will feel. But I also know that won't throw him off track. It will certainly make him remain honest before God. And I know that it will not lead him to reject God. So, I ask the Maker of him who seeks to lead this young man beside calm waters and to some very green pastures knowing that he will not receive his spiritual food from the religious establishment, but from God and a handful of true friends. And I thank the Maker of satisfactory and encouraging moments for the journey He has made with me and for the handful of true friends given to me on my walk through life.

An evening for the heart

I had a great spiritual experience. But, it wasn't church and it wasn't even Sunday. I went to a friend's wedding. It was held at an Episcopal church, so it was very different from the protestant church I go to. During the wedding, as a part of the ceremony, the wedding party and the rest of the attendees shared the eucharist. It was a very meaningful part of the service and always in a non-Sunday communion I am made to meditate on things near to my heart. The liturgy was outstanding, and they had two women read the scriptures for the wedding. And I always think it's good to include the Song of Songs at a wedding ceremony, and this one had a section from that book in it.

At the wedding reception afterwards, all went well, and I got to visit with a friend who had come from Mexico and another linguistic buddy. But, at the very end, one of the ladies who had read scripture came over to me and touched my arm. She told me that she could tell from touching my arm that I had more to me than people see, that there was more under the surface than people knew about. My friend said, "I think you just received a prophetic utterance." I said, "Yes I did."

I don't know what the significance of the lady's telling me that was. Perhaps for personal encouragement, perhaps for some other reason. No doubt it left me pondering. But, the whole evening fed my soul with all that happened.

Keeping eyes where they should be

Walking the park was interesting today. A higher than usual number of people were enjoying the heat and the park, many of them walking as well. That is many times a distraction for me. But not this evening. My eyes kept looking at the looming clouds in the distance. I knew that a storm would not drift my way because it was headed away from me. But the clouds held my attention. So, it enabled me to hold my usual conversation with the Maker of the storm clouds. It's a good thing. I needed the time with him. There is something about soaking in the nature around you that gives clarity to thought. So, he gave me that.

Yokes and burdens

A nice word play surfaced while I was studying this morning. It comes from Matthew 11.28-30. The old version of it goes like this: "Come to me all who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls for my yoke is easy and burden is light." The word play is in verse 30–for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. As is the case with any pun, there is a more literal understanding and a figurative understanding. An added stroke of genius in this teaching is the paradoxical phrasing. Since Jesus grew up in a rural area, he would know about yoking oxen to plow fields. So, he uses something right out of countryside to express a profound truth to his followers.

The literal goes like this. My yoke is easy (to wear) because when I put it on you, it fits you exactly. It's not too loose to cause rubbing and sores. It's not too tight to keep you from working or cause you physical harm. It's the perfect fit. If you follow my teachings, they will be the perfect fit for you. The second part is about loads. That is what oxen are teamed together for. They share the load so that it goes faster with less strain on the animal. Team with Jesus and the load becomes nothing at all, which is paradoxical since loads by definition are heavier than someone would want to deal with. So, the language carries a pun and a paradox. The translation to express this literal idea would read, "For my yoke fits you exactly and my load weighs nothing at all."

Figuratively speaking, you get a second meaning and a second contrast. A yoke suggests that you are being controlled by someone behind you and to a lesser extent by someone beside you, yoked with you. One use of the word translated as light is reputable or benevolent. So, Jesus would be meaning that his yoke or type of control would be to make us reputable or benevolent people. On the second part of the statement, burden is light, the burden is usually oppressive or hampering in some way so that we don't achieve happiness or satisfaction. But the word for light can also mean nimble in handling or insignificant. The translation to express this figurative idea would read, "For my control causes you to have a good reputation and my heavy load is something you can nimbly handle."

The pun and the paradox are very comforting to those of us who have experienced some of life's most difficult circumstances. It makes his invitation to come to him attractive, and the ensuing walk with him makes us reputable and refreshed people. May it always be.

To those who would be word gurus

Sometimes people go through the exercise of answering what is necessary, what is important, and what is urgent. People taking managerial school often get asked this question because it is supposed to help them know how to priortize their days. To me, this is merely a semantics game. All three words, necessary, important, and urgent, have some commonalities in their semantic domains that keep them from being heirarchical. Managerial schools teach that necessary items get done on a regular basis, not every day. Important items get done first in day whether or not they are necessary or not. Urgent items get done immediately, and since they have deadlines for being accomplished, they are never routine. That order makes sense if a person gets to control the meanings of words in the English language.

