E-Harmony is onto something. Their whole idea is that two people can come together and stay together because they are compatible. Actually, that's based on some very good research. But what e-harmony is really onto is that two people can share a genetic fabric seamlessly. Allow me to explain.
It's time to go way beyond the adage, "Opposites attract." People are alike in a number of ways even though in some ways they remain different because the genes program the cells differently. What if the genes that produce cells for the body also produce personality. And although we are all alike in that we can more or less get along in the world, we are different in personalities. A number of companies have put out personality tests or predictive indexes, but it's way beyond that. There are probably as many combinations of personality strands as there are genetic trait appearance strands.
What if people's personalities shared traits like people's appearances share traits. For example, people share the traits of hair color,fingernail roundness or ridges, nose pointedness or roundness, size of ears, etc. In other words, we know others, even outside of our families, who share with us certain appearance traits. If personality is genetically produced, it would stand to reason that personality "shapes" would also be shared. But, itstead of saying personality shapes, let's say that personalities have points of connection with others' personalities - not attraction necessarily - connection. Some points of connection might truly be opposites connecting, such as one kind of personality trait in one person appreciating a certain personality trait in another person because they are complementary or supplementary. I would think much more of the time the connection would be derived from having the same personality trait, though. There might even be certain personality traits that are connected because of admiration of one trait for another. So, one would have connecting points of opposites, sameness, admiration, maybe tolerance or blindness to certain other traits, even connection points of pleasantness, one trait feeding another's trait. Attraction would fall under this category, but the category is larger than attraction and subcategories could be exclusive of its fellow subcategories. Call this series of combinations compatibility if they match up perfectly and incompatibility if they are mismatched completely.
Of course, there is no such thing as compatibility or incompatibility. Put another way, there is a low probability that compatible and incompatible, as defined above, would combine perfectly for a match or mismatch. E-harmony has shown that compatibility to a degree can make a difference, however, in the way humans can live together successfully. The good work that e-harmony has accomplished is deceiving though. Since it is successful, people miss the point about compatibility. E-harmony sells its idea in the love arena so that compatibility is seen only as attraction. But two people can be compatible without attraction. We know this is so because of the coined term platonic relationship. Two people can be compatible and attracted to each other. People, for example, refer to spouses or significant others as their best friends besides being their lovers. Two people have also been noticed to have complementary and supplementary connections. Thus, the term soul mate was coined outside the terms for attraction.
But, I'm trying to ask a different question. Can two people share the genetic personality points that connect them to the extent that age boundaries even generational boundaries are crossed? Can two people share so many personality points that familial or romantic connections are superseded? Can two people of different generations, different races, different religious beliefs be connected whether or not they ever meet? And if they meet, would the two notice it immediately? If e-harmony is any indication just in the one arena it caters to, the answer is yes to the above 3 questions. People of different ages are compatible. Regularly, mates meet that are a decade apart in age. On a smaller scale, and probably due to societal taboos or philosophical views, different races are compatible for e-harmony. People of different religious beliefs are compatible we know for sure from the e-harmony experiment.
For sake of illustration, if, out of the thousands of points for possible connections to combine, just 4 areas of combination were perfectly matched, I might start to notice some compatibility. If those 4 areas were identified as opposite (complementary and supplementary), sameness, admiration, and pleasantness, I could notice certain specific manifestations. What if, for example, I met someone with the moniker, number girl, knowing that my moniker is wordman? I would immediately notice a complementary opposite. What if that same person shared the same humor as mine? What if the same someone possessed a trait I admired, such as the ability to mix well with people and accept people for who they are? What if this person's trademark laugh was an area of pleasantness my own personality craved? And what if there were a thousand other points of connection in a number of other areas? We would be compatible, then, whatever the beliefs, race, or age happened to be. And the more connecting points, the more compatibility.
Some would say the two share souls. That's an easily misunderstood metaphor, though. What they share are seamless points of connection in a genetic fabric of compatibility, not e-harmony style, but total harmony style.
It's time to go way beyond the adage, "Opposites attract." People are alike in a number of ways even though in some ways they remain different because the genes program the cells differently. What if the genes that produce cells for the body also produce personality. And although we are all alike in that we can more or less get along in the world, we are different in personalities. A number of companies have put out personality tests or predictive indexes, but it's way beyond that. There are probably as many combinations of personality strands as there are genetic trait appearance strands.
What if people's personalities shared traits like people's appearances share traits. For example, people share the traits of hair color,fingernail roundness or ridges, nose pointedness or roundness, size of ears, etc. In other words, we know others, even outside of our families, who share with us certain appearance traits. If personality is genetically produced, it would stand to reason that personality "shapes" would also be shared. But, itstead of saying personality shapes, let's say that personalities have points of connection with others' personalities - not attraction necessarily - connection. Some points of connection might truly be opposites connecting, such as one kind of personality trait in one person appreciating a certain personality trait in another person because they are complementary or supplementary. I would think much more of the time the connection would be derived from having the same personality trait, though. There might even be certain personality traits that are connected because of admiration of one trait for another. So, one would have connecting points of opposites, sameness, admiration, maybe tolerance or blindness to certain other traits, even connection points of pleasantness, one trait feeding another's trait. Attraction would fall under this category, but the category is larger than attraction and subcategories could be exclusive of its fellow subcategories. Call this series of combinations compatibility if they match up perfectly and incompatibility if they are mismatched completely.
Of course, there is no such thing as compatibility or incompatibility. Put another way, there is a low probability that compatible and incompatible, as defined above, would combine perfectly for a match or mismatch. E-harmony has shown that compatibility to a degree can make a difference, however, in the way humans can live together successfully. The good work that e-harmony has accomplished is deceiving though. Since it is successful, people miss the point about compatibility. E-harmony sells its idea in the love arena so that compatibility is seen only as attraction. But two people can be compatible without attraction. We know this is so because of the coined term platonic relationship. Two people can be compatible and attracted to each other. People, for example, refer to spouses or significant others as their best friends besides being their lovers. Two people have also been noticed to have complementary and supplementary connections. Thus, the term soul mate was coined outside the terms for attraction.
But, I'm trying to ask a different question. Can two people share the genetic personality points that connect them to the extent that age boundaries even generational boundaries are crossed? Can two people share so many personality points that familial or romantic connections are superseded? Can two people of different generations, different races, different religious beliefs be connected whether or not they ever meet? And if they meet, would the two notice it immediately? If e-harmony is any indication just in the one arena it caters to, the answer is yes to the above 3 questions. People of different ages are compatible. Regularly, mates meet that are a decade apart in age. On a smaller scale, and probably due to societal taboos or philosophical views, different races are compatible for e-harmony. People of different religious beliefs are compatible we know for sure from the e-harmony experiment.
For sake of illustration, if, out of the thousands of points for possible connections to combine, just 4 areas of combination were perfectly matched, I might start to notice some compatibility. If those 4 areas were identified as opposite (complementary and supplementary), sameness, admiration, and pleasantness, I could notice certain specific manifestations. What if, for example, I met someone with the moniker, number girl, knowing that my moniker is wordman? I would immediately notice a complementary opposite. What if that same person shared the same humor as mine? What if the same someone possessed a trait I admired, such as the ability to mix well with people and accept people for who they are? What if this person's trademark laugh was an area of pleasantness my own personality craved? And what if there were a thousand other points of connection in a number of other areas? We would be compatible, then, whatever the beliefs, race, or age happened to be. And the more connecting points, the more compatibility.
Some would say the two share souls. That's an easily misunderstood metaphor, though. What they share are seamless points of connection in a genetic fabric of compatibility, not e-harmony style, but total harmony style.
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