Bottom of the barrel

I ponder from time to time what some of the master teacher's words meant. The beatitudes begin with (depending on the version one uses) "Blessed are the poor in spirit." When I first learned the Greek language, I thought it was neat to explore some of the meanings of words in the original such as, "How fortunate are the beggars in spirit."

But, trying to put either the idea of "blessed" or "poor" into something understandable has proven to be a challenge over the years. The word for "blessed" is a challenge in itself. Then the phrase "beggars in spirit" has multiple meanings depending on one's view of the time period. I wish I could definitively come to a conclusion about this saying. But, I can see that my lifetime is too short for a definitive conclusion.

Tonight I came close, I think, to the idea of this beatitude. It was in a group setting in which I usually have something to offer. But, the chat that went on at the beginning of the group time took my mind down a melancholic path. So, I had nothing to offer. As much as I may have wanted to offer something, my mouth was muted, and I listened mainly. I don't think I gained great insight from listening. The nature of the comments didn't pertain to issues needing great insight. The group discussion centered on a topic I was disinterested in. My inner person was impoverished. And as I understand "blessed," it would have something to do with being honorable or having integrity. So tonight I experienced the honor of feeling impoverished. Now I think I know what the bottom of the barrel looks like as far as it depends on me to do anything for myself or understand my own life.

The first beatitude was suddenly my reality. It was a weird place to be in. But, since I wasn't able to look to myself or anyone else for insight or understanding, the only place left to turn was to heaven. And that is exactly how the beatitude ends.

How honorable for you when you finally discover that you have an impoverished spirit because it is then that you will find/understand heaven. Jesus