But, the language is bigger than one speaker, and only certain people during certain stages in a word's history get to control the meaning of words used. Just as easily as the above hierarchy, one could say that what is necessary for a moment in time gets done because it is the important item for that moment, thus requiring our urgent handling. In that way they all have the same meaning. Or what about this meaning? Nothing should ever get to crisis stage (urgent) if everything gets handled in its appropriate time (importance), so working a plan or schedule is always necessary. We could go on.

All that to say, people should not get too excited nor too bent out of shape over following someone else's model for word definitions. If one wants to willingly do so, fine. But, don't impose those definitions unless he knows it is specific to time and place. Or unless a person or group is destiny's choice for changing a word in its own historical cycle.

Gambling my life away

I wonder about so much. I control very little. That gives rise to all sorts of anxiety and situations that I have to live with that go against my value system. I suppose that's where trust comes in. Someone is controlling the big picture. Not controlling humans necessarily, but perhaps events to a certain degree. Of course, that is a guess and a wish on my part. But, I choose to call it a trust. I certainly would be depressed without the hope of that trust's existence. And I have to live my whole life to know for certain if I was right in gambling that the trust was true. But, I'm taking that risk. It's too bleak to think otherwise and a waste of a good investment of time and energy. So be it.

A rail against mindless youth

I'm finding out more all the time that aged people and youth have little in common. By the time I die I might be an island entire of itself even though John Dunn's famous poem says that no man is an island entire of itself. The logic of youth is nearly always egocentric and myopic. The ambitions of youth take on well established ideas even though they have not thoroughly explored what is in place or they have no replacement at all for an idea they rue. They're sickening, but they are what The Progenitor of the ages gave aged people to work with. I'll have to ask about that when I get to the other side.

The 50-year lens

Recently I had a 28 year old person try to correct me on the matter of God's predetermined will for people and His omiscience. I still resist the idea that I have tried to reconcile all my life. My 20s decade is the last decade of my life to really entertain the thought that God might have some predetermination in history. I just cannot believe that is how it is. God works with people no matter their condition. I have seen that over and over.

People in their 20s have not seen God work in people's lives very often, much less their own. So they may hypothesize, but I don't think they have the ability to see so clearly. Of course, their usual response to my rejection of their idea of predetermination is God's omniscience. I can't buy that either if they mean God is all-knowing by it. I think it is a little convenient to concoct the idea that God can see the whole time continuum of one's life so that people can think God is in control. Free will means that God has given up that aspect of control to his creation. I have seen God pull people from some pretty seedy places in life and give them hope. I have seen others slip slowly away into nothingness and never reach out to God. But I have not seen people who have walked with God who think it was because God willed it to be so before they were born.

We have a creator that is magnificent and certainly more powerful than humans. We have a creator that loves his human race so much that he gave his only son so that he could offer them a life that never ends. We have a creator that works with us to lead us home to him.

We do not have a creator that knows our every move before it happens because he predetermined it. No way. That would surely have impeded his great care for his human race. Which he wiped out once in anger—except for one person and his family. Which he abandoned after he tried to fashion a certain man's descendents into a nation that would acknowledge him. But which he agreed to work with in a nurturing way after letting his son seal a new agreement with them. But that's looking through a 50 year old lens. And I like it a whole lot better.

Two birds, one stone

Encouragement doesn't always come in the form of confirmation, but it is nice when it happens. Today, I received 2 confirmations, one in two different areas. It was so very heartwarming. When other people say something unexpectedly about the tons of work and a good span of years that it took to make something productive, it is like a fresh puff of wind against the face. When what they say is also complimentary or something they find useful, you know that all the energies you put into the aim and goal has just paid off. And it is not just an acknowledgement of human energies, it is a recognition of the opportunities and energies of the one who is using his human vessel to reflect something of Him. So, while confirmation is encouraging, I am not the end receiver of the compliment. The one using his human vessel is. But two birds are hit with one stone, and the two birds feel good about being hit.

Sober parent

It's always sobering to think parenting. All I have to do is visit with my daughter to see in what areas I surley went wrong. On the other hand, there are those moments when everything said is just what needs to be said. I can't see a trajectory line when I look at my daughter to know if 30 years from now she will have "come full circle" and not be stuck in her self-centered, counter-productive activities. I know that she fights two forces, her mother's and mine, for we have left two very different examples for her to choose from. Then there's her own example that she is bent on providing for herself.

All I know is that she is on her own path, one that she to some extent will control, at least in the early going. Life will spin out of control gradually as she ages. What will her end be like? But that is not in the crystal ball for me to see. I simply ask the one who could control to nudge, cajole, coax, and give opportunity for her to stay on the path that leads her home to Him. In the meantime, it's sobering to think of parenting.