Whomever, whoever, whatever

Many views we take are a matter of interpretation. The lady on the news tonight said that some benefactor was giving away something "to whomever wishes to take it." Well, normally, "whomever" is the grammatically correct choice. It's objective case all right. It follows a preposition all right. But, "whomever" does not appear alone. It's in a clause. Now, another rule could come into play. Select "whoever," the subject case pronoun when the indefinite relative pronoun is the subject of its own clause. Now, there is room for interpretation. Should one use subject case to follow the rules of choice for clauses or the object case pronoun to follow the case rules for words that follow a preposition? The news anchor made a choice. I would have chosen the other rule. Who's right?

I find this to be true in other areas besides grammar. It happens in socialization of speech, in acceptable rules governing cultural habits, in religion, and elsewhere. We all make choices that others would not choose, and sometimes, in fact, choose the direct opposite option. I visited a restaurant not long ago with a friend. Before we received our meal a family was seated next to us with very small children. My friend thought that it was so impolite of the people to come to a restaurant in the first place with children who would have to be corrected in public and force others outside their family to have to put up with such obnoxious behavior. He even went so far as to make comments loud enough for the couple to hear so that they would know his interpretation of correct public behavior. I also know another person who will ask to be moved if small children are seated near her.

Somehow, we all get along with each other in the end or there would be mass killings. Of course, we all have preferences and don't want those violated with any degree of frequency. One of the most beautiful songs I heard at the close of the year 2008 was a song by Casting Crowns called "I can hear the Christmas bells ringing." It was about the announcement from angels to humans, "Peace on earth, good will to its people." But, it also talked about how people really hate each other and peace on earth can never be achieved.

Should I care that the news anchor used "whomever" when I can think of a rule of equal weight that would select "whoever?" Should I care if a family with small children get seated next to me in a restaurant? Should I opt for peace when it can never really be achieved? I don't know. I learned a long time ago that you can't change the stripes on a zebra. People are who they are. Mostly, rules are relative. But, it sure is hard for people to realize the relativity or arbitrariness of their views and beliefs.